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  • At the Screwvies: Episode 115

    22 hours ago

    g1Features

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    MADHERO: What's up guys, hope you're enjoying the end of your summer vacation. Hopefully its spent in Singapore surrounded by insanely wealthy socialites and living a life of luxury. Instead of us, trapped in a crappy dimly lit apartment, trying desperately to clean up all the puppet jizz that's literally everywhere and went on for way too long. Its a felt Jackson Pollock if there ever was one. So yeah, I had hoped for a slightly better end to the summer season, but here we are.


    LARRY: Damn that was quite a descriptive intro, Mad. Not sure I’m happy about it.


    STICKMAN: Puppet Jizz is our lives now, we might as well accept that.


    MADHERO: Once you've seen a puppet blow its load, its hard to forget. Anyway, we might as well take a break and go talk about some news.


    LARRY: *shudders*


    NEWS

    ACADEMY AWARDS ANNOUNCE 3 HOUR RUN TIME AND NEW CATEGORY OF BEST POPULAR FILM FOLLOWING DECLINING RATINGS

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    Normally, we wouldn't be talking the Oscars until at least October, but recent changes have sounded off the biggest change to the Academy since 2009, when they expanded the Best Picture nominees from 5 to a maximum of 10. That change, initially implemented to get more known films in the biggest category, has largely failed, and the show in general continues to decline in ratings, with the latest show scoring the lowest ratings in their history. This has led to some pretty major changes which have been received... let's say mixed.


    Under pressure from ABC, the show will be cut to 3 hours, as well as from 2020 on, will be held earlier in the year. That shorter length will mean that some award winners and speeches will be done whilst commercials are going on and will appear later at some point in the broadcast. While I don't think anyone will disagree with the length, its shitty that some smaller awards will not be allowed to shine to millions. The more egregious decision, comes in the form of a new category: Outstanding Achievement in Popular Film, meant to highlight the blockbusters that generally have an hard time getting nominated. Pretty much everyone has dunked on this decision, with it being a pretty blatant attempt to get films like Black Panther on the ballot which is otherwise a less sure thing. As of right now, its hard to say what the award even means, but it can't help but sound condescending to both normal and unorthodox Best Picture nominees. Look forward to our predictions at the end of the year.


    LARRY: I’m still waiting to hear exactly what that award even means, to be honest. But on paper, it doesn’t sound like a good idea.


    STICKMAN: Siiiiiigh. The Oscars just don't get it.


    MADHERO: O those poor blockbusters. Now we finally get to see Vin Diesel win a Oscar for Fast 10.


    STICKMAN: Everyone's asked them to take mainstream cinema more seriously, instead they're throwing it the world’s worst  bone.


    MADHERO: Its doing what the Best Picture award was meant to do when it expanded, which it did in the beginning (Districht 9, Avatar, Toy Story 3) but only made room for more "arty" films. Which should be fine, the best films should be nominated, but it didn't help matters.


    STICKMAN: The best films should be nominated, but I think we can all agree that they generally aren't. Some? Maybe. But not most.


    LARRY: The best films from the general consensus, sure. Arthouse films generally always have a strong showing.


    MADHERO: Its still really difficult to know what this category is going to entail. That's up for speculation, and the Academy has stated that films nominated for this new category can still get nominated for Best Picture, but that road feels a lot more difficult now.


    LARRY: Yeah, again, so many factors could determine what this award means. I’m waiting to hear those before I blow a gasket. But I can see why people aren’t happy.


    STICKMAN: My main thing right now is presenting some of the awards outside of the show. That's fucking stupid.


    LARRY: Yeah I HATE that. That’s upsetting me more, honestly. The Tonys do that and it’s so annoying.


    MADHERO: It sucks for the lesser categories who won't get a chance to shine, so that ABC can add more staged invasions of cinemas with hot dog cannons.


    STICKMAN: There shouldn't be "lesser categories" though. The awards are a celebration of cinema and the people who make them. Not just Brad Pitt getting a free pizza.


    LARRY: Exactly. Every category is worthy of being showcased.


    MADHERO: I can't pretend to care as much about Short Documentary as I do the main categories, but it’s still nice for those people to get recognition, like the winner of Best Short doing her speech in sign language.


    STICKMAN: It's not about what one person cares about, though. It's about the achievement of reaching that level of recognition, and also shining a spotlight on less celebrated corners of the medium. I FEEL.


    LARRY: If someone is getting an award, it deserves to be recognized as a part of the ceremony. Period. This is only going to create a more thorough dichotomy between types of awards, which sucks because everyone in the industry works hard.


    STICKMAN: Instead of adding a Popular FIlms category they should be adding Stunt Work or Motion Capture .


    MADHERO: We're going to see what happens in terms of ratings. Its obvious thosr have continued to decline which is why it has happened. Will this change things? i doubt it, but we'll see in late February.


    SONY DETAILS PLANS FOR SPIDER-MAN FILMS. SILVER SABLE/BLACK CAT MOVIE NOW 2 SEPARATE FILMS. VENOM LOOKING TO BE PG-13 FOR POTENTIAL CROSSOVER

    So, we’ve known for a while now that, despite the trailers receiving mixed reactions and the actual film not having even been released yet (oy...), Sony is putting its bets on Venom to kickstart a brand new cinematic universe focused on the many supporting baddies in Spider-Man’s rogues gallery. We knew they were working on several different projects, but perhaps we didn’t realize just how deep this delusion goes. Somehow, they seem to be topping their last ridiculous effort to MCU the Spidey universe, which was canned after ASM2 was a commercial and critical failure.


    Besides for our goopy friend’s cinematic return, which is now probably going to be PG-13 instead of R to potentially crossover with Spidey’s escapades in the MCU, we got Morbius starring Jared Leto, the previously announced “Silver and Black” movie, focusing on Silver Sable and Black Cat, will now be two solo films, with original director Gina Prince-Bythewood most likely going from director to producer. As far as new stuff, Richard Wenk is writing a solo film for Kraven the Hunter (now THAT’S a movie I would pay to see), we are also seeing Sony pushing diversity in a trio of solo films for Silk, a Korean-Amerixan female superhero, Jackpot, an older heroine (and, depending on which identity they choose, a lesbian), and Nightwatch (not much there but he’s cool I guess). While all of these plans sound ridiculously out of nowhere story-wise and have barely even begun development, at least there’s diversity I guess. The bottom line is that clearly Sony has learned nothing since their last fuck up, and if Venom turns out to be as shitty as it looks, we’re looking at yet another cinematic universe going up in flames...or down in goop...I dunno.


    STICKMAN: Make it stoOoOOop.


    MADHERO: Extreme Detective Cooper voice: ITS HAPPENING AGAIN!


    STICKMAN: Why can't they wait and see what the response to Venom is before making 50,000 film plans and shoving teasers for them all into their movies. Did they learn nothingggg from Amazing Spider-Man?


    LARRY: Apparently not. Literally nothing.


    MADHERO: Just you wait when they revive that Aunt May spy prequel thing


    STICKMANLast Saturday at 10:37 PM

    Oooyyy. I will say, the focus on diversity is great, I think that's important, although I feel for Sony it's more them sniffing the cash train that was Black Panther, but there you go.


    LARRY: What’s hysterical to me is that, with the Fox merger, it’s only becoming clearer that Sony has no reason to own the characters it has the rights to. They simply don’t understand how to do the cinematic universe. It’s so fucking frustrating.


    MADHERO: I mean, they own the license still. Its very much a miracle that Spidey is in the MCU, but the way they're handling this now just screams like they're reviving their Amazing Spider-Man plans, which crashed in a wall.


    STICKMAN: Amazing Spider-Man as a series was really dogged down by the need to establish a UNIVERSE with over-arching mysteries and characters who will become more important later on. Except it didn't work because they didn't make a good enough film with that.


    LARRY: I loved that stupid plot line about the Sinister Six in ASM2. It was so pompous, it was almost like watching a trainwreck happen before it actually happened.


    STICKMAN: Venom looks to be another car crash, prove me wrong, Sony,  I'd love for it to be great, but yeah. Unlikely.


    MADHERO: I feel like Venom is probably going to be its own self-established thing with major sequel bait, but that the films are going to be separate for now. I do find it hilarious they're trying to go PG 13 now.


    LARRY: It looks like a total misfire. Going PG-13? What a joke. You joke about him dismembering people limb from limb and then just like...cutaway? Bullshit.


    STICKMAN: Especially after the trailer's edgy obsession with body parts.


    MADHERO: To be fair, they never promised a R-rating. It just seems like that was the initial plan and they backed out. There's some pretty edgy content in the trailers and that'll be softened, like a turd.... in the wind.


    LARRY: A goopy black turd.


    JAMES GUNN NOT GOING TO BE RE-HIRED BY DISNEY. WILL LIKELY STILL USE HIS SCRIPT AS BASIS

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    A couple episodes ago, we talked about the disappointing news that was James Gunn being fired as director of GotG Vol 3 following a resurfacing of offensive tweets by a right-wing campaign to get him discredited. It's fair to say the story has been a source of constant interest from the various entertainment news outlets of the world, and whilst not much has actually changed, there's still a lot more to unpack. There was apparently some pressure from Marvel Studios towards the heads at Disney to reinstate him as director, including the whole Guardians cast signing a letter. For one fleeting moment, rehiring seemed a possibility, with studio head Alan Horn meeting with James Gunn to discuss things, but he’s ultimately decided to stick to their gun(n)s and not rehire him for the position.


    However, in a move that somewhat negates any moral high ground the studio has by sacking him as director, they still intend to use his script, which does mean he'll still both be credited, and paid by the studio, but seems weird after everything that’s happened. Dave Bautista specifically being very vocal and scathing about the situation, threatening to quit. Despite this, Disney seem to be refusing to budge on the issue,. For Gunn though, there's plenty of interest from other studio's, so he'll find new work, but that does not change the fact how much of a shame this is.


    MADHERO: God, this has only been going on for a month but already feels like forever.


    LARRY: They will use his script but not have him on as director? So...acknowledge his place in the film’s production and credit him yet act as tho he’s this disreputable, offensive person that doesn’t hold Disney’s values?


    STICKMAN: Movies sure are a thing.


    MADHERO: Its a complicated scenario, and it'll likely still use his script albeit with some polishing. Its still a first draft. They can't use it without reaching a settlement with Gunn, but the chance of him directing seems to be officially over.


    LARRY: Alan Horn can go suck Venom’s big tongue for all I care. The man is a hypocritical asshole with no backbone. This is the same dude who banned publications from going to see early critic screenings because of good journalism. I can’t say I’m surprised but I can I’m angry as hell.


    STICKMAN:  Are you telling me Disney aren't the house of magic and wonder and are instead a money-grabbing, cynical corporation teeming with greed and corruption?


    MADHERO: It continues to suck. The reason why especially.  It was all so very unnecessary


    STICKMAN: This situation sucks, especially now they're not even taking any moral high ground and are instead being stubborn about a rash and uncoordinated termination of a major player in their biggest live action franchise. But there you go, Christopher Robin out now in cinemas.


    LARRY: Alan Horn, the man who succumbed to an alt-right rapist and his stupid smear campaign.    


    MADHERO: Oof. Nothing more to add there.


    STICKMAN: None of us are getting jobs at Disney in the future now.


    CHRIS PINE AND CHRIS HEMSWORTH SEEMINGLY OUT OF STAR TREK 4 AFTER PARAMOUNT TRIES TO LOWER SALARY

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    For fans hoping to see two Hollywood Chris’ on screen together at last, those dreams may never see the light of day, sadly. We know that there's a Star Trek 4 in development, having recently hired a hired a director in SJ Clarkson: the first woman to direct one of the films. We also knew it was going to involve some time travel, which would let Chris Hemsworth return as Kirk's father, whom he played before his breaktrhough as Thor.


    However, it now seems that negotiations have fallen through for both Chris Pine and Chris Hemsworth The studio is attempting to lower the Chris’ pay cuts due to the last film, Star Trek Beyond, underperforming, but the Chrises won’t budge. And it’s not hard to see why: Pine and Hemsworth are both big players in massive franchises, so to have their pay cuts lowered for a franchise that may not even be worth their time? That’s no good. Thankfully, the remaining mainstay cast members are likely to return, like Zoe Saldana and Jon Cho. But will the series’ main character have to be recast? We’ll have to wait and see.


    MADHERO: Well this sucks. Was really hoping for a Star Trek 4 and it was surprising they went through when Beyond underperformed


    STICKMAN: Can't wait to see what timeline altering bullshit they come up with for Kirk suddenly looking like another vaguely attractive white man.


    MADHERO: Hohoho, Chris Pine is not vaguely attractive. I guess with Wonder Woman he has another franchise to fall back on.


    LARRY: I mean...this won’t stop ST4 I feel. The episodic format makes things a lot more flexible. I can see them leaving Kirk behind and introducing some new protagonist.


    STICKMAN: I feel like there are more people than you'd expect that would be mad about a recast.


    MADHERO: There were people mad when this movie happened, and hell, they just casted a new Spock in Discovery. We know that Chekov won't be recast after Yelchin's death, but either way its a complex scenario. You can’t really skimp on budget with something like Star Trek,


    LARRY: But they sure can try. It’s even funnier cuz it’s the company’s fault Beyond underperformed. It was marketed poorly.


    STICKMAN: There's a lot more space action film competition now then there was when the first Star Trek film came out. Gotta stand out or be fantastic, and Beyond was...okay.


    MADHERO: It’s a shame that it underperformed when it’s probably the best in the trilogy. That Sabotage sequence remains fucking awesome.


    STICKMAN: Sabotage bit was great. Rest of it was....fine.


    MADHERO: We'll always have Discovery, the return of Picard, and that weird Tarantino thing that may or may not happen.


    LARRY: That’s true, it’s not like ST is dead. It’s kinda going through a resurgence.


    STICKMAN: Star Trek Discovery took a weird ass turn in the last half of the season, but it kinda worked. Maybe this next Star Trek movie should take risks and not play it safe or repeat previous stories. Or just...y'know, not boothherr.


    MADHERO: Or go where no one has gone before.


    BEN SCHWARTZ CAST AS SONIC THE HEDGEHOG IN LIVE-ACTION MOVIE

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    It remains hard to believe, but we are getting an Sonic the Hedgehog movie in 2019. We all lost our collective minds when we heard that Jim Carrey was going to play Ivo Robotnik/Doctor Eggman, and we've now seen set photos showing the movie takes place in Green Hill and there will be a chase scene in San Francisco, maybe something similar to City Escape in Sonic Adventure 2. Of course, one of the bigger questions still remained: who would be playing Sonic? Would Roger Craig Smith reprise his role, or would we get some stunt casting and see Jaleel White return? Not the case, as the role has now gone to Ben Schwartz, who's probably best known for being Jean Ralphio in Parks and Recreation.


    Considering Jean Ralphio was an annoying little prick trying way too hard to be cool, its good casting. Schwartz seems really excited about it on his Twitter account, which can't help but be endearing. It also continues his weird crusade to play every blue-tinted characters from 90's childhood, playing Leonardo in the new Ninja Turtles series, Dewey in the Ducktales reboot, and he was a Smurf in the Lost Village. While my excitement for the film mainly revolves around the inevitable meltdown of the Sonic fandom, I can't deny this is pretty good casting. Now to see what he actually looks like.


    STICKMAN: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


    MADHERO: As Ben Schwartz said: I'M SONNNNNNNNNNNNIC!


    STICKMAN: Set photos showed Sonic driving a Range Rover or something and I just...this film gonna be a glorious trainwreck.


    LARRY: I don’t really know Ben Schwartz super well. But from what I’ve seen, he is kinda funny. Would make for a good voice role.


    MADHERO: He's great as an annoying douchebag in Parks and Rec, and that at least are some parts of Sonic's characters. He's also a pretty good voice actor, so he's actually a pretty good choice imo.


    STICKMAN: I feel Roger Craig Smith was an obvious choice to make, he's the modern Sonic voice actor and does a great job, but oh wellllll.


    LARRY: This movie clearly has no intention of replicating modern Sonic lol. At least not in actually interesting ways.


    STICKMAN: WHAT'S THE PPOOOINTT. WHY DO VIDEO GAME MOVIES HAVE TO BE THEIR OWN STUPID THING NOBODY ASKED FOOOOR.


    LARRY: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Jim Carrey as Doctor Robotnik has my ticket purchased. This movie could look like the dirtiest turd and I would pay for a ticket.


    MADHERO: I'd have probably gone for Roger Craig Smith as well, but I think Schwartz is a good choice. But hey, I'm just sitting from afar waiting for the bomb to go off


    STICKMAN: I am also waiting for the fireworks but doing so without paying to see the movie. This and Detective Pikachu make 2019 the year of Live Action/CGI mascot video game movies. And I mean...that's a thing?


    MADHERO: 90's video game movies we should've gotten 15 years ago.


    STICKMAN: Can't wait to hear your reasoning for being all on board with a stupid Sonic movie where Green Hill is an American town and Sonic drives an SUV but are also massively opposed to the mere existence of Detective PIkachu, Larry.


    LARRY: Jim. Carrey. Period. Does it look like I’m acknowledging my decision here is rational?


    MADHERO: I'll be sittign from afar, thinking about my former Sonic fan days and laugh.


    STICKMAN: Sonic is dumb and anyone who likes Sonic games is dumb. 


    ALFONSO CUARON DROPS TRAILER FOR NEW FILM ROMA

    As the Summer season draws to a close, we inevitably, as film nerds  start to turn our attention to Oscarbait season. With that potent October-December period approaching rapidly, and the big film festivals gearing up their tantalizing lineups of acclaimed directors and rising talents, we of course, start to get our first look at these potential awards frontrunners. Last episode we talked about Barry Jenkins' 'If Beale Street Could Talk', which is looking very nice indeed...this week we've got our first look at Alfonso Cuaron's next movie, Roma. The director of Children of Men and Gravity takes his time making films, but they tend to come out of it pretty damn well, and this seems to be no exception.


    Promising to be a far more personal and intimate film than his previous two releases, Roma is a black and white, Spanish language production that aims to have a limited theater release (Presumably for awards eligibility) followed by a release on the increasingly robust Netflix, who seem to have their hands on several of the biggest contenders for the coming months. The film is set in 1970s Mexico, and is based on Cuaron's own experiences growing up in a middle class home during an escalating and ultimately bloody clash between government forces and student protesters. The trailer showcases some beautiful visuals, and some of the gritty street-level chaos he previously showcased in the spectacular Children of Men. On a whole this is clearly a smaller scale, niche affair compared to his previous sci-fi blockbuster, Gravity, but it's looking very bit as promising at this moment.


    MADHERO: Man, this was a gorgeous trailer. I honestly didn't know this movie was going to be black and white honestly.


    STICKMAN: I'm always here for black and white films that utilise the contrast to make great visuals.


    MADHERO: It definitely looks to be Cuaron's most personal film, which is funny after such a big film like Gravity. He takes his time, but he always delivers.


    LARRY: Yeah it’s a good trailer. Makes me curious to learn what the actual plot is about considering the trailer does nothing to show me. But hey, it beats black and white waves for 30 seconds.


    STICKMAN: I explained what the premise is, bruh.


    LARRY: Yeah the trailer doesn’t do that. That’s my point.


    STICKMAN: It conveys a mood and hints towards a time of cultural tension.


    MADHERO: Its a bit more interpretative. It’s really weird how slow Cuaron works. I really thought there was something between Children of Men and Gravity, but nope. Then again, the latter took quite a while to get made. Going back to Mexico, to essentially his childhood is gonna be an interesting experience.


    LARRY: Aesthetically it’s nice, but I wanted a few more concrete details. I’m mixed with Cuaron personally, so I’m hoping this return to his roots makes for something less pretentious and more personal.


    STICKMAN: I feel it said plenty without any words, which was cool. But there you go. I love Cuaron, even his Harry Potter film was the best one.


    LARRY: I wasn’t a huge fan of Gravity. But I do like Children of Men and Azkaban.


    MADHERO: To me, Cuaron hasn't gone wrong for me yet. Its gonna be a different ride from him, but I'm sure it'll be amazing.


    ---------------

    MADHERO: Alright, I think that's about it in terms of news. The end of August is upon us, and we actually have an event movie to end the summer with a bang. Just a bummer that event ain't for us. Damn you under-served market who finally get to see themselves on screen! I have nothing for me, a white man!


    STICKMAN: We have an event movie? Is it Godzilla?


    LARRY: I say it’s an event movie for everyone!!


    MADHERO: I'm of course referring to puppets everywhere who finally get to see themselves on screen, and I guess Asian people as well get something nice.


    LARRY: We can all celebrate representation!! Those puppets need love!!


    STICKMAN: #MakePuppetsJizzAgain


    MADHERO: ....Let's talk about the Asian movie first.


    MOVIES

    CRAZY RICH ASIANS

    DIRECTOR: Jon Chu (Jem and the Holograms, Now You See Me 2)

    STARRING: Constance Wu, Henry Golding, Gemma Chan, Michelle Yeoh, Awkwafina, Ken Jeong, Lisa Lu, Chris Pang, Sonoya Mizuno

    SYNOPSIS: Chinese American economics professor Rachel Chu (Wu) accompanies her boyfriend (Golding) to Singapore for his best friend's (Pang) wedding, only to become thrust into the lives of Asia's rich and famous.

    LARRY: Visual splendor and representation? Nice.


    STICKMAN: See, this film isn't not for me because of who it's about, it's not for me because it's a romantic comedy. Looks very nice visually, for sure.


    MADHERO: So as someone who grew partially in Asia, its funny to see this film come to life in such extravagant fashion.


    LARRY: Yeah, it’s a romcom, but after Love, Simon, I’ve come to accept the importance of the genre if it means good representation, and I’m here to support that.


    MADHERO: Yeah, its funny, with the traditional having largely been relegated to Netflix. Apparently they were very interested in distributing this, but the director really wanted a theatrical release


    LARRY: And for good reason.


    STICKMAN: I think it's great these films exist but I'm a lonely man without anyone to hold me at night and I care not for the romance of others.


    LARRY: If that doesn’t summarize Sticky perfectly, I don’t know what does.


    MADHERO: Its basically the Asian version of Black Panther. Its great that it not only does representation well, but that its also a pretty good romantic comedy.


    STICKMAN: I bet it has better CGI than Black Panther.


    MADHERO: Don't need no CG when you have Michelle Yeoh.


    LARRY: How did we get two Akwafina movies this year...?


    MADHERO: Well when you need as much Asian actors as you can, it just sorta happens. Like I said, its not for me, but I'm glad so many people get to see themselves represented. And hey, my sister liked it.


    STICKMAN: Representation is important, films that aren't romantic comedies are more important, though.


    MILE 22

    DIRECTOR: Peter Berg (Deepwater Horizon, Patriots Day)

    STARRING: Mark Wahlberg, John Malkovich, Lauren Cohan, Iko Uwais, Ronda Rousey

    SYNOPSIS: An elite American intelligence officer (Wahlberg), aided by a top-secret tactical command unit, tries to smuggle a mysterious police officer (Uwais) with sensitive information out of Indonesia.

    STICKMAN: The Overwatch movie we've all been waiting for.


    LARRY: Oh hey, Mark Wahlberg.


    MADHERO: I guess the 22 refers to the Rotten Tomatoes score


    STICKMAN: OOHH SHIT B-B-BUURRN. What a perfectly good waste of Iko Uwais.


    LARRY: Now I just wanna rewatch The Raid.


    MADHERO: Mark Wahlberg can play a lot of things. A genius is not one of them. Also wasting Iko Uwais through shitty editing should be a war crime. I saw some clips and its Taken 3 levels of cuts.


    STICKMAN: Disgusting. The Raid 2 is where it's really at. Get that man a John Wick movie stat.


    MADHERO: This is the 4th Peter Berg/Mark Wahlberg joint, and maybe its time to call it quits on this relationship.


    STICKMAN: Mark Wahlberg should try some brighter colours one day. Less black leather, maybe a nice pink number?


    LARRY: A few warm blues. A neon purple?


    MADHERO: Lets eat a Wahlburger and get outta here.


    THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS

    DIRECTOR: Brian Henson (Muppet Christmas Carol, Muppet Treasure Island)

    STARRING: Bill Barretta, Melissa McCarthy, Maya Rudolph, Joel McHale, Elizabeth Banks

    SYNOPSIS: In a world where puppets exist but are reviled by society, puppet private investigator, Phil Phillips (Bill Barretta), reunites with his ex-partner Detective Connie Edwards (Melissa McCarthy) to find a serial killer who murdered Phil's brother and is now targeting the cast members of the 1980s television series The Happytime Gang.

    MADHERO: Oh man, what a journey this has been.


    STICKMAN: If you can call plummeting off a cliff a journey.


    MADHERO; One part of me is amazed this movie is actually coming out. The other is annoyed that it looks kinda bad.


    STICKMAN: The trailers are just so embarrassing and edgy. This is a disaster.


    LARRY: I know this isn’t really clever at all, but yeah, this movie looks really bad.


    STICKMAN: Mellisa McCarthy, like...you want to give her a chance  and not just immediately assume everything she's in sucks? But then...she stars in films like this? It's like a warning sign.


    LARRY: McCarthy self-enables her own shitty spiral of films. She collaborates with similar filmmakers multiple times, and sticks to a relatively similar style of humor in each film.


    MADHERO: I don't think you can accuse of being safe with a project like this, but yeah, not a fan. The original pitch sounded really clever and interesting in that it took a hardboiled noir approach. That seems all gone in favor of way more puppet jizz.


    STICKMAN: We don't get many puppet films, can we like, not make them awful when we do them? Lets make a puppet horror movie where the humans are the monster.


    MADHERO: Stickman, you should probably check out Puppet Master soon.


    ALPHA

    DIRECTOR: Albert Hughes (From Hell, The Book of Eli)

    STARRING: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Leonor Varela, Jens Hulten, Johannes Johanesson

    SYNOPSIS: After a Steppe bison hunting expedition 20,000 years ago in Europe goes awry, a young man (Smit-McPhee) struggles against the elements to find his way home, all the while developing a friendship with a wolf.

    LARRY: Ooh doggies.


    STICKMAN: Oh good another dog movie.


    MADHERO: Boy meets dog meets Ice Age meets The Revenant


    LARRY: What a mixture.


    MADHERO: Apparently this movie is actually pretty good. I get the feeling this probably sat on a shelf and they're only releasing it now to be rid of it


    STICKMAN: Also it looks nice visually but other than that it seems very generic and obviously heavy on the MAN'S BEST FRIEND sentimentality which is very overdone. Marley and BC.


    MADHERO: It does look very pretty in the trailers. Also apparently the actors don’t speak English, which is a nice risky move.


    LARRY: I have a friend who saw it and surprisingly liked it, so I may give it a shot. Not on the top of my list, tho.


    STICKMAN: I figured they weren't speaking English since nobody talks in the trailer apart from an obviously forced in narration.


    MADHERO: That felt very old school. It was weird.


    STICKMAN: Anyway this movie looks okay and it's got doggies in it so.


    A.X.L.

    DIRECTOR: Oliver Daly (directorial debut)

    STARRING: Alex Neustaedter, Becky G, Thomas Jane, Dominic Rains

    SYNOPSIS: A.X.L. is a top-secret, robotic dog who develops a special friendship with Miles (Neustaedter) and will go to any length to protect his new companion.

    MADHERO: The first man/dog relationship? FUCK THAT! GIVE ME ROBO-DOG!


    STICKMAN: The sequel to Alpha, but like, the 8th installment in the series where things got a bit out of hand. And they end up in space or whatever.


    LARRY: On the other hand....... I’m just surprised the name AXL made it past the writer’s room.


    STICKMAN: Shoulda called it Bark and BYTE.


    MADHERO: This again feels like someone that sat on a shelf and is only now coming out to be rid of it. Also no surprise its coming from Global Road, a studio that's begging to die.


    STICKMAN: I mean the robot dog is cute I guess. I'm getting Monster Truck vibes though.


    LARRY: It’s pretty ferocious looking. Not very cute.


    STICKMAN: Nah. You shouldn't judge a robot by its weaponry Larry, did you learn nothing from The Iron Giant.


    MADHERO: Its very much a grown up Monster Trucks, but it probably wasn't as pointlessly expensive.


    STICKMAN: You better believe we got sick bike tricks, robot dogs, you betcha. Don't even worry about it.


    MADHERO: You can either watch prehistoric doggo's or future doggo's. What a time to be alive.


    LARRY: I choose no doggos, thanks.


    STICKMAN: I'm really more of a cat person.


    ---------------

    MADHERO: Alright, no dogs then. Then maybe we'll go for MOVIE OF THE WEEK


    STICKMAN: OoOoOOHH? WHAT DOG FILMS DO WE HAVE HERE THEN?


    MADHERO: I don't think there's any dogs involved  in my movie. Don't really know if its also the case for you guys.


    LARRY: There are....I think no dogs. I honestly cannot recall.


    MADHERO: Maybe they're hidden under all those hoods. I guess that's kind of a tease of what you're talking about, so maybe you go first.


    LARRY: Wowwwwwwwww. Alright, well here goes nothing...


    MOVIE OF THE WEEK

    LARRY: My MOTW is the ridiculously spelled BlacKkKlansman, the latest Spike Lee joint. As I’m sure we all know, Lee can be a bit hit or miss because of how politically volatile and strongly stylistic his filmmaking is. However, I can attest that this is one of his better joints, and arguably a return to form to the nuanced, powerful days of “She’s Gotta Have It” and “Do The Right Thing.”

    Naturally, a story about a black cop infiltrating the KKK seems to be pretty straightforward, but believe it not, Lee doesn’t paint one side as a clear hero, bringing multiple sides of the discussion into the light, from cops, to Jews, to black protestors, and not shying away from seeing the shades of gray. Beyond this, there is also incredibly poignant, almost disturbing juxtaposition that makes for some of the most intense and captivating scenes of the year. Beyond this, it has an excellent cast, smart cinematography, pitch-perfect pacing, and an ending that, while a bit too indulgent in my opinion, will surely leave people speechless. Along with Blindspotting, this is a film that takes its politics and uses them to portray an interesting, hilarious, and action-packed narrative.


    MADHERO: Ooooooooh, things about to get spicy in here.


    LARRY: I mean...it’s good. It’s very good.


    STICKMAN: I can't work out if this is a comedy or not. Trailer gave off comedy vibes but I've been hearing a lot of people talk about how shocking and upsetting it is.


    LARRY: It has comedic elements for sure, but it is rooted in drama.


    MADHERO: I figured as much. A lot of Spike's movies still have some comedy in them. Do the Right Thing is also a drama steeped with a lot of comedy.


    STICKMAN: I guess the drama just tilted on the comedic angle a lot.


    LARRY: Yes, especially when it comes to David Duke.


    MADHERO: Speaking of the Dukester. How's Topher Grace? I hear he and Adam Driver might be up for Best Supporting Actor.


    STICKMAN: Venom himself up for an Oscar? What crazy times.


    LARRY: I think Driver comes much closer than Grace. No question.


    MADHERO: I'm gonna see this film as soon as I can. I don't think it'll have the same response as it'll have in the States, but that's stating the obvious.


    STICKMAN: I'm pretty sure it's not screening at my cinema but then what else is new. Guess I'll wait and seeee.


    LARRY: Hopefully you’ll get the chance to see it!!


    STICKMAN: SPEAKING OF...uhh....what's your film Mad.


    MADHERO: Well. Its up to me to bring it back to the mainstream and go for something the whole world can enjoy. Does a movie like Avengers Infinity War even need introduction? Chances are that you've probably seen it, enjoyed all the memes and are chomping to bits for the eventual Avengers 4 to come in 2019.

    Its been a film where we had to dedicate an entire spoiler special to, and for good reason. A lot happens in Infinity War, and it really does feel  like its the endgame, even when we'll get a whole other batch of Marvel movies afterwards. It breaks so many rules in the movie playbook: it doesn't really have a set protagonist/main character, and it ends in a really unexpected fashion. So by this point, you already know whether you're with this film or not. Its gonna be impenetrable for anyone that's not been on the MCU ride, but for the millions that are ,its a great time that leaves you begging for more.


    STICKMAN: Never heard of it.


    LARRY: Avengers? Sounds like some arthouse indie.


    MADHERO: Oh. Well, guys, there's this thing called the MCU. There's 20 of them, and you need to see at least half to get this movie sooooo..... GOOD LUCK!


    LARRY: Meh, I’ll pass.


    STICKMAN: I'll have to check it out some time I dunno. Not really my thing.


    MADHERO: Well when you do, lemme know what you think. These films are really funny, but this one is definitely more of a bummer that won't make you feel so good, but it has some great action along the way.


    STICKMAN: I'll stick to the DCEU I thin-I CAN'T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT.


    LARRY: I mean, it’s not like this film has both John Brolin AND RDJ. I mean, that may make me reconsider.


    MADHERO: Quite a few actors, yeah. Too many some would say. Anyway, what's your MOTW Sticky? Is it something we've all heard of?


    STICKMAN: OH LOOK, IT'S A QUIET PLACE. The hit horror movie of 2018....well....it's a hit movie anyway, whether or not you consider it horror, or merely an intense sci-fi drama is up for debate, and the real hit HORROR of the year so far has to be Hereditary...but...there's one thing you can't deny about A Quiet Place, which is that it's very good indeed.

    Starring that guy from The Office and Emily Blunt as parents trying to protect their children, both born and unborn in a post-apocalyptic America, where aliens that hunt based on even the smallest detectable sounds have invaded and wiped out most of the population. Those that survive have to live in basically total silence, making for a very unique and constantly tense cinematic experience, which made for a fantastic, oddly surreal time at the cinema, and I'm sure will still work well now it's on the ol' home videos. Again, as a horror film it's somewhat lacking, I feel, but as a drama, and a high concept sci-fi film? It's really great stuff, and well worth a watch, providing you can deal with the tension, and the feels.


    LARRY: So, yeah, this movie is damn good.


    MADHERO: Oh hey, I've heard about this movie, which may or may not be good considering you're meant to be quiet.


    STICKMAN: It's all very hush hush. But not like the movie, Hush.


    MADHERO: It remains really weird that it was John Krasinski directed this film. It’s definitely something you expect from a new genre filmmaker. Not Jim of the Office.


    LARRY: Yeah, I agree that this movie makes for a very unique filmgoing experience. Actually forces the audience to shut up.


    STICKMAN: He does a good job in the directing seat, but also gives a great lead performance. He's a real go gette.r that Jim.


    LARRY: I absolutely loved Krasinski in this film. Hard to imagine him as macho but then you give him a beard


    STICKMAN: Now he's a real daddy type.


    MADHERO: Slight weakness to nails tho.


    STICKMAN: Oof. Chekov's Nail. But yeah, just imagine The Last of Us with the sound turned off and you've got a good idea of this movies tone.


    LARRY: Perfect description, honestly. Except no infection and zombies and stuffz


    -----------------

    MADHERO: Cool. I think that about wraps up everything. Its time to go back to school as Hollywood faces the September Slump. Guess we'll just go to this not at all creepy Sunday School.


    LARRY: Uh oh


    STICKMAN: There are Nun scarier schools than that.


    MADHERO: Well its either that or....... damn.... September Slump is gonna make this difficult to discuss. We'll make it work though. Laaaaaaaaater


    STICKMAN: INSERT JUMPSCARE HERE GOODBYE


    LARRY: GOTTA TURN MY VOLUME DOWN OH WAIT BYE

  • The Austin Experience and the Future!

    1 week ago

    Brunty023

    So, it has been two weeks since I touched down at Austin, TX!

    And it has been a week since RTX Austin!


    To perfectly sum my first ever experience in the US, I can honestly say this...


    IT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!
    Everything about the eleven days I was there was a whole new world!


    It took a while to get used to how the US does things, but it was legendary!

    RTX Austin was absolutely amazing to experience the main event at where it all began!

    Now a 4x RTX Guardian, because of 3x RTX Sydney Guardian and now the 1x RTX Austin Guardian!


    It was an absolute pleasure to be a Guardian at my first RTX Austin and it will not be the last!


    BECAUSE...

    This is my Volunteering Cycle for 2019...


    - RTX Austin (Round 2 for Guardian FOR SURE!!)

    - RTX London (if I wasn't moving to Melbourne, I would have done it this year. BUT, the plan is to do it next year)

    - PAX Australia (because I still have a few left in me and it's still awesome)

    That's what 2019 looks like and I can't wait to do it all again next year at Austin!


    LET'S GO!!

  • Doom Eternal Gameplay Showcase

    1 week ago

    HAKURU_15 Triple G

    Holy fucking shit that was metal as fuck. RIP AND TEAR MOTHER FUCKER!

    DOOM ETERNAL - Full Gameplay Reveal Presentation | QuakeCon 2018

  • RTX 2018

    1 week ago

    r3mus3 Cat Lady

    I'm so glad I was able to make it out to my first RTX. It was more than I could've have imagined. Seeing my first Rooster Teeth personality, I literally shook as I asked Miles Luna and Ellie Main for a photo. My nerves definitely got the best of me. And rightfully so, as this was my first interaction with any RT people since I started watching RT content in 2011.


    While waiting in line to enter the exhibit hall on Friday, I was next to two very lovely people. Jennifer and Anthony were very kind, gave me some tips and tricks. We traded rainbow goldfish and nature valley bars while we waited. And then in queue for the first panel I attended, I met Ben and Steven. These guys were fun to hang out with. We ended up playing some Jack Box on Steven's Switch while we waited to enter Hall 1. Luckily, the panels they were going to were pretty much the same as me and so we ended up hanging out for most of RTX. I'm not a terribly shy person in general. But I definitely felt like I could push my boundaries of meeting people since I know I had much in common with the rest of the attendees. 


    The only regrettable thing all RTX was that I never got a photo with Anthony and Jenn or Ben and Steven. I hope that next year we all see each other again, and I can finally get a photo with my new friends. Guess, I have more to look forward to next year. 


    4Tg7QzZ.jpgaQG0nmA.jpgPAjTApF.jpgD9AUaaV.jpg

  • Hi I'm Masterchief

    2 weeks ago

    HAKURU_15 Triple G

    But no all seriousness tho I still enjoy cosplaying as Chief in classic Mark VI


    Masterchief - Smash Sydney 2018

  • At the Screwvies: Episode 114

    2 weeks ago

    g1Features

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    MADHERO: Oh bother, it looks  like we're in the  tailend of the summer already. That sure went by quicker than expected. We're seeing the last summer movies popping up to see if they can get some of that scrum diddly munny. And hey, its surprisingly packed with content, be it Disney playing with your feels, giant sharks and passe internet memes. Everyone is represented.


    STICKMAN: “When you become an adult, all summers waste by, as do days, months, years...life as we know it. It's all passing as by and we're never going to accomplish all our dreams before we die.” - Winnie the Pooh.


    LARRY: Man I didn't realize Pooh was such a tormented figure...


    MADHERO: Its usually delivered with more whimsy. This is more something the Meg would tell after it chomps you, but enough about that.


    NEWS

    LUCASFILM ANNOUNCES CAST OF STAR WARS EPISODE IX. CARRIE FISHER OFFICIALLY PART OF THE CAST.

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    Its that time of the year again: another Star Wars movie is officially in production. No, not the Last Jedi remake everyone (actually no one) is craving, but Episode IX, which releases in December 2019, giving us a nice break after Solo, not that too many saw it. Anyway, while plot details are kept under wraps. We have returning director JJ Abrams join Twitter and reveal a behind the scenes picture, and we got some word of the casting. The usual suspects are of course there (Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Adam Driver etc.) with the cast now being joined by Keri Russell (The Americans), Richard E. Grant (Logan, Game of Thrones) and relative newcomer Naomi Ackie.


    Mark Hamill, despite all the conspiracies, will be in the film as well, presumably to annoy Kylo Ren a bit as a ghost, as well as Billy Dee Williams returning as Lando. The big question was of course going to be Carrie Fisher, who died in late 2016. Instead of going with CG (a la Rogue One) or recasting, the film will use previously unreleased footage of The Force Awakens to put her in the film.  How seamless this'll be remains to be seen and it’s going to be quite the challenge, but its a great last tribute for her and her iconic presence.  More will likely be revealed around the year, but this seems like a good start.


    STICKMAN: Woooo


    MADHERO: JJ Abrams is on twitter and that's at least one good thing to that hellscape. And I guess this is nice as well


    STICKMAN: JJ Abrams' Twitter is just a Cloverfield sequel in disguise.


    LARRY: I'm happy to see they're at least trying to give Leia the ending she deserves


    MADHERO: The story was very much that Force was going to be Han's story, Jedi Luke's, and IX's would be Leia's. Obviously a lot has to be reconfigured to make that work. We don't know how much extra footage there is to work with, but I admire what they're doing for sure in regarding Fisher's legacy.


    LARRY: Yeah, woulda been reeeeeeeeally bad had they CGI'd it. CGI Leia in Rouge One was really weird for me.


    STICKMAN: I don't really see how they can't use CGI, but I guess the face at least will be authentic? I dunno.


    MADHERO: I think it'd be weird. It was weird in Rogue One and to use if for someone that recently deceased would've just felt wrong. Don't think response would be good, even if it would've been understandable.


    STICKMAN: After Last Jedi I can't say I'm particularly excited for a continuation of these films, but hey ho, I'm sure I'll be hearing about it 100% of my time on planet earth in the coming months towards release anyway.


    LARRY: That's the spirit!


    MADHERO: Well its got ya boi back. Will get his own emoji and everything.  Will also be neat to see Billy Dee Williams back, and I'm super curious about Russell's role because she's an great actress.


    STICKMAN: #JJAbrams forever.


    LARRY: Personally I'm excited for Episode IX. Russell is a great actress, happy to see her included. Billy Dee is gonna rock socks as Lando, and I'm also curious to see how Luke's storyline will be concluded as ghost Luke. All in all, lots to look forward to.


    MADHERO: Hes gonna annoy Kylo Ren to death and just chug all the space milk he can find.


    STICKMAN: All I know is with two massive saga-ending films releasing in the same year, in addition to Frozen 2....Disney gonna be rolling in fucking money.


    WARNER BROS SELLS ANDY SERKIS’ JUNGLE BOOK ADAPTATION MOWGLI TO NETFLIX. SERKIS TO MAKE ANIMAL FARM ADAPTATION FOR NETFLIX

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    Over the last year, it's fair to say Netflix have been  starting to show their true financial muscle in terms of greenlight...and even acquiring big budget or high profile film releases exclusively for their service. the most recent and notable of which was The Cloverfield Paradox from Paramount. Now it's the turn of Warner Bros to quickly drop and sell off a big budget project of their own, and 

    it seems like good news for Andy Serkis at the very least.


    The first news to come out was that Warner Bros had dropped the rights to their take on a live action/CGI hybrid Jungle Book adaptation, Mowgli. That entered pre-production around the same time as Disney's massively successful live action/CGI remake of The Jungle Book, and has lived in its looming shadow ever since. Several name changes and delays later, and Warner Bros seem to be done with it. It's now coming exclusively to Netflix, with its release date pushed back to sometime in 2019. Further good news for Andy is that Netflix has also greenlit his longtime passion project, which is a live action/CGI motion capture remake of Animal Farm, the seminal George Orwell work most well known in the cinematic world for its problematic 1954 animated adaptation. With Netflix in charge, hopefully this long-planned movie will be a bit more true to the original novel, but either way, Netflix is now the home of all things Andy Serkis, it seems.


    MADHERO: I don't know whether to feel good or bad about Mowgli being moved to Netflix, but it probably saved WB a big dud and a smudge on Serkis' directing career so maybe its for the best.


    STICKMAN: I'd imagine even if it is good, it would've been a bust financially.


    LARRY: Yeah I agree. "An actually dark and gritty Jungle Book" probably doesn't sell tickets.


    MADHERO: Even if the original trailer was impressive, the Disney version loomed so large that Netflix was probably the best option. I do hope the film is actually good as well. Its got a great cast and visuals looked impressive.


    LARRY: If anything, it coming to Netflix gives it more accessibility, not to mention a theatrical run on top of that so Serkis' work can still be appreciated on screen.


    STICKMAN: Andy Serkis' directorial debut got a positive reception even though it looked sentimental as fuuuuck. At least this is more in the wheelhouse you'd expect from the guy.


    MADHERO: Netflix continues to be a bit of a dumping ground for movies that studios don't really know what to do with (Annihilation, Cloverfield Paradox). Hopefully this one is more of the former


    STICKMAN: And how about that Animal Farm, eh.


    MADHERO: That's gonna be a weird one, since that's a pretty simple story that I'm not sure needs the live-action treatment, but I trust Serkis and I'd imagine he could play a pretty good Napoleon.


    STICKMAN: I'm excited for that performance mostly.


    LARRY: I'm hella excited for it, tbh. I'm always here for an Orwell adaptation.


    STICKMAN: And at least the CIA aren't involved this time...THAT WE KNOW OF.


    COEN BROTHERS’ ANTHOLOGY SERIES BALLAD OF BUSTER SCRUGGS BECOMES ANTHOLOGY MOVIE INSTEAD. TAKES PART IN VENICE FILM FESTIVAL

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    When the Coen Brothers make moves, the film world listens. Originally meant to be an anthology television series for Netflix, "The Ballad of Buster Scruggs," is now a feature-length film that will make its premiere at the heralded Venice Film Festival. The film, starring Tim Blake Nelson as Scruggs and set along the Western frontier, will retain its anthology structure throughout its running time at a 132 minute length. After premiering at the festival, it is set to hit Netflix alongside a theatrical run for awards consideration.


    "Scruggs" joins a long lineup of Netflix acquisitions hitting it big at Venice this year, including Alfonso Cuaron's return to Spanish-spoken filmmaking "Roma," Paul Greengrass' account of the 2011 Norway terrorist attacks in "22 July," and a newly restored version of the once uncompleted Orson Welles project "The Other Side of the World." Venice is looking to be embracing Netflix films, and streaming platforms in general, with Amazon Studios and Luca Guadagnino's "Suspiria" remake also hitting Venice. This is in stark contrast to Cannes, who have recently taken the controversial stance to ban entries that are not theatrically distributed in France, which many have seen as a direct response against Netflix. Either way, we'll see if Venice's acceptance of Netflix will pay off, as this year's festival race is capped with countless big players, and will for sure be one to remember.


    STICKMAN: Is it bad I'm kinda disappointed this isn't a TV show any more. Seems like a lot of stuff from this is gonna be cut forever, and I wanted to see a Coen brother take on a TV shoooow


    MADHERO: I'm kinda mixed on it. I'd have been very interested in what a Coen anthology series would've looked like, and making it a movie seems fine to me, cause they're great filmmakers, but you always go and ask what could've been.


    LARRY: Fair point. But 132 minutes is a loooooooong time. You can fit a lot in there.


    MADHERO: Yeah. With it just being over 2 hours, you can't help but wonder how much was cut. While Fargo the tv show is very much its own thing separate from the Coen brothers, it does give a bit of a glimpse of what it might've looked like  as a tv show.


    STICKMAN: Love me some Fargo, also love me some Alfonso and Greengrass...and Suspiria. This is the rare film festival that is speaking to me before it even starts.


    LARRY: This year's festival circuit looks amaaaaaaaaaazing. And I'm hella glad to see Venice embracing Netflix projects too.


    MADHERO: Yeah, tons of great films coming to Venice. That's usually the start of Oscar talk alongside Toronto. But we're getting new Greengrass and Cuaron,  but also directors like Yorgos Lanthimos and Damien Chazelle's First Man.


    LARRY: Lanthimos' new film looks crazy. Emma Stone and Rachel Weisz, Victorian drama, lots of weirdly wide angles.


    MADHERO: I mean, its Lanthimos. Crazy is what you get. Suspiria is gonna be a tense ass 2.5 hours.


    STICKMAN: After Killing of a Sacred Deer I can't say I'm super interessteed. The rest I'm all into. We're all huge La La Land fans here, right?


    MADHERO: It is interesting to see this festival embrace streaming ventures as much as they do when you compare it to Cannes. Does make you wonder what we'll see come Oscar time. Mudbound got some nods, but could we see a Netflix Best Picture film nominee soon?


    STICKMAN: It'll happen eventually. Maybe not this year though.


    LARRY: Mudbound was one of the best films of 2017, so let's hope so. Netflix does good stuff. It deserves recognition.


    STICKMAN: The Cloverfield Paradox's campaign for Best Picture starts HERE.


    LARRY: Eh, not that.


    BEN AFFLECK TO DIRECT MOVIE ON THE MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR MCDONALD’S MONOPOLY SCAM. MATT DAMON TO STAR

    matt-damon-ben-affleck-mcdonalds-monopol

    Chances are that at some point last week, someone in your feed shared the pretty damn wild Daily Beast article chronicling the life of Jerome Jacobsen, an ex-cop who through his job as head of security at a marketing firm managed to get extremely rare pieces of McDonalds' Monopoly game: pieces he used to scam McDonalds to about 24 million dollars worth of prizes. The story involves a network of mobsters, psychics, strip-club owners, drug traffickers and a family of Mormons. It all ended in FBI's Operation: Final Answer, which is a pretty great name. The article is wild, and definitely worth a read if you have the time.


    This story was a lot, so naturally a massive bidding war ensued for the rights. Fox eventually won to the tune of 1 million, beating Warner Bros and Netflix in the process. Ben Affleck is now in line to direct the film, with his good buddy Matt Damon in line to play Jacobson, and Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick (Deadpool) are writing the script. This has all the ingredients to be something amazing. While Affleck is more in the news for being tired of Batman, his dumb phoenix tattoo, and the disappointment of his last movie Live by Night, he's still a pretty great director with 3 great films under his belt, and its nice to have him just behind the camera this time. I can't wait to see this real life Coen Brothers movie to hit the big screen in 2019/2020.


    STICKMAN: MCDONALDS, MCDONALDS, MCDONALDS.


    MADHERO: But we have food at home.


    STICKMAN: Sweet memes.


    LARRY: Is that a John Mulaney reference? Because if so, good work.


    MADHERO: It’s an reference to an internet alignment chart, but sure. Let's go with that. Anyway this story is pretty wild.


    LARRY: Yeah this is one of those weird things you hear about and then immediately forget about. Remember when Tetris became a movie?


    STICKMAN: I can't wait to see if this film can get the image rights to McDonalds AND Monpoly for this heist movie where they both get fucked over.


    MADHERO: Not to mention Hasbro, who own the Monopoly liscense. There's quite a few hurdles to go through, but either way there's still a really weird story there. Also I fail to see what Tetris has to do with this.


    LARRY: I’m saying that this is weird and merely a blip, like the Tetris news. Weird projects get made and then forgotten about. Nice to see Affleck doing a new project tho


    STICKMAN: Remember Ben Affleck? What happened to that guy.


    MADHERO: But there’s actually a great story here, so its not like Tetris. Did you read the article, Larry? Live by Night was a bit of a dud both critically and commercially, but he still has 3 very good movies under his belt.


    LARRY: Yeah I read it. I also read once they were developing a movie about the woman who sued McDonalds over the hot coffee she spilt on herself.


    STICKMAN: Maybe she can have a crossover in this.


    MADHERO: And then it all turns out to be a part of The Founder Cinematic Universe and Michael Keaton recruits everyone to take down Burger King.


    LARRY: Get that made, dammit.


    STICKMAN: LET'S DO IT, MOVING ON, apologies to Matt Damon, we ran out of time.


    RYAN REYNOLDS TO PRODUCE AND POSSIBLY REVIVE A NEW HOME ALONE REVIVAL TITLED STONED ALONE

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    Remember Home Alone? The cherished Christmas family classic about a little boy left behind by his family, and having to ward off burglars and shit? Well...what if instead of a child, it was Ryan Reynolds, and instead of going on charming escapades with burglars and church and shit, he was getting stoned off his ass? Interested?


    Well...I present to you STONED ALONE, a R rated spiritual successor for Fox, who own the franchise. Keeping the home invasion theme but adding an adult and heaps of that sweet sweet 'Mary Jane', Ryan Reynolds will potentially play a 20 year old (Yes, I know) stoner who gets left behind by his family when they go on a ski trip, and gets baked instead. He's also producing the film, and the director of the upcoming, reasonably well received 'Never Goin' Back' is set to direct. This...sure is a film project? It has the potential to turn out fun in a dumb way, but it's just baffling we even got to the point where a weed-centric reboot of Home Alone became a thing to begin with.


    LARRY: Oh wow we actually went with this.


    MADHERO: As many a wee lad of the 90's, I grew up watching the Home Alone movies on home video and all I can really say to this is: fucking what now?


    STICKMAN: Why couldn't they get Mcahaheleey KAlukin back for this, I'm sure he's a massive pothead now.


    LARRY: What is the plot even gonna be? Is Ryan Reynolds gonna talk to animals again?


    STICKMAN: He's gonna be Deadpool but ruder, cruder, and without access to a time machine.


    MADHERO: Culkin's too busy filming the Pagemaster NES game review with AVGN. I can maybe buy this with Culkin, but Reynolds are a 20's something is bridge too far.


    LARRY: It would be SO MUCH BETTER with Culkin.


    MADHERO: It kinda feels like something that gets left on the cutting room floor of National Lampoon, or maybe a Funny of Die skit.


    STICKMAN: Or even worse, one of those EPIC MOVIE style films. What if...Home Alone but WEED? BWAHAHAHA. And then Batman turns up and does Gangham Style.


    LARRY: I don’t see how this film can work, to be honest. But I’m sure Seth Rogen is gonna get attached and everything will be fine.


    STICKMAN: Fuckin weed dude, ahuh huh huh huh uh uh u uh uh


    MADHERO: Ok, lets not go that far. Those films died a deserved death. I can't really see how this would work as a full length film, let alone a Home Alone revival, but maybe they'll deliver the next Harold and Kumar or something.


    STICKMAN: De Niro for Stoned Alone. He plays a 20 year old pothead. Stick a baseball cap on him  and nobody will notice the age gap.


    MOONLIGHT DIRECTOR BARRY JENKINS RELEASES DEBUT TRAILER FOR JAMES BALDWIN ADAPTATION “IF BEALE STREET COULD TALK”

    Mah boi Barry is back, y'all. After taking the indie world by storm with his 2016 Best Picture winner, "Moonlight," writer/director Barry Jenkins is returning with his new film, "If Beale Street Could Talk," and its first trailer has officially dropped!


    Based on a novel by acclaimed black author James Baldwin (whose voice is prominently featured in the trailer through voiceover), it tells the story of Tish and Fonny, a young black couple, and the struggles they face when Tonny is falsely accused of rape and goes to prison. It's not clear how closely the film will follow the novel, but what we do know, based on the trailer, that it will certainly feature many emotional highs and lows. The cast is filled to the brim with talent, from Regina King and Brian Tyree Henry to Dave Franco and Diego Luna, and the trailer looks to continue Barry Jenkins' career of exploring the black experience on film with exquisite cinematography. Here's to another rousing success when it premieres at TIFF this year.


    STICKMAN: I have no idea what I watched but it was lovely.


    MADHERO: I can't say much about the story since I haven't read the book, but my god, this trailer really was beautiful to look at.


    STICKMAN: That brick pavement/house shot though. Moonlight was a fuckin outstanding movie, not to mention pretty devastating.


    MADHERO: Its the same cinematographer from Moonlight, James Laxton, and that film also found beauty in the normal and even decrepit.


    LARRY: The cinematography looks to use a lot of the same techniques and color tones of Moonlight. Lots of darker lighting and muted tones. My favorite shot personally is in the train station.


    STICKMAN: Let's not forget the 50,000 slow motion smoking shots. That's his thing I guess. We all have our kinks.


    LARRY: Very a e s t h e t i c


    MADHERO: It seems a tad brighter than Moonlight, but I may be misremembering sone of it. This is a film you know is going to get major play come Oscar time, which is probably why its heading to Toronto. It'll be very interesting to see Jenkins tackle a period piece after Moonlight, which felt 

    almost timeless in a weird way.


    STICKMAN: Moonlight covered a child growing into a man and yet felt lost in time simultaneously. So yeah, period is a weird choice but I trust hiiiim.


    LARRY: I’m just excited to see a black artist tackle the work of someone considered one of the most brilliant black authors and writers...ever. I’ve read a lot of Baldwin’s work and it’s incredible. Not the first thing I’d pick to translate to film, but leave it to Barry.


    STICKMAN: Always Bet on Barry.


    MADHERO: I have not read his work because I'm a uncultured swine, but I understand his importance in African American history.


    STICKMAN: I am not familiar with the work buuuut that means the film feels very mysterious to me and I'm kinda into that. Let's all get Breakfast at TIFFanies.


    LARRY: It’s gonna be a ridiculously diverse season, lemme tell ya.


    -------------------

    MADHERO: Speaking of an incredibly diverse season, that's what we have if you wanna go to the theaters. Its got a little bit of everything. Jason Statham fighting a giant shark, Disney playing with your nostalgia of things you love, a Spike Lee joint and even......A YA ADAPTATION?! REALLY?! IN 2018! Dang


    STICKMAN: Alright, who messed with the space time continuum.


    LARRY: I’ll take End of the Summer for 200.


    MADHERO: Alright. This boy inspired by the author's son is now all grown up and played by Obi Wan Kenobi in this new Disney movie.


    LARRY: WHAT IS CHRISTOPHER ROBIN


    MOVIES

    CHRISTOPHER ROBIN

    DIRECTOR: Marc Forster (World War Z, All I See Is You)

    STARRING: Ewan McGregor, Hayley Atwell, Jim Cummings, Brad Garrett, Toby Jones, Peter Capaldi, Nick Mohammed, Sophie Okonedo

    SYNOPSIS: Christopher Robin (McGregor) is now all grown up and has lost all sense of imagination. Pooh and his friends from the Hundred Acre Wood re-enter Christopher's life to help him find it again.

    LARRY: 200 in the bagggggg Anyway I heard this is good if you have a soul.


    STICKMAN: That seems like a shitty stance to make but there you go. Maybe people are fed up of Disney's factory made nostalgia sentimentality bullshit.


    MADHERO: Boy this film is seeing some division between critics and audiences, that's for damn sure. Critics seem much more mixed on it, but audiences that have seen it seem to really like it.


    STICKMAN: Cinema audiences eat up Disney's shit like it's fine dining so that's probably why. Usually critics do too, so I dunno what happened here.


    LARRY: Apparently the first 10 min are just reeeeeeeeally sad and nostalgic and it’s got all the feels. It wears its heart on its sleeve, I guess.


    STICKMAN: Gosh where have I seen that before.


    MADHERO: Someone's being cranky. Maybe Sticky needs a Pooh bear in his life to deliver some folksy simpleminded wisdom


    LARRY: Still waiting for my Paddington vs. Pooh cage match.


    STICKMAN: I dunno, usually the reviews for these kinda films are through the roof for the same reasons audiences enjoy them, but not this time, something obviously went wrong, and it's not just YOU DON'T HAVE A SOUL DISNEY NO MAKE YOU CRY.


    LARRY: It was just a joke, Stix lol


    MADHERO: Feels hard to say whether its genuine since I haven't seen it. I probably will with the family though. I loved Winnie the Pooh back in the day, and this probably ain't no Toy Story 3, but it might hit some similar beats. That or you can be a total Eeyore about it.


    STICKMAN: I shall passssss, if you can believe it.


    THE MEG

    DIRECTOR: Jon Turteltaub (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, Last Vegas)

    STARRING: Jason Statham, Li Bingbinb, Rainn Wilson, Ruby Rose, Winston Chao, Cliff Curtis

    SYNOPSIS: After escaping an attack by what he claims was a 70-foot shark, Jonas Taylor (Statham) must confront his fears to save those trapped in a sunken submersible.

    MADHERO: And now for something completely different.


    LARRY: WAIT THE JEOPARDY BIT UHMMMM 400


    STICKMAN: The only thing in JEOPARDY IS JASON STATHAM IN THIS MOVIE.


    MADHERO: Look man, I only know so much about American gameshows and that's all I had. Now lets talk about Jason Statham fighting a giant prehistoric shark.


    STICKMAN: It sure is a film, could be fun and entertaining, could be awful. The trailers suggest it could go either way, and nobody's seen it yet.


    MADHERO: I feel like this movie is getting a lot more hyped than something like this normally would. Maybe all those years of Sharknado releases have made us soft on shark movies.


    LARRY: I have yet to see why people are that engaged with it, but if it’s silly fun then I’ll have silly fun.


    STICKMAN: Sharknado, of course, on its sixth and "final" installment this month. Which will win the hearts of shark movie lovers this SUMMER.


    MADHERO: Has Sharknado had Megalodons yet? It probably has, but I really don't care.


    STICKMAN: The Meg is a weird film to be made in a post Sharknado world...shark movies are kinda the thing of low budget TV  fare these days. But here we have THE STATH in IMAX fighting a absolute unit.


    LARRY: He better punch the shark


    STICKMAN: He will. I'm sure. I will say, this film has the best use of "Opening Wide" on a poster in cinema history.


    MADHERO: The posters for this film in general have been great. Props to the marketing team.


    THE SPY WHO DUMPED ME

    DIRECTOR: Susanna Fogel (Life Partners)

    STARRING: Mila Kunis, Kate McKinnon, Sam Heughan, Hasan Minjai, Justin Theroux, Gillian Anderson

    SYNOPSIS: Audrey and Morgan (Kunis, McKinnon) are best friends who unwittingly become entangled in an international conspiracy when one of the women discovers the boyfriend who dumped her (Theroux) was actually a spy.

    LARRY: My parents say this yesterday and said it was a clunker. Apparently it’s gratuitously violent


    MADHERO: O hey, there's Larry's parents' mini review. Also that's a shame. Going from reviews, it sounds like it wasn't really able to get the tone right between action and comedy.


    STICKMAN: The Evil Dead of romantic spy comedies.


    LARRY: A thumb gets cut off apparently and my mother just can’t stop saying how much she hated that scene.


    STICKMAN: Your parents should do this show instead of us.


    MADHERO: I mean, I've probably seen worse, but I guess if its not what you expect, it can be pretty odd. And violence like that can be really funny if its played for laughs. I hear it just kinda loses steam and falls prey to improv.


    STICKMAN: I find comedies with excessive, realistic violence to be an odd combo.


    LARRY: It sucks too cuz I like Mila Kunis and Kate McKinnon. Sucks to see them in a stinker that’s kinda meant to be a vehicle for them.


    MADHERO: I guess you're better off renting Spy.


    LARRY: Ew No. That movie is overrated and bad.


    STICKMAN: Johnny English is the real MVP. Spectre was a good romantic horror, at least.


    LARRY: 600. Lets keep the bit going.


    MADHERO: This Spike Lee joint starring Denzel's son tells the crazy true story of a black man infiltrating the KKK, and no, its not the Chappelle sketch.


    STICKMAN: DJANGO UNCHAINED. Wait, this isn't 2013. FUCK


    BLACKKKLANSMAN

    DIRECTOR: Spike Lee (Da Sweet Blood of Jesus, Chi-Raq)

    STARRING: John David Washington, Adam Driver, Laura Harrier, Topher Grace, Corey Hawkins

    SYNOPSIS: Ron Stallworth (Washington), an African-American police officer from Colorado, successfully manages to infiltrate the local Ku Klux Klan and become the head of the local chapter.

    STICKMAN: Oh shiiiiiit, this looks pretty coooool.


    MADHERO: This movie looks wild and I'm so fucking here for it.


    LARRY: Some fo’ real, fo’ real shit. Topher Grace as David Duke. The best supporting actor race begins NOW.


    STICKMAN: This is gonna be so controversial when it comes out and I'm  here for this.


    MADHERO: That was not something I saw coming. But yeah, I'm mainly ready for this to turn some heads. Spike Lee can be a bit of a wildcard, but Jordan Peele may have given him a proper projectile. Plus this is one of those crazy ass stories that you need to see on screen.


    STICKMAN: I find Spike Lee hit and miss, but this is looking like a real hit. Good luck spelling the name though.


    LARRY: Looks to have solid performances and a multi-faceted story. Let’s hope it works. Also Adam Driver as a guy pretending to be a Klan member is a hilarious aesthetic.


    STICKMAN: Adam Driver as anything is a hilarious aesthetic.


    MADHERO: This is definitely going to be in the conversation come Oscar time.


    THE DARKEST MINDS

    DIRECTOR: Jennifer Yuh Nelson (Kung Fu Panda 2 + 3)

    STARRING: Amandla Stenberg, Mandy Moore, Gwendoline Christie, Harris Dickinson, Skylan Brooks, Bradley Whitford

    SYNOPSIS: Imprisoned by an adult world that now fears everyone under 18, a group of teens (Stenberg, Dickinson, Brooks) form a resistance group to fight back and reclaim control of their future.

    MADHERO: Oh man. Talk about being late to the fucking party. This is like coming to the club at 5 AM, asking where everyone is, and getting told that the party was yesterday and the bar is going to be demolished.


    STICKMAN: Oopsie. Live action directorial debut of one of animation’s few female directors. It's crazy to think how big YA books were just a few years ago. Now they're basically all dead.


    LARRY: This looks like if every major young adult thing and the X-Men had a disgusting baby.


    MADHERO: I do feel bad for director Jennifer Wuh Nelson after coming from Kung Fu Panda 2 and 3. But yeah, this seems like something that sat on a shelf and no one knew what to do with.


    LARRY: I still think the shot in this trailer where the boy telekinetically has the girl float over is suuuuuuuuuper rapey. Every time I see it in a theater, it gets worse.


    MADHERO: Also I don't know why they gave Gwendoline Christie such a terrible wig.


    STICKMAN: She can't catch a break. Somebody give her a good role.


    MADHERO: She'll always have Brienne of Tarth. Moving on.


    LARRY: 800!! Wait I guess this is 1000 now


    STICKMAN: I'd like to phone a friend, Chris.


    MADHERO: This outdated internet meme grew in popularity thanks to a webseries and free video game about collecting some scribbles.


    STICKMAN: Keyboard Cat.


    LARRY: Nyan Cat


    SLENDER MAN

    DIRECTOR: Sylvain White (The Losers, The Mark of the Angels)

    STARRING: Joey King, Julia Goldani Telles, Jaz Sinclair, Annalise Basso, Javier Botet

    SYNOPSIS: A group of teenage girls (King, Telles etc.) attempt to investigate the mystery of the Slender Man (Botet) after a friend of theirs goes missing, only to become haunted by the Slender Man themselves.

    LARRY: Arguably a worse meme than the two we dropped.


    MADHERO: Another one late to the party.


    STICKMAN: Hey I have an idea, let's release a film based on a real children related knifing on the same day as the knifing happened guys. Oh wait oops. Now people are mad.


    MADHERO: Slenderman probably reached the height of its popularity back in 2012 with the Slender game, but of course that stabbing made the whole thing rather.... gross. Which is why they probably moved it to August, but now Sony wants nothing to do with it


    STICKMAN: I'll give this film credit for having some inventive visuals at least. Could've put in zero effort but they  put in a solid 10% at the least.


    LARRY: Still a hard pass.


    MADHERO: I honestly don't find Slender Man all that scary. Sure, the concept of making children do horrible things, maybe, but its a tall pale guy in a suit with  some tentacles.


    STICKMAN: Slender Man is the long arm pasty white boi.


    LARRY: Yeah I just had no connection to the source material and this looks like...a little too generic for me I guess. And you know I don’t do well with horror.


    MADHERO: Well you're in luck, what with Sony sending it out to die, you'll never have to bother with it


    LARRY: Yayyyyyyyyy


    STICKMAN: I mean, I'll check it out on Netflix maybbeee. Horror films and whatnot.


    -------------------

    MADHERO: Speaking of Netflix......HOW ABOUT SOME MOVIE OF THE WEEK?!


    LARRY: Yeeeeeeeeeee


    MADHERO: Ironically though, I don't think any of us have a Netflix movie, with us all seeing a movie in the theater where its usually nice and cool and we get to survive this awful heatwave.


    STICKMAN: Air Con in cinemas is very important. As was Con Air in cinemas.


    MADHERO: Sticky, fellow survivor of the European heatwave that swept the nation. What's your movie of the week?


    MOVIE OF THE WEEK

    STICKMAN: WELLLL, it's a film that I not only had to survive a heatwave for, but also a month long football delay for to. For most folks who are reading this(?), Ant-Man and the Wasp probably feels like a distant blip on the movie radar. It came out early July in the US, but it's taken an whole month to reach the UK, thanks in part to the World Cup, and a knock on effect of Incredibles 2 also being delayed. THAT SAID...I finally saw it, and it was definitely worth the wait.

    It's a really funny film, with super creative action sequences that play with size, both big and small really well, there's a lot more SIZE PLAY as it were, in this film, compared to the first. Whilst the previous film was a heist, this one feels like a game of hot potato with a science laboratory, which I certainly can't say the same of for many other films.  Most importantly though, in with the laughs and the action, is a really charming and likeable cast, one you actually want to spend time with and root for, even more so than the first, with side-characters a little more fleshed out this time. Also..ANTSSS.


    LARRY: Oh hey I enjoyed this one too.


    MADHERO: I only saw this very recently as well, though the delay wasn't as long here


    STICKMAN: Football is a bad boy


    MADHERO: I'm ok with it. But yeah this movie is a lot of fun. Nice to once again have something smaller after Infinity War


    LARRY: Indeed. Lots of fun action beats too.


    STICKMAN: I continue to enjoy the many scales and tones the MCU can provide whilst still feeling cohesive. This film isn't heavy on the references either which is nice.


    MADHERO: It definitely is lesser MCU in my opinion, but its still a fun time and the size changes are a lot of fun


    LARRY: Dem post-credits tho.


    STICKMAN: I wouldn't call it lesser MCU at all, the stakes are lower, sure, but it's still a ton of fun and I really like the main cast. The post-credits scene felt...inevitable but also jarring given the initial ending of the film.


    LARRY: No yeah it being lower stakes doesn’t make it lesser MCU. Most of my favorite MCU movies are comedies. Or are moreso comedic in tone.


    STICKMAN: I laughed a bunch and it looked amazing in IMAX, so I'm a happy boy. WHAT ABOUT YOU, SOMEONE ELSE, WHaT DID YOu WATCH.


    LARRY: ...man, I should go see it in IMAX. I feel like it’s worth it.


    MADHERO: Well, Larry. Did you see your film in IMAX?


    LARRY: Nope! It isn’t playing on IMAX. Too low-budget.


    STICKMAN: Must be pretty SHIT THEN


    MADHERO: Oh. One of those. Well, spill it out.


    LARRY: My MOTW is Blindspotting, the feature debut of director Carlos Lopez Estrada and the writing debut of rappers/spoken word artists Rafael Casal and Daveed Diggs. I know this movie doesn’t have a set UK release, but let’s hope it does because this is easily one of the best films of the year.

    The film tells the story of two friends: Collin, a black man about to be finished with year-log probation after a two month prison sentence, and Myles, a family man with a wife and son. Both live in Oakland and soon begin to struggle with their friendship as gentrification of the city showcases their differences in privilege and identity. It’s a very political movie and touches upon a lot of topics, but first and foremost, it’s the story of two friends seeing things for what they really are. It’s excellent written, balancing humor and suspense excellently. Beyond that, there’s a lot of solid editing and cinematography on display, and its incorporation of spoken word especially gives it an extra kick of originality. I’m just happy to see a relatively underground, low-budget indie film be woke not for the sake of being woke, but through its storytelling. Be sure to check this one out when you can.


    STICKMAN: Oh hey, following up a movie I had to wait to watch with a movie I can't watch, NICE. This looks cool though.


    LARRY: Sorry Stix. Let’s hope it’s successful enough here in the states to go wider.


    MADHERO: I hadn't heard of this movie beforehand but I'm hearing more about it and that's its supposed to be really good.


    LARRY: It’s excellent, make no mistake. They’re also coming out with rap EPs based on the characters.


    STICKMAN: I've been hearing a lot of buzz. What do Larry's parents think of it though I wonder.


    MADHERO: Daveed Diggs is really going on up in the world. He's been killing it recently.


    LARRY: Love Diggs dude. The man is a BEAST. His rapping is insane and he does some incredible spoken word in this film.


    MADHERO: He's got the Snowpiercer TV series coming up and seems to be in demand. I've seen the film described as a comedy, but how funny is it?


    STICKMAN: Snowpierecer huh. Ahem


    LARRY: It’s definitely very, very funny, but it has its fair share of “holy fuck” moments.


    MADHERO: Great to hear its getting the attention it deserves.


    LARRY: Fun fact!! When I went to go see Sorry to Bother You, the same theater was hosting Blindspotting’s premiere. Coulda met Daveed Diggs if I had tried.


    STICKMAN: But you failed. Now we move on to Mad's film.


    MADHERO: Alright. My film is a movie that needs no introduction. Its quite remarkable how remarkably consistent the Mission Impossible films have been since 3. They've been one of the most solid and consistently entertaining action films out there, and they consistently impress with their audacity. Whether its climbing the tallest building in the world, hanging on a plane, and in the case of Fallout, doing a halo jump. Its all really exciting stuff.

    And in Fallout, its fairly early on and doesn't let up. I've seen a lot of people make the comparison to Mad Max Fury Road, and while its not quite as manic as that, its got some remarkable pacing for an close to 2.5 hour movie. The plot itself is fairly standard Mission Impossible stuff, but Henry Cavill's mustache proves to be a really fun addition, being a hammer compared to Tom Cruise's scalpel. So yeah, if you're in the mood for jaw dropping action, Fallout is the way to go.


    STICKMAN: HELLL YEAAHH BOOIII. This film was fucking craaazy. I saw this in IMAX and that halo drop was INSANE!


    MADHERO: HELL YEAH, DUDE! GOD, THIS MOVIE'S ACTION IS SO FUCKING GOOD


    LARRY: I wanna see this so bad. it came out when I was traveling, so I didn’t catch it opening weekend, but I’m going to catch it this week.


    STICKMAN: This one is the best of the most recent three for sure.


    LARRY: Wow. That’s saying a lot really. Protocol and Rogue are both excellent.


    MADHERO: When I saw Ant-Man, they showed footage on how they did the halo jump, and it absolutely boggles the mind. While Infinity War spectacle is nice, its great seeing these real life stunts as well.


    STICKMAN: They really are, like Mad said...3-6 have all been consistently great. They're all really good except 2, which is really bad.


    LARRY: I like ‘em all. Except 2, yeah.


    STICKMAN: Fallout is potentially the best of the series, but I'll require a rewatch for that  I BELIEVE.


    MADHERO: So yeah, go see Tom Cruise break his ankle on IMAX. Highly recommended. Can really hear that crack.


    ------------

    MADHERO: Anyway I think about wraps up everything. We'll be going through the last doldrums of summer trying not to get covered in puppet jizz.


    STICKMAN: It's too late, that happened a long time ago.


    LARRY: Ewwwwwwwww NOOOOO


    MADHERO: Eugh, fine. Then lets see if we can escape Indonesia via Mark Wahlberg, or meet up with some insanely wealthy Asians.


    LARRY: MUCH PREFERRED.


    STICKMAN: Puppet jizz though.


    LARRY: NO.


    MADHERO: This next episode might get nasty. Later everyone.

  • At the Screwvies: Episode 113

    4 weeks ago

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    MADHERO: It is upon us once again. The Great Comic-Con News Flood.  That time of year when every studio decides to tease whoever is crazy enough to make the trip to San Diego and stand in line for literal days to get into Hall H to get a small teaser none of us get to see, except for Warner Bros, who does release its stuff. It was enough for Larry to say " fuck that" and go see family abroad instead.


    STICKMAN: The great Comic Con flood has consumed Larry. He won't be seen for at least two weeks. Thoughts and prayers.


    MADHERO: Tis a shame. Who knows what our theater expert would think of Mamma Mia. Now its up to us heathens to talk about it. But before we do that, might as well dip into said flood and find the good stuff.


    STICKMAN: I hope there's a big lizard boy in there.


    NEWS

    JAMES GUNN FIRED FROM GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 3 FOLLOWING RIGHT-WING SMEAR CAMPAIGN.

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    Okay, so...this is maybe one of the most shocking, out of nowhere news stories we've ever covered on At the Screwvies. Marvel may have sat Comic Con out, but they've stolen the media spotlight big-time, for all the wrong reasons. James Gunn, director of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 1 and 2  has been fired from Marvel Studios, Disney, and production of Vol 3 following a right-wing internet campaign calling for his termination, following the re-emergence of offensive tweets from over 9 years ago.


    The tweets in question were poorly conceived jokes about rape and pedophilia that, at the time, weren't nearly as controversial as they are now. These were tweets that had already been brought to light in 2014 following his hiring for the first GotG film, where Gunn apologized profusely and everything moved on smoothly.  These same jokes are now deemed reason for instant termination. These actions of course, were spearheaded by a far-right personality most well known for the moronic 'Pizzagate' debacle, and he himself is known, to this date to make poor taste comments regarding the semantics of rape. This situation is truly perplexing, and somewhat depressing. Whilst the jokes in question are indeed awful,  this is something dealt with a long time ago, and Gunn has proven himself to have evolved since then. His sudden termination throws the future of the MCU into chaos, as both GotG3, and the wider cosmic side of the series leaned heavily on the style/tone he established in two highly loved, financially successful films. Drax actor Dave Bautista has already rallied support to the director,  as well as support from Zoe Saldana, Karen Gillan, his brother Sean Gunn and Chris Pratt, so it's going to be interesting to see where things go from here. A shitty, shocking situation for sure.


    MADHERO: Well, this was quite the shocker


    STICKMAN: Genuinely didn't believe it when I saw the tweets. I thought it was a joke.


    MADHERO: I heard it from Hollywood Reporter, who don't usually report bullshit. I honestly did not know there was a controversy going on, even when Gunn explained on Twitter about his past tweets. I never in a million years thought it would lead to this.


    STICKMAN: I'm in a fortunate enough position where I don't hear about this shit until things like this happen. So yeah, this came completely out of nowhere.


    MADHERO: I think the biggest bummer of the situation is how it isn't actually done by people who care that Gunn tweeted something offensive. They just wanted to punish him for being vocally Anti-Trump. Disney of course was in a similar situation with Roseanne Barr, but that was incredibly recent and continuous behavior, whereas Gunn's was close to a decade now.


    STICKMAN: Yeah, this was never a campaign for decency, it was a revenge crusade. It's a fucking shitty situation and the people who made it happen are a brigade of spineless cunts. Not that cunts have spines, generally.


    MADHERO: Pretty much. Lets not mince those words: those jokes made by Gunn were pretty fucking bad, and he admits as much. He's very much shed that needlessly provocative image and become a much better person as a result. While I have no doubt that GOTG Vol. 3 will probably turn out fine regardless, it feels like a far bigger issue than just 1 movie. This really sets a dangerous precedent.


    STICKMAN: The things he said were bad, but if we don't give people the chance to atone and grow from these things, what hope do any of us have, really? We've all said shitty things online, ill-informed,  backwards or heat of the moment kinda shit. I'm sure we'll (mostly) much better people now.


    MADHERO: You can't really expect a human being to be flawless throughout their whole life. Its gonna be interesting what happens and if Disney will turn this decision around with pressure from the cast. My guess is they won't, but we can hope for the best.


    STICKMAN: I'd really like to see Disney just be like....alright, our bad, sorry guys, and this situation resolves itself. But I see it as a bridge burned, that'll be hard to repair. It's just a damn shitty situation and nothing good will come from it.


    WARNER BROS RELEASES FIRST TRAILER FOR AQUAMAN

    As part of the big Warner Bros trailerpalooza, we got our long awaited trailer for the next DCEU/Worlds of DC goaround: Aquaman. Much pressure exists on this movie what with the character initially introduced in Justice League, which didn't exactly do great and left people mixed on Jason Momoa's interpretation of the character. Plus, Aquaman has always been an easy punchline for being able to talk to fish and not much else. DC has desperately tried to make him cool, with some hilarious results. But still, with all these movies, there's always the hope that this'll be more of a Wonder Woman than BvS, because we all want these to do well.


    With all that pressure, this trailer actually comes out of it pretty well. We get a quick dose of his origin and the overall story (evil half brother Patrick Wilson is taking the throne and is ready to wage war with the surface) as well as a quest to get some magical macguffins to seal his claim to the throne. Easily the highlights are the shots of Atlantis and the creature design, with an surprisingly accurate Black Manta and some wild underwater monsters and armored sharks. It looks pretty damn wild and varied. James Wan is a very capable filmmaker who already succeeded under enormous pressure with Furious Seven. Hopefully, he can do the same with this.

    STICKMAN: I'm very conflicted.


    MADHERO: It was probably the weakest of the trailers we'll talk about, which doesn't include Crimes of Grindelwald. I'm really impressed with the world design, and that's cause I absolutely adore underwater life, so I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. Key word being cautiously.


    STICKMAN: I'd be very cautious yeah, this is the last of the DC films that were in the works after the BvS fallout, so there's no telling how much it was affected. Some parts of it look amazing visually, other parts look awful...that crowd cheering scene? Oof.


    MADHERO: The shark in the aquarium doesn't look great either, as does Amber Heard's wig. Still, don't wanna reel on effects too much when they're still going through work. Will judge after the release. I'm surprised how cool Black Manta looks all things considered.


    STICKMAN: Black Manta did look cool, and some parts of the film looked fun, they definitely seem to have balanced the tones out a bit more.


    MADHERO: It probably looks the most like an MCU film of any of the films they've released so far. I think one of the things that gives me hope is James Wan, who's proven himself under enormous pressure as a very capable blockbuster filmmaker.


    STICKMAN: James Wan needs to escape from the DC lot at Warner Bros, run to the horror department and start making The Conjuring 3 already, for fuck's sake.


    MADHERO: Why do that when you make all the spin-offs? Its gonna be interesting how this does after Justice League tanked, but I wanna believe in lil Aquabro, cause I'm a glutton for punishment.


    STICKMAN: Aquabro was awful in Justice League and I have no reason to trust the DCEU at all. Prove me wrong, Warner Bros, prove me wrong.


    WARNER BROS RELEASES SURPRISE SHAZAM TRAILER. SHOWS OFF COMEDIC TONE

    Whilst we were all expecting the Aquaman trailer to finally drop at Comic Con this year, and indeed this was confirmed well in advance...the jury was definitely out on the April 2019 DCEU follow-up getting anything shown off outside of the fabled Hall H. Despite this, Warner Bros surprised us all with our first, rather substantial trailer for SHAZAM, and things are looking quite different from what we've seen from the DCEU prior.


    And it is indeed a DCEU film, which wasn't 100% clear prior to this trailer, but is now deafening clear thanks to its frequent use of Justice League themed t-shirts, a batarang, and some expositional newspapers. Other than that, you could be mistaken for thinking we had established a very different DCEU, because this film is looking very bright, bubbly and comedy-centric, everything DCEU film's prior (With the exception of Wonder Woman) stood violently against.  We're introduced to Asher Angel's Billy Batson, who after moving in with a new foster family, who's other child is the wheezy asthma kid from last year's IT, is chosen by the titular hero to embody his many powers, activated by saying his name, which of course, turns him into Zachary Levi, who's on fine form as a kid turned superhero adult. After that we see him and his foster brother testing out his abilities, and encountering Mark Strong in shitty makeup. The whole film looks a lot more fun than anything we've seen from DC lately, and hopefully that will pay off for a fresher, more entertaining movie next April.


    MADHERO: Well hey, we might have been proven wrong.


    STICKMAN: Well...this could go wrong very easily, but it is a promising first look.


    MADHERO: This trailer is very confident in its tone, a very clear idea what it wants to be. The training sequence and finding out about the powers feels very Chronicle almost, albeit a lot nicer in tone.


    STICKMAN: It's like Chronicles but with actual superheroes and less child abuse....so far at least. And a lot less Max Landis, which as we all know is the best thing.


    MADHERO: Exactly. While I was a little surprised by his casting, I can't deny that Zachary Levi is pretty much a perfect fit as a child stuck in the body of a superhero. He seems to be having a lot of fun in this trailer.


    STICKMAN: He was the most assuring part of the trailer, he's doing great in that role, we can already tell.


    MADHERO: Yeah, his performance (and to an extent Asher Angel's performance as kid Billy Batson) are what going to make or break this movie. Its gonna be interesting how Mark Strong is gonna fit in it. He's not in it much but his role is also pretty comedic apparently.


    STICKMAN: I'm more hopeful for this than Aquaman that's for sure, which is kinda sad when you think about it.


    MADHERO: Its a much more smaller film than that one. Plus its completely fresh. I was happily surprised, and hope the film will as well.


    STICKMAN: It just makes me want to shout out...hey this looks neat.


    BLUMHOUSE SHOWS OFF FIRST TRAILER FOR M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN’S GLASS

    Its been a while since M. Night Shyamalan produced what's probably his greatest twist of all: the fact his movie Split, a neat little Blumhouse thriller showing off James McAvoy's acting range, turned out to be the long awaited sequel to 2000's Unbreakable, Shyamalan's interesting take on the superhero genre (even more so today, now that they dominate the Hollywood landscape). With Split being a huge success, the long awaited crossover was announced fairly soon after, with the film shown off where else: Comic-Con.


    Picking up close after Split, it  shows David Dunn (Bruce Willis), James McAvoy's many personalities and Samuel L. Jackson's Mr. Glass stuck in a psychiatric ward, questioned by Sarah Paulson on their supposed delusion of grandeur. We get a bit of a recap of what every character's been up to, with McAvoy continuing kidnapping girls and Bruce Willis going all pre-cog on us. We get some teases of the inevitable clash between the hero and villain, as it looks like Brucie might be in a bit of a pickle. Its looking atmospheric, intriguing and it looks like M. Night is able to make Bruce Willis give a shit. That's remarkable on its own.


    STICKMAN: I'm in the minority who thought Split was a huge pile of shit, so I'm not really feeling this weird crossover with cliche dialogue.


    MADHERO: Oh daaaaaaaaaaaang. Someone's raining over the parade with their perfectly valid opinions that I happen to disagree with.


    STICKMAN: Itsone of those films I genuinely don't get the mostly universal love for? The dialogue was really  bad, and whilst James McAvoy gave a very diverse series of performances, they were all pretty camp and sometimes offensive. Also, I don't really get what Glass' super power is...he's...easy to hurt? Amazing.


    MADHERO: Well he'll be one orchestrating the confrontation in all likelihood. Plus he’s super duper smart. I know you really did not like Split, but what about Unbreakable?


    STICKMAN: Unbreakable was pretty good but I don't think it's aged super well. Given Bruce Willis hasn't given a damn in anything since Looper, I dunno what to expect from his role in this. Samuel L Jackson is always worth turning up for, though.


    MADHERO: Well Shyamalan has managed to wrangle some of his best performances out of him in Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, so I hope he does the same here, cause no one wants to go to a movie theater seeing Bruce Willis not give a shit. They can do that with his Direct to DVD movies.


    STICKMAN: And any other movie he's starred in since Looper. Anyway, I'm not particularly interested in this, but I guess it's neat that Unbreakable is getting a sequel...I guess. Mhmmh.


    WARNER BROS AND LEGENDARY SHOW OFF EPIC TRAILER FOR GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS

    Oh boy OH BOOOOYY. Now this is what I was wanting from Comic Con most of all. With a May 2019 release, it wasn't a done deal that this would have anything to show for itself outside of Hall H, but after a somewhat shoddily produced teaser trailer, and MONARCH based viral marketing campaign made a splash on the internet earlier in the week, this became a done deal. And thus, here it is...and holy shit, what a first impression it makes.


    Oh boy OH BOOOOYY. Now this is what I was wanting from Comic Con most of all. With a May 2019 release, it wasn't a done deal that this would have anything to show for itself outside of Hall H, but after a somewhat shoddily produced teaser trailer, and MONARCH based viral marketing campaign made a splash on the internet earlier in the week, this became a done deal. And thus, here it is...and holy shit, what a first impression it makes.


    Following on from 2017's Kong Skull Island , and more specifically the 2014 previous Godzilla film, the next installment in Legendary's semi-successful 'Monsterverse' is seeking to remedy the less lauded aspects of the previous Godzilla movie, namely it being too dark and...well, lacking much in the way of Godzilla...and is doubling down, or moreso quadrupling down on the monster madness.  Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra and King Ghidorah all make an appearance in this trailer in some capacity, with the latter two being teased oh so deliciously. The premise seems to involve young girl Madison (Millie Bobby Brown) and her mother (Vera Farmiga, continuing her Worst Mom Ever streak) taking her along as she awakens the four most deadly kaiju, or 'titans' on the planet, supposedly in order to restore balance to a dying Earth. But judging from the devastation displayed in the trailer, with Washington DC looking less like a city and more like a burning sand pit? She's not done a very good job. Overall this is a fantastic first trailer, demonstrating the same style of epic visual splendor as the first film, albeit one more visible, and loaded with glorious monster carnage. ROLL ON MAAAAAY.


    MADHERO: Holy fuuuuuuuck. I don't know what it is about the MonsterVerse, but they've got some of the best trailer editors working on it. Skull Island had some amazing trailers, and this really comes out kicking.


    STICKMAN: They really know how to sell a film, hopefully this time they'll be able to make a film that lives up to that standard too. I liked Godzilla 2014 a lot, and Skull Island was really fun too, but both of them were pretty flawed at the same time.


    MADHERO: I think the 2 biggest complaints about Godzilla is that it didn't have enough Godzilla or kept relentlessly teasing him, and the fairly generic bad monsters as the bad guys. And this trailer, while just a small snippet, seems to suggest they're fixing both.


    STICKMAN: Oh boy oh boy. We got the goodies this time, with more yet to be seen within the film, apparently. If Gigan turns up, who's the best Godzilla monster, I will scream.


    MADHERO: Godzooky or GTFO. Its gonna be pretty wild if there's more than just these 4, but they'll no doubt be teasing throughout the marketing. Gigan is probably a bridge too far, but maybe Barogun, or Gamera for maximum crossover appeal.


    STICKMAN: No doubt we'll find out before the film comes out, because merchandising leaks and WHAT NOT. But I  was already stoked for this film, obviously...but the trailer...which not only existed, but managed to be better than anything any of us could have expected? OH MAN. Now I'm horny.


    MADHERO: That Mothra shot was fucking gorgeous.


    STICKMAN: There's so many great shots, but yeah, that one, with the music and all, FUCKIN MAJESTIC AS HELL. Mothra gonna fuck shit up.


    MADHERO: A lot of shit is gonna get fucked looking at the trailer. Its gonna be a blast.


    JOKER ORIGIN MOVIE STARRING JOAQUIN PHOENIX OFFICIALLY HAPPENING. WILL RELEASE ON OCTOBER 2019

    Joaquin-Phoenix-Joker-645x370.jpg

    When it comes to WB'S DC productions, its always a bit of a wait and see what actually gets made or not. For a while, it felt like we got a new announcement every week, and who knows what even goes ahead. One of those pitches was a standalone Joker origin story directed by Todd Phillips (The Hangover trilogy) which would not be the origin of Leto Joker (guess we'll never know who tattooed Damaged), but in the style of a 70's or 90's Scorsese crime film. It all sounded a little silly, but not only is it happening: its got a star, a name and even a release date.


    Simply titled Joker, it will star Joaquin Phoenix of all people as the Clown Prince of Crime before he fell in a vat of acid, and Zazie Beetz (Domino in Deadpool 2) is in talks to be his love interest, as well as Robert de Niro just to add to the Scorseseness of it all. Shooting is supposes to happen in September, with n release date planned for October 2019, which is really fucking fast for this type of film. That speed is thanks to the relatively low budget (around 55 million), which gives them the oppurtunity to be more experimental and hard edged (its almost definitely rated R). Needless to say, this is a weird project, and giving Joker an origin is a bad idea. But Phoenix is one of my favourite actors and I'm very curious with his take, and he picks his projects carefully. So yeah, very conflicted about this


    STICKMAN: Like you say, promising cast and all that...and although the Joker has had origin stories, they tend to be parallel to another story, I'm not sure I'd dedicate an entire solo-film to this alone.


    MADHERO: Well the Joker is still an insanely popular character that they'd like to make money on with more than just Batman films that aren't being made right now. Its all sounding like a one-off experimental type thing.


    STICKMAN: I'm not even sure Joaquin Phoenix is suited to the role, necessarily. He's a great actor, but I can't really picture him in white makeup and red lipstick, prancing around like a murderous clown.


    MADHERO: Yeah, but we said the same about Heath Ledger back in the day. Phoenix has a lot more range than people give him credit for, but I don't really know how to compare to any of the other Jokers that have been on screen.


    STICKMAN: It's not entirely assured that he will be the Joker as we know him in this film. It depends on how they play it. It's a weird idea, and like you say, it could work big time, and open the door for more experimental DC films that offer more than just blockbuster entertainment, or it's going to be a massive disaster and the only one of these we see.


    MADHERO: It feels more something like Logan than anything done beforehand. That's probably what they're going for. I have no idea what to make of it, but its coming out fairly soon, so I guess we'll find out.


    STICKMAN: The close release date is also a bit troubling. BUT OH WELL. It's not like DC have ever made a bad mov-oh.


    ----------------

    MADHERO: Phew,  I think that about does it for all the news out there. You almost forget that with all this talking and announcing and whatnot, that Hollywood actually releases movies as well. Its almost.....impossible to follow everything.


    STICKMAN: So much news, hoo wee. So much news.


     MADHERO: Its alright, Stickman. We could go at it again, but let's focus on this varied list of films of which we're only interested in one.


    STICKMAN: What a great idea....I guess?


    MOVIES

    MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: FALLOUT

    DIRECTOR: Christopher McQuarrie (Jack Reacher, Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation)

    STARRING: Tom Cruise, Rebecca Ferguson, Simon Pegg, Ving Rhames, Michelle Rodriguez, Alec Baldwin, Sean Harris, Henry Cavill, Angela Bassett

    SYNOPSIS: When an IMF mission ends badly, the world is faced with dire consequences. As Ethan Hunt (Cruise) takes it upon himself to fulfill his original briefing, the CIA begins to question his loyalty and his motives.

    STICKMAN: OHHH BAYBEEE


    MADHERO: Apparently the best action movie since Fury Road according to some critics, and if that isn't enough to get you interested, well I don't know what will.


    STICKMAN: I'm fuckin pumped as HELLL. The last few Mission Impossible films have been really great, so I'm glad this has not only continued that trend, but upped it again? How many other franchises top themselves at film 6.


    MADHERO: Its weird. I always like these films, but then I don't really feel excitement up until the moment they're almost out. And its pretty wild  it just keeps going with the spectacle. Guess it helps having someone as insane as Tom Cruise.


    STICKMAN: They fucking throw him out of a god damn plane in this one. They literally have to launch Tom Cruise into space next time to beat the stunts in this one.


    MADHERO:  Also I guess now we know that Cavill's Justice League ruining moustache was worth it.


    STICKMAN: I hear his villainous motivation in this film is chasing all the girls.


    MADHERO: Ooooh. Topical. Reports are that the last half hour is an absolute ride and I'm here for it.


    STICKMAN: I'm fucking reaaadddy. Gonna see that shit in IMAX, even though they've forced it to be in 3D here. FUCK.


    MAMMA MIA: HERE WE GO AGAIN

    DIRECTOR: Ol Parker (Now Is Good)

    STARRING: Amanda Seyfried, Meryl Streep, Lily James, Cher, Dominic Cooper, Christine Baranski, Julie Walters, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgard

    SYNOPSIS: Sophie (Seyfired) is pregnant with Sky's (Cooper) child while running her mother's villa. Sophie will find out more of Donna's (Streep, James) past and how she came to start up her villa without a mother to guide.

    STICKMAN: Oh shit, here we go again.


    MADHERO: Credit where credit is due, that's the best sequel title since Electric Boogaloo.


    STICKMAN: I feel like this joins the likes of My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 in the camp of...REALLY...A SEQUEL AT THIS STAGE?


    MADHERO: The original Mamma Mia feels like it released a million years ago and yet it was only 2008, which was.....10 years ago. Fuck.


    STICKMAN: It's the same age as The Dark Knight. And clearly, has had the same impact on modern cinema.


    MADHERO: To be fair, its not a film made for us. Its a light fluffy jukebox musical and it apparently gets the job done. Better than the first, but stuck using ABBA's B material with a few repeats. Hopefully now they're given to people who can actually sing.


    STICKMAN: For me, the original was like getting a hammer to the balls and I couldn't sit through 5 seconds of it. This is getting a 2D IMAX screening through...for those who want the ultimate....Mamma Mia...experience...Mamma MiMAX?


    MADHERO: I saw the first one with my family and it was not a good time. Luckily, I don't have to see the 2nd one, but I hope those that do will have fun.


    TEEN TITANS GO TO THE MOVIES

    DIRECTOR: Aaron Horvath, Peter Rida Michail (episodes of Teen Titans Go)

    STARRING: Scott Menville, Greg Cipes, Khary Payton, Tara Strong, Hynden Walch, Will Arnett, Kristen Bell, Nicolas Cage, 

    SYNOPSIS: The Teen Titans (Menville, Cipes etc.) learn that almost every hero in the DC Universe has their own films. However, they find a window of opportunity for their own movie by having their own nemesis: Slade (Arnett).

    MADHERO: Boy this could not release at a better time after that Titans trailer.


    STICKMAN: FUCK BATMAN.


    MADHERO: Got fucked so hard that he's not in this movie, but Alfred is. Yet they did get Wil Arnett and cast him as Slade/Deathstroke.


    STICKMAN: Batman's in the movie,  he's played by Jimmy Kimmel. So that's another reason not to watch this film I guess.


    MADHERO: O dang, my bad. Its made for kids, so its fine. We can watch Titans instead, like adults too cool for school.


    STICKMAN: I think maybe Titans...in all its forms, just aren't for me. I'm too...complex..and dark...and alone. You see. Hnngh. Sometimes, the darkness, feels good.


    MADHERO: Let the kids have their goofy cartoon again. I will grumble in the corner wishing for my old Teen Titans while the writers point and laugh at me.


    STICKMAN: What annoys me about Teen Titans GO is that they know it sucks...they know people want something else, and that's the joke? If you're aware of the problem why not course correct instead of laughing about how bad you aAAaAAAArre.


    MADHERO: Because META!


    STICKMAN: AAAAGGH


    THE EQUALIZER 2

    DIRECTOR: Antoine Fuqua (The Equalizer, The Magnificent Seven)

    STARRING: Denzel Washington, Ashton Sanders, Pedro Pascal, Jonathan Scarfe, Melissa Leo, Bill Pullman

    SYNOPSIS: Robert McCall (Washington) learns that one of his longtime friends has been murdered. McCall decides to return to his old ways and seek out, find and punish the perpetrators.

    STICKMAN: Who saw this getting a sequel.


    MADHERO: Worse. Who saw this getting a sequel and NOT call it The Sequalizer.


    STICKMAN: Ahh, huge missed opportunity. Shut it down.


    MADHERO: It feels weird that this is Denzel's first every sequel. The Equalizer was a perfectly adequate dad action movie. And the sequel is....just doing that again, but now its REVENGE!


    STICKMAN: I've never seen the previous film...it looked...fine? Nothing amazing, which seems to be an accurate summary.


    MADHERO: I feel like Washington as a actor and Fuqua as a director can do way better. I'm more baffled by its existence than the film itself, which just looks really generic.


    STICKMAN: Yeah, you'd feel Denzel would be above this, but hey ho. Gotta pay the bills.


    MADHERO: We all fall prey to the easy paycheck. Speaking of which....


    UNFRIENDED: DARK WEB

    DIRECTOR: Stephen Suscu (directorial debut)

    STARRING: Colin Woodell, Betty Gabriel, Rebecca Rittenhouse, Andrew Lees, Connor del Rio

    SYNOPSIS: A teen picks up a new laptop from a lost-and-found bin and finds a cache of secret files on it. While on a video call with his friends, he discovers the disturbing nature of the files

    MADHERO: Boy this really is the "boy, who'd have throught that'd get a sequel" type of episode.


    STICKMAN: I mean it's a horror film, and a bad one too, that means it's GUARANTEED to get a sequel.


    MADHERO: I don't think I ever saw the original, and don't really have plans to tbh. Instead of a spooky cyber ghost, it seems to be criminals now.


    STICKMAN: That's not nearly as stupid though. It just won't work.


    MADHERO: I don't really have many strong opinions for this film. Its reviews have been surprisingly decent. And lord knows I've felt tense awaiting a Facebook message, so you know you can milk horror out of it.


    STICKMAN: The basic premise of a found footage screen capture film is neat...and there's a more promising looking film along that nature coming out in the future, as for this one....passssss.


    MADHERO: Also, before I forget. Apparently this movie has 2 different endings, so you may get something completely different depending on where you see it.


    STICKMAN: That's kinda weird, but neat. I GUESS.


    -----------------


    MADHERO: Alright that's it for all the movies. A lot of sequels for movies made for your mom or dad. But if Mission Impossible ain't for you. Don't worry. There's always MOVIE OF THE WEEK!


    STICKMAN: OH SHIIIIIIIET


    MADHERO: As it turns out, its quite difficult to go see a movie on vacation because you're supposed to do other stuff, but I think I've managed.


    STICKMAN: Did you though, did you reaaaaally?


    MADHERO: I meaaaan......ok fine. Here it is.


    MOVIE OF THE WEEK

    So with me having gone on vacation, I haven't really been watching a lot of movies in the theater since Incredibles, so I had to look at what came out on DVD, and noticed a film that might actually really benefit from having a home release. With Comic-Con going on, there's probably no better time to talk Ready Player One again: the ultimate movie for you to go "hey, I recognize that" made by one of the greatest directors of all time.


    Now RPO is definitely not one of Spielberg's better films, but it does do a good job in erasing a lot of the navel-gazing and in-love-with-itself attitude of the original novel its based on. Its a ginourmous roller coaster ride, and Spielberg is an expert craftsman of those, but hadn't really done one since Tintin in 2011. The action is absolutely bonkers to follow, which makes spotting some of the references difficult. Luckily, you can now pause the movie whenever you want and look, and spot that supposed Amaterasu from Okami you desperately tried to find but couldn't. It'll probably take all day, but its something to keep you busy.


    STICKMAN: I haven't seen this film but I hear it's got Xenomorphs, Master Chief and Mecha-Godzilla, so that's worth something.


    MADHERO: All of those are pretty damn easy to spot. MechaGodzilla especially.


    STICKMAN: A giant robo-boy with missiles is hard to miss I guess. Some people seem to love this film and others seem to hate it with a fiery passion.


    MADHERO: I thought it was fine. Again, it removes a lot of the more problematic elements of the book, but it still has a pretty clunky script and really underdeveloped characters. Its a movie you go to for the rollercoaster ride, and not necessarily the story.


    STICKMAN: Seems like it's at least fun, and full of things to point at and go "There they are"


    MADHERO: Too many things, which is why watching it at home is perfect. Because damn it, Hello Kitty is there somewhere.


    STICKMAN: Hello Kitty is piloting Mechagodzilla, duh.


    MADHERO: What about your film? Is Hello Kitty in there?


    STICKMAN: Hello Kitty was never really here. SOOOO, although I saw Incredibles 2 last week and liked it quite a lot, we've spoken about that a lot recently, so I thought I'd go to the DVD releases and talk about my current favourite film of the year,  YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE. Previously mention Joaquin Phoneix stars in, maybe one of his best roles as a tormented, broken rescuer of kidnapped and trafficked young girls. And when I say broken, I mean...TRULY broken. I've never seen another performance like this, it's quite spectacular.

    Beyond his performance alone, the visuals are spectacular, and the sound design is incredible. The soundtrack, by Jonny Greenwood, of Radiohead and Phantom Thread fame is one of this year's best too. It's not an easy watch, this film very quickly goes to some dark places and never comes back out...and this is a arthouse/narrative hybrid film, so some people may find it a frustrating watch, but for me, it's an experience the likes of which I've never seen at the cinema, and I can confirm, it's still marvelous on Blu Ray too.


    MADHERO: Oh. I don't think Hello Kitty is a part of this.


    STICKMAN: I mean she might turn up, I won't spoil it for you.


    MADHERO: Joaquin Phoenix is one of my favorite actors, so I'm still very much planning on seeing this. Lynne Ramsey as well really impressed/depressed me with We Need to Talk About Kevin, and I think this might do the same.


    STICKMAN: She's a great director, Kevin like you say, was a great, but depressing film...this one's a weird mixture of emotions, dark, upsetting, but in a weird way...kinda uplifting? I dunno, maybe it's just the music doing that. It's a unique cinematic experience, that's for sure.


    MADHERO: You see this play in Oscar time? I feel like this is something that's really going under the radar.


    STICKMAN: I feel like this is the sorta film that'll get shut out...early in the year release, difficult subject matter and obtuse presentation. Sound Editing nomination seems pretty guaranteed though.


    ------------

    MADHERO: Awesome. I think that about wraps everything up. No vacations for now, which is good because you might be cornered by your former stuffed animals or a huge shark. There's really no inbetween.


    STICKMAN: Do you mean...PooooooooOOOOOooooOOOOOOOOHH!?


    MADHERO: Yes, Pooh. The silly old bear is giving Obi Wan a bit of a bother.


    STICKMAN: Well, as the bear himself would say "Fucking hell". GOODBYE


    MADHERO: Later everyone. Don't let Slenderman catch you.

  • Just over one week....

    4 weeks ago

    DimityJessup

    Is it weird i feel nervous? I feel on edge...maybe its just that i have been unwel and i worry that i wont feel well in the USA


    Or maybe i just dont want to sit on a plane for 15 hours....

    But I am also excited

  • Extra Life T-shirts.

    1 month ago

    morgangamer3

    TC3 Extra life shirts

    This year #forthekids I have launched some T-shirts to a group that i'm apart of called TC3, they are a bunch of talented artists, gamers, musicians and streamers that i love to pieces. I decided to make some merchandise for the group and have decided that all of the proceeds will go towards extra life. 

  • Ticket for RTX London 2018

    1 month ago

    Benjieboy

    Hey everyone, I have two weekend tickets to RTX London that I am beginning to think I won't be able to use, and was hoping that someone may want to buy them from me? Just send me a message for details

  • At the Screwvies: Episode 112

    1 month ago

    g1Features

    tumblr_p8a32rVe5z1vuwsa7o6_r1_1280.png

    MADHERO: Hello everyone. I hope all y'all are enjoying your summers. Its been fun with my World Cups and all that. It distracts from the fact that for some reason Ant-Man and the Wasp hasn't released here yet but it has in the US. What the hell, Marvel? We had a good thing going with this whole "getting the movies early" thing and you betray us like that? Damn.


    LARRY: Gee......can't imagine what that's like....heh heh


    STICKMAN: Hey, Larry. FUUCCK OFFFF. 


    MADHERO: Laugh it up, Larry. Laugh it up, you American swine. Hope you had a good 4th of July btw.


    LARRY: Aight fuck off both of you lol


    MADHERO: Wow rude. Might as well talk some news to ease the pain.


    LARRY: Y'ALL WERE RUDE FIRST


    NEWS

    SONY DEVELOPING SPIDER-MAN SPIN-OFF “MORBIUS” WITH JARED LETO AS LEAD. ALSO DEVELOPING A SILK FILM

    image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fewedit.files.wor

    Y'all ready for more non-MCU Spider-Man Sony extended bullshit? We got a whole bunch for you today. Biggest story being the announcement of a Morbius the Vampire solo-film, presumably set within the same universe as this year's crappy looking Venom...which is being directed by Daniel Espinosa who brought you Safe House (Crap) and Life (Pretty good). More interesting/troubling is the casting of Morbius himself, none other than Jared 'Damaged' Leto.  We also got word of ANOTHER Spider-Sony-Spin-Off, featuring Silk, a character who has similar powers to Peter Parker, but not quite the same self-control, and a bit more of a darker background. Considering her character exists as a connective tissue to the story of Peter, it's going to be weird to see how they make a film for her without including him? But then this is Sony, and Sony gonna Sony.


    And FINALLY...we've got some more news for the actually really promising looking Enter the Spider-Verse animated movie. The good news? Spider-Man Noir is going to enter the scene, which is awesome. The ....slightly confusing news? He's going to be played by Nicolas god-damn Cage. Not who I'd of picked, but there you go. With all this going on, in addition to filming on the recently named Spider-Man: Far From Home? We're suddenly drowning in Spider-People. Where's the bug spray when you need it.


    MADHERO: Ok, so what ca-raaaaaaazy method thing is Jared Leto going to do playing a vampire?


    STICKMAN: He's going to drain people's blood for real.


    LARRY:He's gonna starve himself to get white and skinny, and then actually hang out with bats and shit. Look out for the Vox. article y'all


    MADHERO: And only wanna work at night or something because it adds to the "realness." So I can understand Venom getting a spin-off, but who the fuck is asking for a Morbius movie? He's not even in Top 20 Spider-Man villains.


    STICKMAN: When you take into consideration who's off the table because of the MCU....Vulture, Scorpion, Shocker, Mysterio....and then take into account what they're already planning with Venom and shit. It's not surprising we ended up with Morbius.


    LARRY: Yeah...you start scraping the bottom of the barrel. On a side note, WHERE IS MY KRAVEN SPINOFF?! I WANNA BE CATERED TO TO


    MADHERO: You wonder what it will take for Sony to go "fuck it, here's Ben Reilly, the Scarlet Spider."


    STICKMAN: Please no.


    MADHERO: I guess maybe that's the plan with Silk, having a Spider-Man esque character but not Spider-Man. She's a neat character, but her story is linked with Peter's and like Venom, I don’t know how you dance around it.


    STICKMAN: Sony will try their best and fail miserably though I'd imagine.


    LARRY: Just a reminder that Venom still looks like shit. No reason to have any faith in any of this.


    MADHERO: They must be feeling really confident about Venom to go full steam ahead with this, even with Silver and Black put on ice. Its just.....ugh. I thought we were passed this.


    STICKMAN: They were feeling confident about Amazing Spider-Man 2, so I don't think their confident means anything. But heeeey...how about Enter the Spider-Verse, right?


    MADHERO: That's weird casting but I'm into it. I doubt he's in it much. Also who'd have thought Cage would both play Superman and Spider-Man in 2018?


    LARRY: Not familiar with this Spidey, but I’m definitely interested.


    MADHERO: Also should probably mention, RIP Steve Ditko, co-creator of the webhead, who passed away at the age of 90. Wouldn't have Spider-Man without him. May he rest in peace.


    STICKMAN: Yeah, that was a sad thing to hear. Influential don't even begin to describe him.


    LARRY: A comic book legend, condolences to his friends and family.


    LEGENDARY ANNOUNCES LIVE-ACTION ADAPTATION OF POPULAR ANIME FRANCHISE GUNDAM

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    Another day,  another anime for Hollywood to  adapt/ruin. This time, its the turn of mecha anime series Gundam to go through the Hollywood grind, with production company Legendary announcing that Anime Expo that they're working on an live-action adaptation of the property, with Cale Bayter (producer of Pacific Rim) overseeing the project alongside the Sunrise creative team, the rights holder of the franchise. The movie, based on the press release, will follow the original Universal Century storyline, in which Earth finally achieves space colonization,  but ends up in civil war for autonomy and independence....THROUGH MECHAS! Cue messages about colonialism, anti-war and so forth.


    Gundam in and of itself needs no introduction, being one of the biggest Japanese franchises of all time, making billions with its dozens of tv series, movies and of course merch. Lots and lots of merch. With it having gone on for so long, I've personally always found a tad impenetrable, with literally dozens of shows and continuity that's been going on since the late 70s.  So a major Hollywood movie to provide as a starting point seems good, but that said. Hollywood's anime adaptation track record is.... not great. Expect to hear more soon once we get to the director/producer/casting stage.


    STICKMAN: Giant robots back at it again.


    LARRY: Well, you can thank the international box office for that. China makes big bucks.


    MADHERO: Gundam is super huge in Asia. Not sure how big in China, but as one of the biggest mech series of all times, it'll likely find its audience worldwide.


    LARRY: Big mechs. Something we can all bond over.


    STICKMAN: When are we going to get Gundam & Pacific Rim Vs Godzilla & Mothra All Out Monster Robot Attack Battle Royale


    LARRY: 20-Never


    MADHERO: Its a bit weird to talk about it, because I've never been able to get into Gundam because of the age old "where the fuck do I start." I know Wing is popular in the US because it aired on Toonami at the time, and one of the newer ones outside the continuity is supposed to be pretty good.


    LARRY: Yeah I've seen mostly Wing.


    STICKMAN: I'm always a huge fan of giant robots with big swords and guns and shit, but like you say...where does one even start with any Gundam series.


    MADHERO: I need to know the one with the big windmill bot and the one with Big Zam so I can go "oh hey, Big Zam"


    STICKMAN: Nice reference DUDE.


    LARRY: #BigZam2018


    MADHERO: More details to come soon. Then we can talk about how they're blowing it.


    JIM CARREY TO PLAY DR EGGMAN/ROBOTNIK IN LIVE ACTION/CG ANIMATED FILM OF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG

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    Sometimes, this 24 hour news cycle blesses us with news that could only exist within the very moment in time it is revealed, and god dammit, this is one of those times. Jim Carrey is currently negotiating to play Eggmanm, yes really, in the new 2019 film adaptation of Sonic the Hedgehog from Paramount and Deadpool director Tim Miller. No, this is not a joke. He would joining the likes of James Marsden and Tika Sumpter, with newcomer Jeff Fowler set to direct. Still not a joke, stay with me.


    The very image of Carrey sporting the bald head, goggles, and spruced up mustache is enough to make any Jim Carrey fan absolutely squeal in delight. For all we know, this could be a return to form for Carrey, known for his over-the-top, wildly physical performances. Or this could be one of the most absurd, ridiculously cringe-y takes on Robotnik in the franchise's history. I don't know. But either way, I'm happy to see Carrey getting another role, as he is one of my all-time favorite comedians. Though he has some controversial opinions, and is probably a bit more than insane in the membrane, he still holds a special place in my heart and I look forward to seeing what comes of this, should it solidify.


    STICKMAN: WHAT THE FUCK


    LARRY: ALL ABOARD THE HYPE TRAIN CHOOOO CGOOOOOOOO! GOTTA GO FAST


    MADHERO: I made a Twitter post with the news that literally was just Fucking WHAT! and it got over 400 RT's. It was wild.


    STICKMAN: I like how you're on board with this but will burn Detective Pikachu to the ground.This Sonic movie is sounding like the biggest traincrash in cinema history. I'm here for it.


    MADHERO: Jim Carrey was certainly not who I had in mind for the role, but I'm kinda there for it just to see it. Everything I hear from this movie doesn't exactly fill me with confidence.


    LARRY: Because Jim Carrey is kinda perfect for Eggman, tbh. Put him in the makeup and suit and he could kill it. He's lanky and physical, does voices, is over the top, THAT'S EGGMAN.


    STICKMAN: Eggman is the least lanky person I ever saw. He's literally a ball.


    LARRY: Have you seen that guy's legs?


    MADHERO: Maybe he's thinking of Sonic 06 Eggman. It would be his first role in a mainstream film in a while. His last was....shit, Dumb and Dumber 2?


    STICKMAN: Sonic 06 Eggman is a cursed nipple monster.


    LARRY: Yeah, that's the closest he's come to being actually recreate-able for a live-action film. Just put him in a fatsuit and it’ll be fine.


    MADHERO: Wake me up when we get a Blonic movie.


    LARRY: The point is, Eggman has never been this character we put on some fucking pedestal so I don't see how this couldn't work. Or, if it doesn't work, it's gonna be amazingly awful and we'll all get a good kick out of it.


    STICKMAN: If you put Eggman on  a pedestal he'd roll off and crack open on the floor.


    MGM WORKING ON A REMAKE OF CHILD’S PLAY WHILST ORIGINAL FRANCHISE IS CONTINUING ON TV

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    There's so many long-running slasher franchises around, it's often hard to remember them all. One of the more successful, whilst still mostly cult-based series' is Child's Play, better known by its later titular character, Chucky. Child's Play was a pretty big hit back in the late 80's/early 90s, ending its cinema run in 2004 with Bride of Chucky, before later seeing a revival in two direct to DVD sequels in 2013 and 2017.  Last we heard, the franchise was going to continue via TV with the original creators and Brad Dourff back as Chucky. So that makes it odd to hear that a SECOND Child's Play project is in the works, and it's a reboot.


    MGM have fast-tracked a contemporary remake of the original movie with newcomer Lars Klevberg at the helm, and the producers of last year's smash-hit...IT (Sorry) keeping things in check. Presumably this would follow the trend of most horror reboots and be a more gritty and serious take on the gloriously campy original, which could work, or not... It feels a bit like the Evil Dead remake paired with Ash vs Evil Dead, but at least the latter only came to be AFTER the movie. A strange situation, but who knows, maybe we'll get something fun out of both.


    LARRY: Fuck Chucky. That little satanic booger gave me nightmares as a kid.


    STICKMAN: WOAH LARRY. CHILL OUT DUDE.


    LARRY: He can go to hell.


    STICKMAN: Hi I'm Chucky, wanna play?


    LARRY: NO YOU CERTAINLY MAY NOT! INTO THE FIREPLACE YOU GO


    MADHERO: One of the Mexico players's nickname is Chucky because he scared his teammates as a kid. And one of those teammates: Larry Fried.


    LARRY: Damn straight. On a serious note, yeah I think Annabelle has the sorta "creepy doll" horror market right now. Not sure we need yet another.


    STICKMAN: I'm a big fan of the original Child's Play but have never seen any of the sequels, not sure people are chomping at the bit for more killer doll movies. Annabelle's boring tho, just turns her head and shit.


    MADHERO: Chucky ain't really scary as an adult, but I can see as a kid why he'd be terrifying. I feel like this new take would go an Annabelle take, which seems...... not my jam


    STICKMAN: Annabelle and Chucky should do a crossover movie.


    LARRY: Annabelle is the new Wife of Chucky! Bam, hella marketing deal, wow.


    STICKMAN: BRIDE OF CHUCKY EXISTS ALREADY, YOU FOOL.


    MADHERO: We're doing the work for them. Let's see how this pans out and whether this new take will be anything worthwhile.


    DISNEY CLOSES DOWN DIRECT-TO-DVD STUDIO DISNEYTOON STUDIOS, CANCELLING A NEW PLANES MOVIE IN THE PROCESS

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    If you're a child of the 90's, there's a good chance you've come across a Direct to DVD Disney sequel in your life. From Lion King 2, Aladdin: Return of Jafar, Bambi 2, and so many different sequels of varying but mostly bad quality. All of those films were made  by DisneyToon Studios,  which has now been shut down effective immediately, leading to the firing of 75 employees and the cancellation of a new Planes and Tinkerbell movie.


    Starting out as MovieToons, where they made not only those sequels, but other smaller films like the Ducktales movie, the Winnie the Pooh sequels, and probably most famous for 90s kids everywhere:  A Goofy Movie. A lot of these films were made under the leader of Michael Eisner, but when Bob Iger took over and John Lasseter became head of animation, he restructured the company to focus on spin-offs like Tinkerbell and Planes. With the rise of streaming, their existence became redundant (this was already planned for a while and not just caused by Lasseter's exit). Its sad for the people that lost their job, and I wish them success in finding something new.


    STICKMAN: I do wonder if there wasn't a need for studios like this to make easy, cheap(ish) content for their new streaming service. Surely that's the new direct to DVD home.


    LARRY: Absolutely.


    MADHERO: I imagine there's other studios for that. Disney ain't exactly strapped for content with or without a Fox deal.


    STICKMAN: I can't say I was exactly a big fan of their output. Even 90s Kids favourite, The Goofy Movie, which is some real cringe I gotta say.


    LARRY: I love some DisneyToon films, the Goofy films especially, but...yeah their legacy will always be marred by a fuck ton of shitty cash grabbing sequels sadly.


    MADHERO: A Goofy Movie is really fun, but super cheesy. Their output was not the best, a lot of it was terrible, but they did the best with what they had to work. Like, there's some surprisingly decent sequels in the mix. Lion King 2 is better than it has any right to be.


    LARRY: For every Lion King 2, there's about three Hunchback 2's. So.


    STICKMAN: Shame to hear about the people losing their jobs. At least the studio got a good run at it. We'll never see Planes in space now.


    LARRY: No yeah, seeing people lose jobs always sucks. This is sad news. I just felt like it was inevitable at some point.


    MADHERO: It sucks for the people that lost their jobs. Hopefully they'll find something soon. Its a weird legacy to have, but I've watched plenty of the films they made, and especially as a kid, they entertained, so thanks for that.


    STICKMAN: Thanks for the Goofy internet memes.


    LARRY: Long Live The Goofy Movie. And An Extremely Goofy Movie, that film is awesome.


    GRETA GERWIG’S (LADY BIRD) IS A NEW ADAPTATION OF LITTLE WOMEN. CAST INCLUDE SAORISE RONAN, EMMA STONE, MERYL STREEP AND MORE.

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    Nothing like some solid post-Civil War period dramas to get your engines revving. One that has been often adapted is "Little Women," a novel by Louisa May Alcott about the story of the March sisters and their relationships over the course of several years. It has been many feature films, a musical, a BBC mini-series, and even an anime. But now, Greta Gerwig will helm a new feature film adaptation after her debut with Lady Bird, and it has recently scored some major talent, including "Lady Bird" stars Saoirse Ronan and Timothee Chalamet, as well as Meryl Streep, Florence Pugh, and Emma Stone.


    Their roles are unknown, and they are still negotiating, but if they were to come on board, it would be an excellent cast already, and they are still looking for more. And....yeah, this is a solid story with strong female characters, and Gerwig has proven she has a strong directorial voice with Lady Bird. I think this could be a great project for her, as it is another coming-of-age story, though a lot more period, which provides a fun challenge. Here's hoping this turns out good, or shall I say....ahem, "ASTONISHING." That's a reference to the musical. None of you get it. Sigh.


    MADHERO: Guilty as charged, I didn't get it, but I'm in for whatever Gerwig does next after Lady Bird.


    STICKMAN: I don't even know what this film's about. Is it a sequel to The Borrowers.


    LARRY: No, silly.


    MADHERO: Do I need to watch the anime to understand it?


    LARRY: Noooooooo


    MADHERO: In all seriousness, that's a really amazing cast of actors, with 4 Oscar nominees and Pugh is also a really big talent. I can't say I'm familiar with the material, but Gerwig really impressed me with Lady Bird, so I'm really curious what she does next. Does sound a little more "traditional" though.


    STICKMAN: I have yet to see Lady Bird but I shall see it at some point. This film doesn't exactly scream out at me interest-wise, but hey ho. Good cast, good director.


    LARRY: Yeah the story is a little...ahem, plain. It's strictly a family drama and little else, but it's an actor's piece usually. So, at the very least, we'll see some damn good performances probably.


    MADHERO: Confirmed to be sweeping the 2019 Oscars.


    STICKMAN: Meryl Streep in a movie that's less about telling a story and more about her getting an Oscar nomination? I can't believe it.


    LARRY: Probably.


    MADHERO: So yeah, new Gerwig project with major talent. Exciting stuff. I'll just watch the anime and skip to the part where the robots pop up.


    STICKMAN: This one's for you, Greta. I know you're a fan of Screwvies.


    ------------------------

    MADHERO: Alright, that's it for the news, and now its time once again for a review! We've been doing a lot of those recently. While the song in the trailer may say that it takes two to make a thing go right, Larry has to do it on his own, as he's the only one here to have seen the 20th MCU film: Ant-Man and the Wasp. What with it not being out here yet and stuff.


    STICKMAN: Time for me to go bury my head in the sand and scream for a while.


    LARRY: Geez you're so passionate about this lol


    STICKMAN: I LIKED ANT-MAaAAAAAAN


    MADHERO: Ant-Man is a lovely man and I want to see him on his anty adventures, but you did, Larry. Once again, Ant-Man opens after a Avengers film to provide a bit of a breather, and hey, its the first time a female character is in the title. So Larry. Does it get the job done?


    REVIEW

    ANT-MAN AND THE WASP

    DIRECTOR: Peyton Reed (Yes Man, Ant-Man)

    STARRING: Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Michael Douglas, Michael Pena, Michelle Pfeifer,  Hannah John-Karmen, Walton Goggins, Laurence Fishburne

    SYNOPSIS: Scott Lang (Rudd) tries to balance his home life as a father with his responsibilities as Ant-Man. When Hope van Dyne (Lilly) and Hank Pym (Douglas) present him with a new mission to bring to light secrets from their past, Lang teams up with Van Dyne as the new Wasp.

    LARRY: I'd say so, yeah. I really enjoyed the first Ant-Man, I found it to be incredibly funny with excellent performances from Paul Rudd and Michael Douglas. It brings the same, laugh-a-minute comedic stylings from director Peyton Reed while also supplying kickass, creative action sequences. The performances all across the board are excellent, it feels closer to an ensemble piece this time around and its great.

    The film also has a lot of heart concerning Janet Van Dyne's character, as well Scott Lang's daughter Cassie, which helped balance out the humor. What really holds it back is the story, which, while entertaining, is just a tad too jumbled. It has one too many characters and sideplots to truly feel cohesive, and so it lacks smoothness there. Otherwise, I had a blast with it; I'd definitely consider it one of the funniest Marvel films to date.


    MADHERO: Marvel seems to have really found their knack when it comes to comedy. Obviously we know that's there, but what always really stood in the first Ant-Man were those small scale battles, like on a toy train track or a briefcase. Are those types of fights still there?


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    LARRY: Absolutely!! There are plenty of fun moments where Pym's tech is used to resized household objects, and I got a real kick out of them. I don't wanna spoil them, but needless to say they're lots of fun. They reeeeeeally ran with it here.


    MADHERO: That's great to hear. There's a lot of fun shrinking and growing in the trailers, so I'm in for that. The Wasp is now in the title, and does she do enough to earn the equal billing? Its a good thing to finally have a female character in the title.


    LARRY: Yeah, Evangeline Lily is a great actress and she carries a lot of the film's emotional moments, along with Michael Douglas. They have a great chemistry with each other as father and daughter. Same goes for her and Rudd, though I value them more as fun partners than the romance they keep trying to push.


    MADHERO: How about some of the newer additions. I don't know how much Ghost is in it, but her suit design is really cool. Same goes with Walton Goggins. And of course, Janet van Dyne herself: Michelle Pfeifer and Laurence Fishburne defecting from the DCEU. How are they all?


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    LARRY: Again, I said this film is largely an ensemble piece, as everyone really gets to shine. Hannah John-Kamen as Ghost is a solid villain with a backstory that helps make her feel more connected to the MCU than most other throwaway Marvel baddies. Pfeiffer and Fishburne are as excellent as you'd expect, managing to find the depth and nuances in otherwise small roles. Goggins is great, but I found his character to be ultimately expendable; they don't do much with him and it doesn't add much to the film. Wish they cut all that out. OH AND SHOUT OUT TO RANDALL PARK He's hysterical in this as a police chief watching over Scott Lang on house arrest.


    MADHERO: Good to know that everyone in the essemble brings their A-game. How connected do you think everything feels? We know this takes place before Infinity War, so we're good on that part, but do we need to do any more MCU homework?


    LARRY: Not really, you arguably don't even have to have seen the first Ant-Man to follow it, though it would probably help if you did. It connects with Civil War a little, but the movie explains it fairly well. Ya may wanna stay during the credits, though, heehee.


    MADHERO: Awesome. I think that's enough questioning. Anything you want to say in your wrap-up?


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    LARRY: This is definitely a comedy first, so go in expecting lots of laughs and less major epic mind-blowing superhero explosions and such. Peyton Reed has proved he has a strong comedic voice with this sequel and I look forward to seeing if they continue having him tackle the Ant-Man character. It's tons of fun.


    --------------

    STICKMAN: I have a question. Does at any point, Ant-Man go small, climb inside  Thanos' ass and then turn into Giant-Man, thus defeating Thanos.


    LARRY: Sadly, no.


    MADHERO: Ah dang. I was hoping for that. Guess I'll just look at some of the other movies to see if they do have a small man climb into Thanos' ass.


    STICKMAN: Let's hope, what else is out.


    MOVIES

    THE FIRST PURGE

    DIRECTOR: Gerard McMurray (Burning Sands)

    STARRING: Y’La Noel, Marisa Tomei, Melonie Diaz, Lex Scott Davis, Joivan Wade

    SYNOPSIS: To push the crime rate below 1% for the rest of the year, the New Founding Fathers of America (NFFA) test a sociological theory that vents aggression for one night in one isolated community. But when the violence of the oppressors meets the rage of the marginalized, the contagion will explode from the trial-city borders and spread across the nation

    MADHERO: Hoho, guess we're startin' SPICY!


    LARRY: Guys, The Purge just works. It just works.


    STICKMAN: Maaaaan The Purge, what  a waste of space. Every time you hope maybe this time they make it work, but they always fuck it up. If John Carpenter had made this film it'd be great.


    MADHERO: I find it interesting how the films have gotten angrier and definitely a lot more left-wing. Don't see many movies teasing using an MAGA hat.


    STICKMAN: It's all so shallow though. There's no actual commentary, it's just saying the things and pretending that's strong thematics.


    LARRY: This film is apparently explicitly political.


    MADHERO: You mean these movies aren't particuarely subtle?


    STICKMAN: mean more they always market themselves as political films but all they do is say BLACK PEOPLE ARE OPPRESSED and then blow a door up or whatever.


    LARRY: Eh, the other films have apparently not really been that politically relevant, unlike this one which deals with race and class and poverty.


    STICKMAN: Larry I've seen the films. They all deal with race, class and poverty.


    MADHERO: I've seen Anarchy and Election Year. They are SUPER Political. I thought it was ok. From the reviews it sounds like its once again split.


    STICKMAN: Election Year was also SUPER shit.


    LARRY: Well clearly neither Anarchy and Election Year gave much of a shit about the actually oppressed people.


    STICKMAN: Larry you ain't seen the films stop telling us what they are.


    MADHERO: Maybe we should hold a purge but have it be about dumb hot takes and just have them all out there instead of murder.


    HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 3: SUMMER VACATION

    DIRECTOR: Genndy Tartakovsky (Hotel Transylvania, Hotel Transylvaia 2)

    STARRING: Adam Sandlet, Selena Gomez, Andy Samberg, Asher Blinkoff, Kevin James, Steve Buscemi, Kathryn Hahn

    SYNOPSIS: Dracula, (Sandler) and his family (Gomez, Samberg) and friends (James, Buscemi etc.) take a vacation on a luxury Monster Cruise Ship. There, Dracula becomes attracted to the ship's mysterious captain Ericka (Hahn), who is secretly the great-granddaughter of his archenemy Abraham Van Helsing.

    MADHERO: Now that he's finally finished Samurai Jack, Genndy Tartakovsky is back on his Adam Sandley/vampire bullshit.


    STICKMAN: Hotel Transylvania is the cinematic equivalent to me eating a Mars bar and going into a horrific sugarrush.


    MADHERO: The Hotel Transylvania movies are.....fine. They're fine. Super bouncy which is something Tartakovsky is a big fan of when it comes to comedy. I found them both to be average and a tad too hyperactive, but then again I'm old and tired.


    LARRY: I genuinely don't get it. The first HT was fine. Average. Mediocre, really. WHY DID THEY MAKE TWO MORE.


    MADHERO: Because they make money?


    LARRY: God why must they make money... Whatever, passity pass pass on this one.


    STICKMAN: Adam Sandler is very much the modern Dracula.


    MADHERO: A lot of "ehh, its fine" movies make lots of money. Look at Minions.


    STICKMAN: But I hear it's got political subtext though. Inequality for monsters.


    LARRY: CANT WAIT FOR SANDLER TO DICTATE INEQUALITY TO MY FACE


    MADHERO: The status quo of heteronormality and the nuclear family. But with MONSTERS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO


    STICKMAN: SMASH THAT CEILING, SANDLER.


    SKYSCRAPER

    DIRECTOR: Rawsom Marshall Thurber (We’re the Millers, Central Intelligence)

    STARRING: Dwayne Johnson, Neve Campbell, Chin Ha, Pablo Schreiber, Bryon Mann

    SYNOPSIS: former FBI agent Will Sawyer (Johnson) lives in the tallest and "safest" skyscraper in Hong Kong as head of security with his family (Campbell, The building comes under attack by terrorists, forcing Sawyer to take action.

    STICKMAN: Oh no, Adam Sandler smashed the ceiling of this skyscraper and caused a disaster.


    MADHERO: Die Hard but......with an amputee and in China?


    LARRY: I just wanna watch the scene where The Rock uses his leg to go down the elevator shaft or whatever. I'd pay ticket price for that alone.


    MADHERO: I just wanna see him miss the jump and fall to his demise.


    STICKMAN: I want to see the same shot of him in a helicopter wearing a white t-shirt again. From all his other films.


    LARRY: BUT THIS TIME HES AN AMPUTEE


    STICKMAN: Insert searing commentary on giving disabled actors disabled roles here.


    MADHERO: When we'll discuss Dwayne Johnson's careeer, a lot of these types of films will pop up. The very average films he elevates with his charm but are pretty much films you watch on Netflix or on a plane.


    STICKMAN: I saw the whole film in a trailer I saw in IMAX 3D, I think I'm set for Skycraper, thanks guys.


    LARRY: Jumanji 2 was good tho...but I did watch it on a plane.


    MADHERO: SEE! EXACTLY MY POINT PROVEN


    SORRY TO BOTHER YOU

    DIRECTOR: Boots Riley (directorial debut)

    STARRING: Lakeith Stanfield, Tessa Thompson, Jermaine Fowler, Terry Crews, Danny Glover, Steven Yuen, Armie Hammer, David Cross, Patton Oswalt

    SYNOPSIS: In an alternate present-day version of Oakland, telemarketer Cassius Green (Stanfield) discovers a magical key to professional success, propelling him into a macabre universe.

    LARRY: OH HERE WE GO


    MADHERO: Well this looks.....wacky.


    STICKMAN: Wait a sec, I feel a freestyle rap coming on. In character of course.


    MADHERO: Is this character oddly homophobic?


    STICKMAN: WELL, FUNNY YOU MENTION THAT


    MADHERO: So yeah, weird lead actor controversy aside, this movie looks pretty dope and wild.


    LARRY: I'm super excited. Cast looks amazing, editing looks nuts, I'm here for it.


    STICKMAN: My interest has been a bit tempered by current eventtssss but yeah it looks fun. It's not out here though so never mind.


    MADHERO: One hell of a cast, and a real sense of style and place. Reviews at Sundance say that it goes to some pretty crazy levels, and I guess that's what happens when you let a creative mind like Boots Riley go nuts on his first feature.


    LARRY: Apparently this is based on an album, fun fact.


    STICKMAN: Is it an rap album, Larry. A character based one.


    LARRY: Oh shut up lol


    STICKMAN: Sorry to bother you, Larry!


    EIGHTH GRADE

    DIRECTOR: Bo Burnham (directorial debut)

    STARRING: Elsie Fisher, Josh Hamilton, Emily Robinson, Daniel Zolghadri

    SYNOPSIS: A teenager (Fisher) tries to survive the last week of her disastrous eighth-grade year before leaving to start high school.

    STICKMAN: A24 back at it again.


    LARRY: The indie champ is blessing us with two big hitters this month. Bless.


    MADHERO: O good, the horror of facing my awkward teenage years on screeeeeeen. I'm not prepared.


    STICKMAN: Is this scarier than Hereditary in that regard.


    LARRY: Probably.


    MADHERO: Watching the trailer already made me nervous. It kinda makes me glad that social media wasn't as much a thing when I was in that grade, cause howee.


    STICKMAN: Is Bo Burnham a real name or is it like a joke one.


    LARRY: It's real, Stix. Bo is short for Robert.


    MADHERO: I've heard this movie  be called the anti-John Hughes movie, so I guess this ain't gonna romanitcize high school a lot.


    STICKMAN: A24 are in the business of making good films, or at least conceptually interesting ones, so I wouldn't expect to go into this to be bored.


    LARRY: Not even a little. This film is probably a slow burn, grounded comedy but I'm down for that. I think Bo Burnham is a really smart, talented comedian and I'm excited to see how his voice translates to film.


    STICKMAN: I just hope Black Philip turns up in this, wearing a little goat school uniform, eating an apple.


    MADHERO: If the trailer already made me feel awkward, I don't think I can take 90-100 minutes of that. Anyway, that's it for all the movies this week, but at least we got MOVIE OF THE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK


    ----------------------

    MADHERO: As always, we discuss DVD/VOD and cinematic releases here. With this current heatwave, it might be nice to escape a bit and go to a nice refreshing cinema, which I think we all did, so great plan, everyone!


    STICKMAN: It's my only escape from the constant nightmare of football.


    LARRY: And the constant nightmare that is my life.


    MADHERO: Oh.....this got dark way too quick. Uhmmmm.... LARRY WHAT'S YOUR MOVIE OF THE WEEK?


    STICKMAN: SOMETHINGSHITIBETHAHAHAHAHA


    MOVIE OF THE WEEK

    LARRY: My MOTW is one of the many excellent documentaries to grace indie theaters as of late, with this one having been released wider about a week or so ago, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” Focusing on the life and times of ordained minister and “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” host Fred Rogers, the film discusses the impact he had on not only children’s television, but also on his audience and those around him.

    Beaming with a warm positivity and kind demeanor, he was truly a one-of-a-kind figure. Many are calling this film a sort of shining light in the darkness that is the Trump era, but I personally disagree; this isn’t because it’s bad, rather because this film is much better seen as a humble documentary that will stand the test of time for its heartfelt story. Its really just a plain ol’ celebration. That being said, if you’re looking to feel a HELL of a lot better for any reason, this is surely going to inspire you in more ways than one.


    MADHERO: Mr. Rogers feels like a very American thing, but one that America could really use right now. It's been doing very well for a documentary and I've heard nothing but good things.


    STICKMAN: If it's making people feel happy and inspired, great. I just feel like this is such an American thing and I have no idea what it's about, and it seems mostly based in nostalgia for the guy.


    LARRY: Ehhhhh it is nostalgic in a lot of ways but it doesn’t alienate those who are unfamiliar. You get a good amount of background.


    STICKMAN: I feel like there's a connection that has to have already been made in order to connect with the film on the same level.


    LARRY: I disagree to some extent, but alright.


    MADHERO: I guess that's my biggest question: whether someone who doesn't have an past with Mr. Rogers would feel the same way, but I guess its ultimately about a guy who was decent to his very core and helped people with that.


    LARRY: If it does ever come by you, I wouldn’t think twice honestly. It’s just very feel-good, but it doesn’t patronize.


    STICKMAN : Everyone I've seen who saw the film had a longstanding relationship with the dude, and I doubt it'll come out here, so I guess we'll never know.


    MADHERO: Aight, you grump, what's your Movie of the Week?


    STICKMAN: Well my film's fucking miserable so we're gonna throw Mr Rogers out the window now. A few years ago, a film called Sicario came out. A very dark and nihilistic thriller/drama about cartels, crime and the lengths we should go to stop bad people. A lot of people loved it, we did here at Screwvies, but nobody expected  a sequel. Nonetheless, we got one. Here it is. Sciario 2: Day of the Soldado, or whatever it is depending on where you live. Although it lacks the dark beauty and punch of the original film, as well as Emily Blunt, Sicario 2 is still a...fun(?) ride that should entertain, if not slightly disappoint fans of the previous.



    Needless to say, this is not a happy movie, even more so than the first. This is full on hands dirty nasty, indefensible shit. After an opening 10 minutes that in my opinion go a bit too far in terms of violence, the rest of the film provides a good thriller with an interesting, if somewhat unlikeable cast. It doesn't hold a candle to Sicario, but the sequel is still a good time...if by good time you mean feeling like you've been slapped in the face with someone's dismembered hand for two hours.


    MADHERO: Fun time for the whole family it sounds like.


    STICKMAN: I mean, there sure is... a family in one sequence.


    LARRY: Wow what a ricochet for my choice. Nice work, Stix.


    MADHERO: Is there anything as good in the movie as the dinner table scene or the one at the border. I've been tempted, but I feel like the parts missing are too essential.


    STICKMAN: There's nothing quite as potently memorable in this film, no. There's some shocking sequences, but the most shocking feels almost...overboard?


    LARRY: Impressive that it manages to break though desensitization.


    STICKMAN: I think it sometimes tries too hard to do that.


    MADHERO: I haven't heard much from the overall plot, but some of it sounds a tad..... stupid.


    STICKMAN: It's hard to discuss without spoilers, but it's kinda...open to interpretation depending on where you stand at the end.


    LARRY: Benicio fucking banging the gun seems fairly stupid.


    STICKMAN: I mean that bit's awesome yo. Benicio Del Toro is great in this , in general. He doesn't have the same mystique though. OH WELL.


    MADHERO: I guess so that he can shoot faster. It looks cool in the trailer at least. I feel like this is going to be a Netflix movie for me. I have too many reservations to go see it in theaters. But man, who'd have thought Sicario would be a franchise.


    STICKMAN: It was a fun experience in the cinemas....but what about you, Mad...did you see anything...INNN...teresting?


    MADHERO: Alright, time to bounce back to family friendly fun, but DEFINITELY NOT A KIDS MOVIE! As we already discussed in the previous episode, I've waited FOURTEEN YEARS for an Incredibles sequel. That original is easily one of my favorite Pixar movies and maybe even one of my favorite superhero movies. I was super excited for the sequel, but also of course a bit cautious. Could it live up to my high expectations? We know that long awaited Pixar sequels can disappoint (hi, Finding Dory).



    Luckily, Incredibles 2 does not disappoint at all. I don't think it transcends the original, in that it doesn't have quite as many iconic moments as the first one, but its still an incredibly fun superhero romp. Its also really funny, with Jack Jack really bringing the most of the laughs.  So yeah, glad to see my expectations were met and I await an Incredibles 3 should they decide to get around that.


    STICKMAN: What about that Bao though.


    MADHERO: Bao was so fucking cute and heartwarming.


    LARRY: Y’all heard my thoughts last episode, seems to concur with Mad. Not better than the original but a worthy successor.


    STICKMAN: I'm curious about the level of sentimentality in this film, I haven't heard much about tears being jerked or nothing, which is odd for a Pixar movie in this day and age.


    MADHERO: Yep, said movie is very good. Not original good, but definitely worthwhile. I don't think there's much tearjerkery involved.


    LARRY: Yeah it’s not Inside Out level or anything. The third act is pretty straightforward, too much action to cry about.


    STICKMAN: Nice, that's a fun change of pace. I'm always down for action over crying.


    MADHERO: Its definitely interesting to see these characters now compared to 2004. Shows just how far we've come with CG animation.


    LARRY: Ugh the animation is so much better. Watching it a second time makes it even clearer.


    STICKMAN: I hear it makes the original film kinda hard to watch now.


    MADHERO: I haven't tried that yet, but I can imagine. We'll see when I rewatch it... again, because its The Incredibles


    STICKMAN: I have only seen it once and I guess I should rewatch it soon and see if I want to watch a sequel.


    LARRY: Yeah it would help I suppose.


    -----------

    MADHERO: I think that about wraps everything up for today. Join us next week when we all get a movie at the same time. I dunno, I haven't checked the overall schedule for Mission Impossible. So no idea when we all get to see Tom Cruise jump out of a plane.


    STICKMAN; Tom Cruise is a crazy person and will strike again if we're not careful. Also UK GETS MISSION IMPOSSIBLE TWO DAYS EARLIER THAN THE US. MWAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.


    MADHERO: Couches everywhere be warned.  Also avoid your mom cause Mamma Mia 2 is happening as well. Don't wanna get involved in that mess. Aight bye


    LARRY: Tom Cruise jumping out of things might as well be America’s new kink. Adios muchachos.

  • 2018 and the Year of RTX

    1 month ago

    Mousebrat Bring me to your coffee.

    My RTX buddies have been doing a lot of reminiscing this week and it's made me reflect on what a weird and awesome year 2018 has been so far. 


    I started it off unemployed, depressed, and unhealthy. Since January, I've:


    - found a new group of friends and a community of nerds who are part of a bigger community of fellow nerds

    - started working out again and actually stuck with it and am seeing progress for the first time in ten years

    - started a new job that ended up being better than I thought it could be

    - celebrated Pride in NYC with new friends

    - revived an old photography hobby

    - and celebrated turning 33 (I only have to last one more year to beat Jesus)


    This is also the year that I'm finally going to RTX after failing to plan appropriately the last 4-5 years. After having been a fan of RT for 15 years, this is big for me. Fan status started with downloading new RvB videos in my dorm in college whenever someone sent an email around with a link and building. RT stuff was banned, so it was a secret thrill every time a new episode went out. Looking at how much content is out there today and how much of my life I happily spend consuming it and cheering RT on with each win, it's a good time to be a fan. 


    Less than a month to go! 

  • So how has everyone been?

    1 month ago

    DimityJessup

    I am good...


    Well 


    I am excited


    Its nearly time to travel back to the USA, its nearly time for RTX Austin!!!


    Its been 4 years since I first travelled to the USA and I can’t believe that I’ll be going back, but this time with Ashley!! I am excited for good food and hopefully seeing some of the international community that I haven’t seen in years. I arrive in Austin 1st August and fly out morning of the 8th of August, don’t have much planned for the Monday/Tuesday after RTX.


    Also going to Disneyland and Universal Studios in LA after RTX.


    But until we leave, I am pretty much working 40 hours plus each week, from going from 10 hours to 40 or more is a big jump.

  • 30 Days until Austin Time!!

    1 month ago

    Brunty023

    Everything is set!

    Merch runs for a few people have all been organised!

    Flying up from Sydney, Australia to Austin in 30 days!

    Cannot control the hype!


    RTX Austin is not that far away!


    You can feel the electricity in the air as the days are just whizzing by!

    All that's left is the money and hopefully the dollar will be good enough to make the conversion...


    LET'S GO!!

  • How I View Summer

    1 month ago

    Paul-1122

    Despite being out of High School for 8 years, I still enjoy the summertime & view it as a setup for wanting to be a better person & redefining myself in a way that help me move forward in life, aside from just doing any fun stuff (like reading through the Original Yu-Gi-Oh! manga which I plan to do this summer along with playing more Halo & having a fun time whenever I can) fun & memorable, meaning that for my 2018 summer (just like back in my 2009 summer, between Grades 11 & 12), I'll be doing a lot in order to be the kind of person that I expect myself to be, both inside & outside my passion for Rooster Teeth whether it'd be finding new ways to meet & make new friends or having a fun time & making new memories along the way.

  • At the Screwvies: Episode 111

    1 month ago

    g1Features

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    MADHERO: GOOOOOOOOLAZO! Oh I'm sorry, I'm just pre-occupied with the World Cup and not all too much with movies. It happens. Anyway, since Hollywood and America is general don't give a shit, they might as well get their dinosaur movie now: one that's been out here for weeks now. Don't see that very often.


    LARRY: What cup? Do you put like worldly drinks in there?


    STICKMAN: I am taking the ball and going home


    MADHERO: Oh no, the ball is gone. Guess the World Cup is cancelled. Might as well get into some movie news for distraction.


    STICKMAN: That's more liiiike it. HEERE WE GOOOO


    NEWS

    STAR WARS SPIN-OFFS REPORTEDLY ON HOLD AFTER DISAPPOINTING BOX OFFICE OF SOLO

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    Well this is an interesting turn of events. Even with the tumultuous production, I don't think anyone expected Solo: A Star Wars Story to outright bomb. After all, its Star Wars, and Star Wars is too big to fail. Welp, like Icarus, it flew too close to the sun and its wax wings melted. As it stands, Solo made 344 million in 4 weeks on a 250 million budget (a budget that ballooned thanks to extensive reshoots after the director shakeup). That may seem like a profit, but with added marketing costs, its pretty safe to say to call Solo a dud. What caused that is still up for debate, be it poor marketing, too much competition, or fatigue. Whatever it is, Disney seems to have gotten the memo, as Collider reports that all planned Star Wars spin-offs are on hold.


    Disney themselves hasn't confirmed it, but they hadn't officially confirmed the films were in production either. The spin-offs included a Obi-Wan movie made by Stephen Daldry, and a Boba Fett movie with James Mangold and Simon Kinberg. This does not include the new trilogies at work by Rian Johnson and David Benihoff & DB Weiss. This is in all likelihood for the best. The A Star Wars Story branding  always seemed like a good way to show the other parts of the universe, and not go back to characters that we already know. Rogue One, some characters aside, was much more separate and told its story with a different tone. As much as I'd like to see Ewan McGregor get his fair due as Obi Wan, I'd rather see something different, and not get a SW movie every year. Star Wars is not Marvel, and hopefully that's something Disney learns with this debacle.


    STICKMAN: Star Wars is DEAD. Goodbye, so long.


    LARRY: Okay but this hasn't been confirmed. So like, it's good news but we don't knowyet.


    STICKMAN: THEY'RE DEAD, LARRY. Disney ain't gonna come out and announce they fucked up yo.


    MADHERO: Guess we'll have to wait for that Last Jedi remake to fix everything


    LARRY: I'm ALL for these one-offs getting canned. Just gotta wait and see.


    MADHERO: I trust Collider on this. They tend to be a reliable source. Besides, Disney never confirmed these movies were in development officially, but they defnitely were


    STICKMAN: I wanted Caravan of Courage 2. i'm honestly more interested in seeing Solo Star Han Solo Wars Story Solo A Han now it's this big mess, it doesn't sound like a bad film really.


    LARRY: It's not bad, not at all. It's…. fine.


    MADHERO: I think its ultimately for the best. Star Wars just isn't a franchise where releasing yearly like Marvel works, or maybe only once a year on December. I like Solo, but its not something you need to go out and see


    LARRY: this only fulfills my core belief that the most important part of SW, no matter how you slice it, is the core trilogy and the main story being told.


    STICKMAN: I still feel it's utterly crazy how poor it's done. I think we all knew it wouldn't do as well as previous ones...but sorta fail. Damn. Disney losing money on Star Wars is not something I expected this soon after they started.


    LARRY: I'm not hankering for an Alden Han action figure, so properly supply the low demands...


    MADHERO: I didn't think it would break the billion, but I'm shocked it genuinely bombed.


    STICKMAN: That said, if it causes the necessary course correction? Glad to hear it. I could not deal with annual Star Wars marketing hype and eventual discourse. Let's keep it 2-3 years apart, chaps.


    MADHERO: Rogue One made a billion, so there's something in here that made it not work. My main guess is that it didn't feel different enough. We'll see what happens to Obi and Boba, but they go through some retooling.


    LARRY: If anything, this just means more NEW stories in a galaxy far, far away. New, original shit. And I'm all here for THAT.


    STICKMAN: I want a gritty R rated seedy bounty hunter film. Something completely detached. That, or Caravan of Courage 2. Good luck remaking Last Jedi, you fucking stupid losers.


    MADHERO: Maybe someday. For now the only confirmed movie is Episode IX on December 2019. We'll just have to wait for that. Moving on


    PETE DOCTER AND JENNIFER LEE TAKE OVER FROM JOHN LASSETER AS HEAD OF PIXAR AND DISNEY ANIMATION RESPECTIVELY

    1046810-jennifer-lee-pete-docter-take-la

    Although it seems like a long time away just how game-changing the momentum of the #MeToo movement was, it actually isn't that long ago since John Lasseter, co-founder of Pixar and face of modern Disney animation was outed by a lot of staff as a bit of a massive creep. Being overly touchy feely and obscene with practically all of his female co-workers, he was asked to take a "six month sabbatical" to reflect on his actions and allow Disney as a company to mull over his future with the studios.


    As it stands, The future lies in the hands of others, because he's not getting his job back. Disney've decided to give the two separate roles to long-term, proven members of the company. Pixar's new lead will be Pete Docter , the director of some of Pixars most well known films such as Monsters Inc, Up and Inside Out. Meanwhile Disney Animation's new head will be Jennifer Lee, who co-directed and wrote their biggest most recent hit, Frozen,  in addition to writing the story for Zootopia and Wreck it Ralph. These both seem like good choices for the future of the two biggest animation studios in the business, so hopefully they can maintain, or improve upon the quality of what Disney and Pixar are outputting. Given Pixar's most recent release, The Incredibles 2 easily took the mantle of Best Opening for an Animated Movie in the US this weekend, it doesn't seem like Pixar at least, have much to worry about.


    MADHERO: It was always going to be interesting what they'd do next, cause Lasseter returning seemed like it would create a ton of backlash, but they nailed it on both accounts.


    LARRY: Yeah, these are two solid picks. I personally like Docter's work a LOT more than Lee, but both are confident filmmakers and know how to tell stories that resonate with people.


    STICKMAN: I think most people prefer Pixar to Disney animation in general honestly. Unless it's Cars.


    MADHERO: Docter has been a part of Pixar since the very beginning. It only makes sense that he was one of the guys in line for the role. Lee hasn't been around as long, but has shown her skill


    LARRY: Well when you make FROZEN, you got cred.


    STICKMAN: I kinda thought Unkrich might be the guy, since he worked with Lasseter a lot and then did Coco, BUT...this is good too. Now how about canceling that Toy Story 4, eh? EHHH?


    MADHERO: Also, while we're at it: dammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn, Incredibles 2 made some moolah


    LARRY: It deserves it honestly. It's a worthy sequel by a talented filmmaker.


    MADHERO: The highest grossing opening for a non PG-13 movie is nothing to sniff at.


    STICKMAN: I hear Bao is the real star tho. Clearly.


    WONDER WOMAN SEQUEL NAMED WONDER WOMAN ’84. CHRIS PINE RETURNS AS STEVE TREVOR

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    So, as we've all known for a little while now, Diana and co. are coming BACK for another adventure in a sequel to the smash hit Wonder Woman film. Patty Jenkins and Gal Gadot are set to return, and Kristin Wiig will be playing Cheetah, but besides for that, we haven't heard much about this follow-up. Well, recently we've learned some new details, some cool, some JUICY.


    First off, it's official title, "Wonder Woman 1984," confirms that it will be taking place during the 80s, and it is currently in production. However, what shocked many fans was an official set photo revealing that Chris Pine will be returning as Steve Trevor....but nobody really knows how exactly. Did they resurrect him? Is the photo just a flashback? Is it a young relative of Trevor? Needless to say, speculation is high. And as if that weren't enough, another set photo has revealed that WW's famous invisible jet may jussssst be making an appearance as well, though this has yet to be confirmed. We'll probably find out soon enough though, as we will be getting a teaser this coming Comic-Con.


    MADHERO: Chris Pine with a fanny pack is my new aesthetic.


    LARRY: Okay butttttttt it does kinda undermine his death scene.


    STICKMAN: Gimme that Invisible Jet boys.


    MADHERO: The Inivisible Jet is only something that can be done if you're confident, and I guess that's the case what with Wonder Woman doing so damn well.


    STICKMAN: It sure does, Larry. It suuuuure does. It's like they're bringing him back because he was liked and not because it does anything good for the stoooory.


    LARRY: I'm kinda hoping its a flashback...


    STICKMAN: He's got a dang fanny pack dude.


    MADHERO: Lets be clear: we still don't really know what the story is here. Its probably Steve Trevor.....OR IS IT?! Could it be a red herring? We can only speculate


    LARRY: I reeeeeeally hope it's a red herring. Like a dream sequence or something. I just love that scene from the first WW and this desecrates it.


    STICKMAN: I hope this is a more confident sequel now we've laid the groundwork. The first film has some great moments but was on a whole kinda eh, I feel. That final boss fight was grade A shit, for instance.


    MADHERO: My guess is that he's a bigger part of the story. Maybe something with the space time continuum because that tends to happen in superhero stuff. Out of all DCEU movies, I worry least about Wonder Woman


    LARRY: Yeah let's hope Jenkins can just go all out and not have to stick to trope.


    WARNER BROS AND MGM RELEASES FIRST TEASER TRAILER FOR CREED II

    Its been three years now since Creed came out, and I feel we almost forgot how much of an achievement it really was. It seemed like such a dumb idea to contiue the Rocky series, which had a perfect ending with 2006's Rocky Balboa, and to have it be about Apollo Creed's son, but somehow it all came together, thanks to a great performance from Michael B. Jordan  and Sylvester Stallone (who really should've won the Oscar) as well as Ryan Coogler, who brought a realism and humanity to the series that felt lost. That said, depsite all that, the sequel has been met with trepedation, with the biggest reason being Coogler not returning, with Stallone initially directing  before backing down and giving it to relative unknown Steven Caple Jr, and co-writing Cheo Hodari Coker (Luke Cage).


    Despite that, the premise had always remained the same: Adonis fighting the son of Ivan Drago, the man who killed his father in Rocky IV. Despite that premise, we actually don't get to see Dolph Lundgren in this teaser. Much of it is on Creed, focusing on his need for revenge and Rocky and his girlfriend Bianca trying to back him down from it. We get some training montage moments, including a reference to Muhammed Ali's pool photo, as well as plenty of teases of Ivan Drago's Large Adult Son Viktor, who as it turns out, is an absolute unit that might not be easy to take down. Besides that, there isn't enough there to judge based on this trailer, which is very much in teaser mode. I hope its good, but I continue to have my doubts about whether this will succeed.


    STICKMAN: Glad Assassin's Creed got a sequel.


    MADHERO: They definitely changed a lot with this sequel. Guess the reception got to them loud and clear.


    STICKMAN: Gotta rollll...WITH THE PUNCHES. WAKKA WAKKKAAA.


    LARRY: That underwater boxing shot tho. Shot of the YEAR


    MADHERO: Guess now we know where Michael B. Jordan got his profile pic from. Also I feel so bad for the girl who's retainer broke after seeing him in Black Panther. Her teeth are gonna break from this movie.


    STICKMAN: I ain't seen Rocky  1 2 3 4 or Creed. So I'm...here I guess. Hellooo.


    MADHERO: You only need to see 1 and 4 to get Creed, but you don't need to. Helps with the legacy part, but  it feels surprisingly separate. Its also a great movie.


    LARRY: Creed I was awesome. Let's hope Creed II is even better! SON OF DRAGO


    MADHERO: I've seen the actor in question and holy fuck. I'm in awe of the size of that lad.


    LARRY: It's nuts, I'm so ready for that long take.


    STICKMAN: I'd take that long....drago? Let's move on.


    DISNEY RELEASES FIRST TEASER TRAILER FOR THEIR NEW LIVE ACTION REMAKE OF DUMBO



    When most people hear Tim Burton, the last thing they probably would associate him with is Dumbo, the classic Disney animated film about a big-eared circus elephant. Well, turns out Disney isn't most people, as a while back Burton signed on to direct a live-action remake of that very film, and we have recently gotten our first look at the latest Disney live-action reboot via a teaser trailer.


    And...yeah, it has a bunch of things you'd expect from Dumbo by Burton. An eery yet childlike cover of a well-known song (this one being Baby Mine, a lullaby that originated from the original film), a CGI elephant with some big ol' peepers, not to mention Michael Keaton and Danny DeVito in the same film! Honestly, it looks fine, sorta channeling the more neutral element of Burton's direction. It's kinda as if they just got rid of the weird, dark, cooky crap and kept the whimsy. I'm just hoping Pink Elephants on Parade is as much of an acid trip as it was in the original, cuz sometimes ya just gotta scare the kiddies. Anyway, this is happening, suck it up Sticky.


    STICKMAN: AAAGGHH. I CAN'T SUCK UP ANY MORE DISNEY LIVE ACTION REMAKE BULLSHIT.


    MADHERO: Is it weird that this looks restrained for a Tim Burton movie despite having Danny Devito with a large hat?


    LARRY: I mean, Nobody's gonna go see a dark Dumbo. You HAVE to restrain Burton.


    STICKMAN: Tim Burton should be locked up and given a haircut.


    LARRY: I certainly agree with one of those things.


    MADHERO: Definitely feels more like Big Fish Tim Burton than Alice in Wonderland Tim Burton. The movie already looks a lot different than the movie, which was only an hour long. For one thing, no racist crows so that's a good start


    LARRY: Yeah...though I love the song they sing. DANNY DEVITO SHOULD SING IT.


    STICKMAN: I think it looks god awful but what else is new. People'l still go to see this in droves and make Disney another billion they can spend absorbing the entire entertainment industry instead of MAKING TRON 3.


    MADHERO: Michael Keaton with longer hair looks weird these days


    LARRY: And like...combed and slick? It's odd.


    STICKMAN: Tim Burton's hair merged with Michael Keaton's, forming a superhair.


    MADHERO: What like in Dragonball Z?


    STICKMAN: Sure Mad, like in Dragonball Z. I'm gonna address the...ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM...Dumbo looks ugly as fuck, y'all.


    LARRY: Why exactly did they make him CGI? Take an actual elephant and give him big ears.


    STICKMAN: Ain't gonna use a real elephant, sun. That's animal cruelty mister.


    LARRY: Make it hybrid. Plenty of films have done hybrid shit like this successfully.


    MADHERO: What like in Fullmetal Alchemist? I'm not sure why I keep referencing anime. We should probably move on


    STICKMAN: That dog deserved better.


    ROBERT ZEMECKIS TO MAKE A NEW ADAPTATION OF ROALD DAHL’S THE WITCHES. ALFONSO CUARON AND GUILLERMO DEL TORO INVOLVED

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    Another day, another Roald Dahl movie remake, huh? Robert Zemeckis, director of oh so many films, including a little known franchise called Back to the Future, who's latest film 'Welcome to Marwen' got its first, fucking weird as hell look via a trailer this week, is in final negotiations to remake The Witches. A dark fantasy book released in 1983, with a creepy-ass, not all that great film released in the early 90s, The Witches is a story about a recently orphaned boy and his grandma, who just so happens to be a former witch-hunter, staying in a hotel, where the boy gets on the wrong side of a witch meeting, and ends up turned into a mouse. 


    What happens next is a mixture of silly and also kinda tragic. The original story is very dark, whilst the film is a bit more campy, infamously scary witch make-up aside. A dark childrens film with a lot of potential for uncanny valley SFX seems pretty suited to Zemeckis, who previously directed the gross looking  Polar Express, Christmas Carol, and then produced the disaster of Mars Needs Moms, which got his animation studio shut down.With the promise of a narrative more in keeping with the book this time, it seems like this film will rustle some jimmies when it releases...at some point in the future.


    LARRY: God I love this. Can't wait for more Zemeckis Uncanny-Valley CGI.


    STICKMAN: Stuart Little prequel got dark yo.


    MADHERO: The most interesting thing about this project is the involvement of Alfonso Cuaron and Guillermo del Toro. That seems like it could make for an interesting vision along with Zemeckis


    LARRY: I mean, it's totally called for. The Witches are like....mouse-like demons.


    STICKMAN: Guillermo del Toro could take a shit on the floor  and I'd still pay to see the visual mastery of it.


    MADHERO: The 90's movie's make up was W I L D


    LARRY: It really was a marvel. Let's hope that tradition continues


    STICKMAN: Can't believe they really turned a boy into a mouse, that was dedication to practical effects that you just don't see these days.


    MADHERO: Don't see that make up magic these days. No wonder Rick Baker retired. Its been a while since Zemeckis has done anything for kids. I guess the last thing was his motion capture stuff and that died an ultimately deserving death


    STICKMAN: It's been a while since Zemeckis did anything for anyone, FRANKLY. STEP YOUR GAME UP BOY. DON'T GIVE ME THAT WIRE SHIT. Steve Carell as an army man? Shiieeet.


    LARRY: I mean...Zemeckis has another animated mo-cap movie coming out soon.


    STICKMAN: Never forget Mars needs Moms.


    LARRY: *shivers*


    -----------------

    MADHERO: Alright, that's it for the news. Now its time to talk some DINOSAAAAAAAURS! Yes, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, the sequel to the mindblowingly successfull 2015 film is here to blow up the island once and for all. Now the movie has been out for a while in Urop, which gave me plenty of time to.....not see it. But hey, Stickman did at least, and with the US release now here, Larry did as well.


    STICKMAN: It feels so long ago now it might as well be on DVD.


    LARRY: Might as well have just come out on DVD here.


    MADHERO: Ooooooooooh boy, some drama. The reception has been mixed so far,  and we'll see how it goes here. Since you saw it earlier, how about you start, Stickman? What did you make of this Dino Crisis?


    REVIEW

    JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM

    DIRECTOR: Juan Antonio Bayona (The Impossible, A Monster Calls)

    STARRING: Chris Pratt, Bryca Dallas Howard, Ted Levin, Toby Jones, Justice Smith, B.D. Wong, Jeff Goldblum

    SYNOPSIS: When the island's dormant volcano begins roaring to life, Owen and Claire (Pratt, Howard) mount a campaign to rescue the remaining dinosaurs from this extinction-level event.

    STICKMAN: WELLLLLLL, for me, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom was a mixed bag, but an entertaining one. I feel largely the same as I did with the previous film, but I feel the sequel had some more visually striking moments. Narrative wise it's kinda about to the same quality as the first World film, it's less a well-thought out story and more an excuse to string our band of forgettable human characters through a series of exciting dinosaur set-pieces. This time, as the slogans all said, THE PARK IS GONE, so much as with Jurassic Park 2, it's a post-collapse attempt to rescue some of the dinosaurs, this time because the island is exploding for some reason. 


    Sebyb7Y.jpg


    That's all entertaining enough, if not insanely loud in IMAX to the point where my headache lasted all day, but the film lives or dies by its second half.  A silly, but fun horror'esque sequence which feels a bit more like Resident Evil  in parts than anything Jurassic Park we've seen before. The acting all around is...fine, nothing amazing, the real star of the show is the special effects, and what they do with them. The dinosaurs are a pleasing mixture of practical and CGI, with it getting harder and harder to tell the difference these days. There's some really badass action/horror sequences featuring some dinos we know, and  one we meet for the first time in this film, who was awesome. The ending leaves it open for a hopefully more interesting sequel, but this is perfectly enjoyable popcorn entertainment, nothing amazing, but nothing awful either. And that opening sequence was fun tooooooo.


    LARRY: Well we can agree that the opening was fun. Felt closer to Jurassic Park than anything in the first film.


    STICKMAN: Yeah boooi, them lightening flashes tho.


    MADHERO: Well there's something you agree on. How else do you feel about the film, Larry?


    LARRY: Yeah, not a fan here folks. I'm not a fan of the first Jurassic World; in fact, I wasn't sure how you could be much dumber than what it presented, but leave it to Colin Trevorrow to always one-up himself, giving us one of the sloppiest, most ridiculous stories I've seen in a modern blockbuster, full of holes you could lead a T-Rex through.


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    Several things don't make sense, certain ideas just come and go like nothing, and it leaves on an ending that is perhaps the most shockingly absurd in the entire franchise. As Sticky said, the acting is fine, but the characters themselves are just as hokey, some even more cardboard than before. The film is tonally all over the map, even Giacchino's score sounds largely uninspired. If it wasn't for J.A. Bayona's solid direction, this film would be an utter trashfire. The cinematography has plenty of fun, striking shots that have that thriller, suspenseful energy of the original film's climax. But even with that said, he can't help what is an utterly shit script and a story that reminds me why blockbusters can be so downright stupid.


    MADHERO: O daaaaaaaaaaamn, we've got ourselves some disagreements here. IMO Jurassic World probably is the best JP sequel and it was fun entertainment, but nothing more.


    STICKMAN: I don't really see the issue with dumb blockbuster entertainment. Is it as good as Jurassic Park? Fuck no, but this is our fourth sequel, and none of them have been, so I don't see why this is one is suddenly so egregious to people.


    LARRY: I wish I could go into the ridiculousness, but that would be too spoiler-y. I'd much rather sit through either Lost World or 3 than either Jurassic World or Fallen Kingdom.


    STICKMAN: It's dumb as a box of rocks but it's well crafted stupidity, if you come for dinosaur carnage and not an Oscar winner, you'll have a good time.


    LARRY: But the action isn't even that gooooooooood. Besides for the opening sequence, and one really solid kill, most of the action is really generic and just people flying around everywhere.


    MADHERO: How about the more Resident Evil style 2nd half of the film? I hear that mostly features a big mansion and a new dino in the Indoraptor. How's that thing?


    eXo7Pz0.jpg


    LARRY: Oh you mean Indominous Rex but way more boring?


    STICKMAN: Psschh. The Indoraptor was awesome, I gotta say. Like, again, it's stupid that it exists, but it does, and they made great use of it.


    LARRY: It's literally just a do-over. How can you genuinely excuse this movie for literally RECYCLING its predecessor?


    STICKMAN: They are completely different. Like...it's a different size, it's a different style, and it's in a different location. Calling it the same is as good as saying Jurassic Park is the same as this film because it GOT DEM DINOS IN IT.


    MADHERO: Are any of the other dino's used well? I hear a lot of fun is had with a Pachycephalosaurus


    LARRY: Oh, the one with the big head? Made for okay comic relief for like two scenes. One of the film's many fun concepts that aren't really used to their full potential.


    STICKMAN: He was a good boy yes. I don't know why you're surprised this film is stupid. I went in knowing that and got a dumb film with some awesome set-pieces, a couple surprisingly emotional moments, and a tantalising premise for the third movie. Do I like everything about it? No. Do I think it's great? Not really, but I had fun. That's kinda...what I went for? I'm not trying to defend this movie as a masterpeice but I don't really understand why you hated it so much.


    LARRY: Well given a different director, I was hoping it would be less stupid. Something we can both agree on is Bayona is a far better director than Trevorrow.


    STICKMAN: He's better in his element of horror for sure. I think Terevoerorwow directed the larger scale action better.


    MADHERO: I don't think there's ever been this much of a debate in a review before. Obviously you two aren't going to agree, but are you interested in where its going next, because obviously there's a new one coming.  I think we had enough arguing for the day. Any more final thoughts for the wrap up?


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    STICKMAN: I think on a whole, it's about the same quality as Jurassic World but with a less interesting concept (e.g. The park being open and shit), it's dumb...it's got some stupid moments and leaps of logic, but it delivers dinosaur action, a degree of heart, and a welcome heap of horror. Not great, but fun. Just like the previous one.(edited)


    LARRY: Well, I didn't like the last one, so I don't like this one. But for me, the plot is even worse here, and I found it pitiful how it literally recycles elements from the first film. The worst part is that there are some reeeeeeeally interesting ideas here that get shoved away for dumb dino action when that was never the sole element of what made Jurassic Park great. Sorry for expecting a film based on Jurassic Park to have a good story with good characters and genuine stakes. Also the ending still has my jaw on the floor.


    ---------

    MADHERO: Oof, well with all said and done, how about we move on from all the island-exploding Dino Crisis shenanigans. Now its time to talk some more movies......all 2 of them. Yeah not a big week this time around


    LARRY: Womp womp


    STICKMAN: WHAT'S THAT MEAN. PEOPLE KEEP SAYING IT GOD DAMNIT.


    MADHERO: Uhoh, things about to get political in here. Lets quickly move on to something as to avoid that.


    MOVIES

    SICARIO: DAY OF THE SOLDADO

    DIRECTOR: Stefano Sollima (Gomorrah, Suburra)

    STARRING: Benicio del Toro, Josh Brolin, Isabela Moner, Jeffrey Donovan, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Catherine Keener

    SYNOPSIS: The drug war on the US-Mexico border has escalated as the cartels have begun trafficking terrorists across the US border. To fight the war, federal agent Matt Graver (Brolin) re-teams with the mercurial Alejandro (del Toro).

    MADHERO: Fuck, that avoiding politics business didn't work


    LARRY: Ouch that edge


    STICKMAN: Benicio del Toro  fingerfucks a gun and has a good time.


    MADHERO: I'm still baffled that this movie exists, let alone coming out next week


    STICKMAN: It's kinda weird, I loved Sicario but the sequel I'm all over the place on so far. Like you say, was anyone expecting or wanting a sequel in the first place?


    LARRY: I haven't even seen the first.


    MADHERO: I thought Sicario was great, but not necessarily something that warranted a sequel. Focusing on Del Toro's character is an interesting angle, but with Villeneuve, Blunt and Deakins gone,  you miss some key ingredients


    STICKMAN: And the reviews are kinda a mixed  bag with a mildly positive slant so far. Not as good as the first, but I mean...the fact it isn't completely awful is amazing.


    MADHERO: I think the glue holding this together are both del Toro and Brolin, as well as writer Taylor Sheridan. He's been doing great things so far.


    LARRY: I do love me some Sheridan.


    STICKMAN: I want to like this, but I'm on the fence, the fact that I'm mulling between this or Han Solo says a lot about my mixed feelings.


    UNCLE DREW

    DIRECTOR: Charles Stone III (Lila & Eve, Step Sisters)

    STARRING: Kyrie Iriving, Lil Rel Howery, Shaquille O’Neal, Chris Webber, Tiffany Haddish, Nick Kroll

    SYNOPSIS: Dax (Howery) convinces former basketball playground legend Uncle Drew (Irving) to join a street ball tournament after losing his basketball team to his rival Mookie (Kroll)

    LARRY: Gee, I have a hankering for some Pepsi right now...


    MADHERO: Larry, you gotta help here, because I'm lost


    STICKMAN: What the fuck this shit, boy. Explain yourself, America.


    LARRY: Okay so this is based on a Pepsi advert. And everyone's careers are so desperate that they expanded it


    MADHERO: Like all great films are.


    STICKMAN: You put guys in old man makeup and try to do a comedy based off a fizzy drink commercial and I'm not gonna rush out to see this...if it indeed even comes out here. Because I mean, why would they do that.


    MADHERO: We wouldn't have Pepsiman without Pepsi, and Space Jam existed because of an Nike ad as well. I guess its something about commercials that get turned into feautre length basketball movies


    STICKMAN: Why we get this shit but we never got a Creature Comforts movie, dawg. Aardman where you at.


    LARRY: That's a quality concept.


    MADHERO: Because stop motion takes far more time than making a young basketball player look old. Get this b-ball shit outta here. The REAL shit is on right now.


    STICKMAN: Is it the Tennis. I hear Andy Murray's knee injury could take him out of the running.


    MADHERO: At least its nice to see Lil Rel Howery in more stuff.


    LARRY: That's true.


    ---------------

    MADHERO: Anyway, that's about it from the movies out this week. Not much to work with, but luckily there's MOVIE OF THE WEEK!


    LARRY: Yeeeeaaahhhhh


    STICKMAN: But Mad, with all that football on, who has time for things that aren't football inbetween or on days without a match where you might go see, oh I don't know, Ant-Man and the Wasp maybe.


    MADHERO: Yeah.....where's the time. Still, there's actually plenty of good movies out there to go see right now even with the football, should you want to avoid. So Sticky, what did you watch to avoid anything besides Iceland?


    LARRY: Something shit I bet. Oh, sorry, that was a reference to Iceland.


    MADHERO: wow rude


    MOVIE OF THE WEEK

    STICKMAN: WELLLLL, I watched a film I technically wasn't able to see, but did so legally anyway. Thus well and truly defeating 'THE MAN' once and for all. We've talked about The Breadwinner a few times on the show, and it finally came out in the UK about a month ago, but was literally screened in like, 2 cinemas, meaning I couldn't see it. But I HAVE SEEN IT NOW, and it was....real damn good.

    It's refreshing to see a movie like this be both so dark and full frontal in its subject matter, but also completely accessible and charming for multiple age groups. The narrative following a young girl living in a Taliban controlled region of Afghanistan, where women, and girls are treated like dirt and basically have no rights. Her father gets imprisoned and she ends up having to disguise herself as a boy in order to keep her family alive. There's dark moments, hardships and violence , but it's all presented through the eyes of a child, and with a beautiful animation style that alternates between simplistic but expressive 2D animation, and paper cut-out style fantasy sequences. It feels authentic and believable, and it's genuinely one of the best animated films I've seen for a while.


    MADHERO: This movie is on my Netflix watchlist since it released on that here but I've yet to find the time to watch it.


    STICKMAN: You should find the tiiiime, it's real goooooood.


    LARRY: I watched this and thoroughly enjoyed it for many of the same reasons. If Coco hadn't been nominated, this would've deserved the Oscar honestly.


    STICKMAN: It's kinda a shame Coco was so good, because this would've made a very worthy winner.


    MADHERO: I don't doubt it. Cartoon Saloon has been doing excellent work throughout and they definitely deserve more credit.


    LARRY: Yes. Tells a captivating story with some of the most gorgeous animated sequences I've seen. So much color, so much imagination.


    STICKMAN: Cartoon Saloon deserve way more love, honestly. This is their best film too. It's a real beaut.


    LARRY: Mmmhm. Couldn't recommend it enough.


    MADHERO: What about you, Larry? What did you see? Something in the theater with your friends like a normal person does?


    LARRY: My film is Incredibles 2, which I was lucky enough to see as part of a double feature, alongside its predecessor, in glorious 2D IMAX on my 21st birthday last week. And....yeah, ya can't ask for much of a better present than that. Lo and behold, after 14 years of waiting, Incredibles 2 is more than a worthy successor to the original; while it doesn't reach the brilliant levels of 1, it has just as much comedy and heart, with even better animation and action. It improves in so many ways and ultimately brings the Incredibles to a new generation of fans while satisfying the older generation with plenty of fan-favorites and references to the original.

    I think this film does a great job in genuinely balancing storylines. We have something for everybody here, whether it's the female empowerment of Elastigirl, the bumbling parental struggles of Mr. Incredibles, or the silliness and slapstick of Jack-Jack. It covers many bases but never feels rushed or over-balanced. The story ultimately has some new things to say about the media and perception and family, though its third act does sorta drop everything for some typical action. Again, not as great as 1 but still a fun romp. Overall, I had a blast with it, so much so that I'm probably gonna see it again very soon.


    MADHERO: Oh hey, seeing the movie pretty much everyone in America went to see


    STICKMAN: What about the Bao tho.


    LARRY: Bao is easily one of Pixar's weirdest and most emotional shorts. Loved it.


    STICKMAN: That's the good shit.


    MADHERO: Its funny how very little time has passed in-time and yet its been 14 YEARS!!! Is that in any way noticable in the animation? Incredibles 1 is when Pixar first went full human


    LARRY: Well, people tend to forget the very end of Incredibles 1 is three months after the main events of the film. So SOME time has passed. Just not...14 years.


    STICKMAN: I've seen The Incredibles once...when it came out. All I remember is NO CAPES.


    LARRY: The animation is wholly and completely better. More defined, more dynamic and vibrant. Seeing the end of 1 in better animation just kinda made my heart soar.


    MADHERO: I remember really wanting the actual Incredibles 2 when I was a kid. The Gamecube game about taking down the Underminer, which I guess is non-canon now. It wasn't a particuarely good game, so ehhhhh.  I'm seeing this as soon as I can with the fam.


    STICKMAN: Speaking of seeing something...what did you watch, Mad? Something you haven't watched yet and will be writing about tomorrow instead, I bet?


    MADHERO: So yeah, there's been a World Cup going on, and because of that I really haven't had much time to watch movies, even with the Netherlands not even qualifying for it and therefore having no emotional anchor to really watch it. Some may know that out of the 3 of us, I'm probably the most forgiving of the original Pacific Rim's faults, of which there are plenty. I just found it an extremely enjoyable film, one that probably wouldn't be as good without a gifted filmmaker like Guillermo del Toro. Case in point: Pacific Rim Uprising, a film which I enjoyed, but one where you can tell something is missing.

    Watching giant robots beat the shit out of giant monsters is always fun to watch, and if Uprising does something better than its precursor, its setting most of its action scenes during the day when you can actually see things, which is always nice. Its brisk at less than 2 hours, there's a fun "turn your brain off" aspect to it, and I do think John Boyega is a more interesting protagonist than Charlie Hunnam was. But honestly, it does sort of feel like the heart is ripped out of it. The original Rim wore that on its sleeve, and this meanwhile feels much more made-by-committee and generic. If you're not in that picky of a mood and wanna watch some robots fight each other, you can do far worse, but I'd personally stick to the original


    STICKMAN: Pacific Rim was poopy.


    MADHERO: I'll stick with it till the end of time, but it aint no masterpiece.


    LARRY: I surprisingly enjoyed this. Though I'm still not over Charlie Day fucking a Kaiju brain. One of the weirdest movie moments of 2018.


    STICKMAN: Oh no, not that again.


    LARRY: MAD CAN ATTEST, IM NOT MAKING IT UP


    MADHERO: I feel you kinda overblew that. Its weird for sure, and it leads to an....interesting performance. I just wanted robots fight monsters and I got that.


    LARRY: Mad, c'mon. They play the song "I Wanna Know What Love Is" And he literally looks like he's getting off.


    STICKMAN: DOES HE FUCK THE BRAIN OR NOT. DAMNIT I NEED TO KNOW.


    MADHERO: He does not stick his peepee in a brain, no.


    STICKMAN: THANK FUCK. That's been two weeks of suffering, hearing about that.


    LARRY: Anyway yeah Boyega is great in Uprising, and not enough people are giving him solid credit for this. It proves he can genuinely lead a film. I just thought he was genuinely funny.


    MADHERO: Well he carried a lot of Force Awakens. I liked him, but I wish he was given more personality than "I'm sad and angry at my dead dad"


    STICKMAN: "Pacific Rim Uprising is brain fuckingly good" - At the Screwvies, 2018.


    -------------

    MADHERO: I think that about wraps up everything. Afte collosal dino's, we're now going small, almost like a..... flea, or a gnat.


    STICKMAN: Nah that's not till August I think.


    LARRY: ..ouch.


    MADHERO: Well, we're talking about it anyway. And hey, there's always POLITICS via The Purge. Whatever floats your boat. TIme to get back to the fooootball


    STICKMAN: Purge probably isn’t out soon here either. O WELL, GUESS I’LL DIE. SO LONG!


    LARRY: Adios muchachos

  • MAD Wrestling Podcast: "NJPW Dominion" (2018) - Part 2

    2 months ago

    MadhogthyMaster

    The Dave Meltzer-breaking main event draws near as the lads finish their analysis of the show that stopped many a mark's heart! This card features: Jericho versus Naito, Omega versus Okada, Evil versus his name, Rey Mysterio Jr's debut and Devar versus the correct pronunciation of Los Ingobernables de Japon. Tonight, MADW makes it rain...
    ---
    SUPPORT MADHOG ON PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/Madhog
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    ---
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  • MAD Wrestling Reviews: "NJPW Dominion" (2018) - Part 1

    2 months ago

    MadhogthyMaster

    Freed from the tyranny of the Meek Man, PURO fans Madhog and Devar begin their journey to deconstruct, analyze and quite explicitly mark out on one of the greatest events in the history of Professional Wrestling. Follow them down a road paved in stiff elbows, memorable characters, unnecessarily grandiose theme songs and hot Japanese man-cakes... This is NJPW Dominion 6.9 IN OSAKA JO HALL!!!
    ---
    SUPPORT MADHOG ON PATREON: http://www.patreon.com/Madhog
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  • At the Screwvies: Episode 110

    2 months ago

    g1Features

    tumblr_p8a32rVe5z1vuwsa7o5_r1_1280.png


    MADHERO: Hey, everyone. Welcome to NOT E3. Y'know, cause it ain't E3, but like E3, we do have trailers. Boy o boy do we have trailers. So many trailers that we can't cover them all. Its literally madness.


    STICKMAN: It's MoviE3. It's time to experience entire movies within the space of two minutes.


    LARRY: Literally. So....many....trailers.


    MADHERO: So yeah, I hope you like trailers. As well as long awaited animated movie sequels. Got those in spades as well.


    LARRY: Ooh damn, that's true. But that doesn't roll off the tongue.


    NEWS


    DREAMWORKS RELEASES TRAILER FOR END OF HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON TRILOGY: THE HIDDEN WORLD


    So it feels like its been a while since we've seen Hiccup and Toothless, hasn't it? Not that weird when you consider the sequel came out in 2014. Since then, most of the dragon exploits had been relegated to Netflix, but now here we are, with a teaser trailer for what is billed as "the epic conclusion," and it looks.... well gorgeous for one thing. There's really something about this franchise that makes Dreamworks bring their A-game.


    Most of the trailer consist of the introduction of the Light Fury, a white female version of Toothless who seems to be from a hidden world where all dragons are from, and Toothless' goofy flirting that once again confirms that he's a sweet boy. Said sweet boy is also hunted by F. Murray Abraham though, and Hiccup, now chief of the village, seems to have some tough decisions ahead of him. Also Toothless goes full Thor at the end, so that's neat. Considering the trailer begins with "When I was a boy, there were dragons" there's the suggestion things might be a bit of a bummer. I feel like HTTYD is probably Dreamworks' strongest franchise, so I'm very curious how they stick the franchise and actually give it a proper conclusion.


    STICKMAN: Continued adventures of franchise I don't care much for.


    LARRY: Continued adventures of franchise I used to like but now don't care much for. Its sequel is trash.


    MADHERO: I feel so weird being the one here that genuinely likes these movies considering the high regard they have on the internet. And I can't disagree more on that opinion on the sequel.


    STICKMAN: Most people love this shit, you've been stuck with the two losers who don't. The sequel is better than the original but it's not really a big contest in terms of overall quality for me. STILL...this one looks more of the same.


    LARRY: Ohhhhhh it so is NOT better. In my opinion anyway.


    STICKMAN: I gave HTTYD the ol' college try and neither film impressed me. Happy others are excited thoooough, all about that Toothless.


    MADHERO: This is truly a curse. Can't deny this is looking really pretty though, right?


    STICKMAN: It looks very pretty yeah.


    LARRY: Yes, the animation is stellar. But who the hell asked for Toothless to get a fuck buddy?


    STICKMAN: I wish it were me. That mating ritual bit was pretty amazing.


    MADHERO: Director Dean DeBlois has already said on a Reddit AMA that one of the big themes of the film is letting go, so my guess its going to be a bit of a bummer.


    STICKMAN: Letting go of the last Dreamworks Animation franchise worth even once iota of a damn.


    LARRY: Until Shrek 5 anyway.


    STICKMAN: HAHAAHHAA. Good one Larry. Maybe one day Toothless will stop  hunting the white dragon and settle for a handsome lizard boy.


    LARRY: Hopefully this one turns out better than 2. If it's better, I'll watch it.


    MADHERO: I'm looking forward to seeing my sweet dragon adventures, even if these 2 mooks don't see it.


    WARNER BROS RELEASES FIRST TRAILER FOR LEGO MOVIE SEQUEL, THE SECOND PART

     

    Ever since the first LEGO Movie, we’ve all been curious to see how they plan to follow it up given its massive success. Well, to be honest, it looks like they’re doing a fine job thus far. The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part is set five years after the Duplo aliens took siege of Legoland (aka the end of the first film), with the world becoming a Mad Max style apocalypse which seems to bum everyone out except Emmett.


    And now, after Emmett’s friends are kidnapped by a mysterious alien, seemingly from Lego's Friends line, indicating the sister is oncer again more involved, it is up to him and his plant to save them. With a zany plot like this and a very similar tone and style compared to its predecessor, things are looking good for this sequel. It looks to have plenty of laughs, and Chris Pratt as Emmett seems to have not lost ANY of its luster as a fun protagonist to follow. Let’s hope Lord and Miller, alongside co-writers Dan Lin and Roy Lee AND directors Mike Mitchell and Trisha Gum, can pull this one off!


    MADHERO: I always appreciate the use of Beastie Boys' Intergalactic


    STICKMAN: Loving the idea that this, a story that's a sorta embellished retelling of a boy's imagination, has a gender politics callback to the previous movie that occurred years before this one. Other than that kinda cringey line...film looks to be a fun continuation of the original movie.


    MADHERO: The Friends line-up being a thing here does sorta suggest we're going to be seeing more of that here, especially with some of the comments made. I do think Lord and Miller said that they wanted to do more with Wyldstyle/Lucy that they ultimately ended up doing, so I guess this is part of that, even if it involves kidnapping


    LARRY: Yeah it doesn't look like a change in directors really made much of an impact. Watching Duplo fuck up Bricksburg is gonna be a weird sequence.


    MADHERO: As a Brooklyn 99 fan, I'm really happy that they added Stephanie Beatriz to the cast. She's great on that show. My main hope is to see some FUCKING BIONICLE!


    STICKMAN: I would literally scream if Bionicle turned up.


    LARRY: Brush off all that "sorry we forgot about you" dust.


    MADHERO: The people demand it, Lord and Miller. Do the right thing.


    STICKMAN: DO IT. OR BOYCOTTTTT.


    BLUMHOUSE RELEASES FIRST TRAILER FOR HALLOWEEN, A DIRECT SEQUEL TO THE 1978 ORIGINAL

    Hey, it's your boi The Stickman,  in 'Horror movies that caused a lot of buzz at Cinemacon but are now finally getting a first look online' Corner.  Halloween...the direct sequel to Halloween...but not the remake of Halloween, no, the original Halloween. There was once a point in time where a new Halloween movie release was about as exciting as having toast for breakfast, it’s now  been almost 10 years since the last installment, as it, along with most of the titans of the slasher genre have tried and failed to adapt to modern temperaments. That said, it's fair to say people are rather excited for this entry, a retcon of all Halloween's that followed from the 1978 classic that sees Laurie Strode and Michael Myers face each other again, for presumably the final time.


     In what's a reasonably substantial first trailer, we see Jamie Lee Curtis back as Laurie Strode, now a hardened, combat ready woman eager to finally get her revenge on the man/monster who turned her life upside down forever. After an asylum bus crash, an escaped Myers returning to the scene of his original crime, it seems she'll get her chance. It's hard not to be wary of a Halloween movie, and a slasher movie in general, after so many years of mediocrity and lazy filmmaking, but the winds seem to be moving in the right direction for this one, and hopefully it proves to be a crowd pleaser this...HALLOWEEN. Halloween, the sequel to Halloween...out Halloween.


    MADHERO: I liked the part where they made fun of the sequels and talked about Myers being Strode's brother as something made up.


    LARRY: It's very fashionable nowadays to be self-aware, it seems.


    STICKMAN: It's always a good idea to shit on slasher movie sequels.


    MADHERO: He got his ass beat by Busta Rhymes in one of them. They deserve all the beating and being removed from canon. It really looks like its going back to basics, and there's some really fun imagery there what with the mental ward and all.


    STICKMAN: That was surprisingly cool imagery for a Halloween movie. I think this kinda looks like an Aliens equivalent to Alien, where the unprepared victim becomes the attacker of sorts in the follow-up and I am HEEEERE for this.


    MADHERO: Jamie Lee Curtis definitely gives off a Sarah Connor in T2 kinda vibe, and that's a very interesting way to go, especially when compared to H20, which made her suffer from PTSD.


    LARRY: As someone who isn't really into Halloween all that much, this kinda makes me intrigued to watch them all.


    STICKMAN: I wouldn't. Halloween 1 is the classic, Halloween 3 is the cult favourite, the rest are kinda...garbo.


    LARRY: But won't this one feel great if it's any good given how trash its been?


    MADHERO: Just watch the original. That's an absolute classic and the only one important here. And yes, also Halloween 3


    STICKMAN: Halloween 3 is the real Halloween movie, where's THAT sequel.


    MADHERO: The Silver Shamrock must live. Also John Carpenter may not be directing, but he's doing the music so get ready for some synthy tunes


    STICKMAN: I am ready for some John Carptenter beats.


    LARRY: They better not fucking modernize him. If I hear a fucking trap beat over the fucking Halloween theme...


    STICKMAN: You can't modernise John Carpenter, he's like 900 years old. Also sweet dreams, anyone who's closets don't shut properly.


    BUMBLEBEE TRAILER SHOWS OFF A VERY DIFFERENT TRANSFORMERS MOVIE

    WHAT'S THIS? A TRANSFORMERS MOVIE THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ASS?! Ok maybe that's harsh, but damn, this was a weird surprise to see. The Transformers spin-off Bumblebee always seemed like a bit of a dumb idea, and to be fair it still is, but there's something to be said about the lack of Bayhem and throwing in a spice of Iron Giant that just makes this feel more hopeful about this spin-off that may or may not launch a cinematic universe, what with Last Knight not doing great.


    The trailer doesn't really go into much detail, with Hailee Steinfeld's Charlie getting a Volkswagen Beetle, who as it turns out, is the Transformer with the inability to talk that we we all know and love(?), 20 years before he would go and pee on John Turturro.  The rest of the trailer shows some action, but much clearer, and also a tease for Starscream, who doesn't look like a metal Dorito this time and looks like his original form and color scheme. So yeah, I'm pleased by what I'm seeing. I really do hope Travis Knight and co manage to stick the landing and remind me why I liked this franchise in the first place. It'd be nice not to second guess being a Transformers fan.


    STICKMAN: Bumblebee is a cutie. Protect him.


    LARRY: I’m honestly here for this film.


    STICKMAN: I'm not here for this film, but I'm here for Bumbleboi. By making him cute they're setting us up to cry when he gets thrown through the ringer.


    LARRY: This looks far more in line with what a Transformers spinoff would look like if the original films weren’t ass.


    MADHERO: I think the important factor here is that this is the first Transformers movie without Michael Bay, and one that doesn't cost like 300 million or so. This is a much more smaller scale and intimate story, with some bot action for good measure.


    STICKMAN: There's rumours that after this they are aiming to change up the Transformers movies in general, without Bay. That'd be nice.


    LARRY: That’d be lovely. Let Knight take over for all I care.


    STICKMAN: No no, Travis Knight needs to come back to LAIKA. WHERE HE BELONGS.


    MADHERO: With Last Knight being a disappointment at the box office and plans for TF 6 canceled, I really do hope this'll be a good new direction for them. Also, OG Starscream is making me more hype than it should.


    STICKMAN: As someone without any connection to the original stuff, and not being a fan of the movies at all...I don't have a huge amount of interest in this, but Bumblebee is my favourite and he's the best thing about this already sooooo.


    LARRY: Also, to all of the people trying to add a sexual tension between Steinfeld and Bunblebee........please stop.


    MADHERO: I haven't seen any of that, but I'm sure that exists and I'm scared to look.


    SPIDER-VERSE TRAILER SHOWS OFF UNIQUE VISUALS AS WELL AS DEBUTING VERSIONS OF PETER PARKER AND SPIDER-GWEN

    My favorite trailer we are discussing today is for Spider-Man: Enter the Spider-Verse, a film that…honestly just has everything in its favor. While I still wish we got just a bit more plot squeezed out, we got to see plenty of new glorious characters: Miles’ father, a police officer and a total “dad”, Myles’ mentor, what appears to be an old and worn out Peter Parker (though some have theorized otherwise…),  played by Jake Johnson. Oh, and the amazing reveal of SPIDER-GWENNNNNNN (Hailee Steinfeld). Amazing to see her in cinematic form.


     We also get more of that luscious, vivid animation; this is honestly my favorite part. It feels like a damn comic book, from the colors, to the movement, to the pure energy bursting through it. Not to mention actual comic book descriptions appearing on screen. It really doesn’t look like any animated film out there. Needless to say, this film is gonna be a doozy when it hits us in December.


    STICKMAN: THIS FILM IS SO DAMN PRETTY.


    LARRY: ALL ABOARD THE HYPE TRAIN. CHOOOOO CHOOOOO


    MADHERO: It sure is a good time to be a fan of Lord and Miller or Hailee Steinfeld. That or animation in general. Weird to think that this has a lot of the same animators as The Emoji Movie.


    STICKMAN: With stuff like The LEGO Movie and this being around, it's really nice to see mainstream animation becoming more visually diverse, I hope the trend continues.


    LARRY: Yeah this just looks like boatloads of fun, nuff said. It’s a movie that speaks for itself.


    MADHERO: Well its nice to see that they're tackling Spider-Verse, which both serves as a good way to introduce Miles Morales and the other Spider-Men out there. That's a story not unadaptable, but definitely a lot harder in live-action.


    STICKMAN: I'm still not sure just how they're tackling it honestly. There's no mention of these different spidies being from different dimensions, but there's 3 of them...and Spider-Gwen just casually turning up kinda suggests there is dimensional play at wooork, right?


    MADHERO: Its really cool to see Spider-Gwen in there. Read her comics if you haven't and want a alternate take on the Marvel universe. It's really good.


    LARRY: Ugh it’s so COOL to see her realized on screen. I’m gonna nerd out SO HARD.


    STICKMAN: I like that we've got an older Peter Parker too, there's a lot lot to be excited about. Miles' dad is a lot funnier in the film than he is in the comics.


    MADHERO: Its also cool to have Morales as the lead. It may not be Black Panther level, but its up there. That and along with the amazing animation makes it all seem very exciting. Hopefully it pays off.


    LARRY: My boi SHAMEIK MOORE finally getting some more work.


    STICKMAN: God if this film blows I'm going to be SO DISAPPOINTED.


    MADHERO: DON'T DISAPPOINT US, SONY! USE VENOM FOR THAT INSTEAD


    STICKMAN: I'm happy for Venom to die so I get a good Miles movie. I'm MORE than happy.


    AMAZON RELEASES FIRST TRAILER FOR HORROR “REIMAGINING” SUSPIRIA, DIRECTED BY LUCA GUADANIGNO (CALL ME BY YOUR NAME)

    Although the follow-up film from 'Call me by your Name' director Luca Guadagnino was always going to be a hot topic,  after news of all the Amazon Studios luncheon discourse from the remake of 70s horror classic Suspiria broke out, it's fair to say a lot of people were looking forward to seeing the film for themselves. WELL, the first teaser is out, and whilst it doesn't deliver on the grisly sequences that caused canapes and mini-sandwiches to be dropped to the ground a couple months back, it did instead deliver a rather promising and effectively eerie experience for sure.

    Bolstered by what's already a very exciting and creepy score by Radiohead singer and first time film composer Thom Yorke, we didn't see a lot of disturbing scenes at all really, but instead the hint of the horrible deeds to come just out of frame.


    Although notably lacking the psychedelic colours of the original film, it seems to be following a similar direction in terms of location and narrative, albeit perhaps with a more intense and graphic modern horror mentality. Ignoring the music and visuals, Tilda Swinton and Dakota Johnson are the stars of this teaser, them...and a rather unpleasant looking metal implement draped neatly on a table covered in blood. I guess we'll find out where all that raspberry jam came from later this year, but with the  highly toted extreme violence and now a very promising teaser that's gotten the film a lot of attention? Suspiria has a lot to live up to.


    MADHERO: This is one spoopy trailer. Well, more unsettling really.


    LARRY: Lots of teasing and good shots. Saving the spoopiness for the film.


    STICKMAN: It's pretty great that we've got two great looking horror trailers this week, and they couldn't be more different if they tried. Arthouse disturbing horror versus popcorn entertainment. I'm down for both, and this looks great so far.


    LARRY: Plus you got Hereditary out right now. Good time for horror.


    MADHERO: I do notice that Jessica Harper is listed in the credits, and she's the original lead in Suspiria. Could this be....A SEQUEL?!


    STICKMAN: OH MY GAWWWWD It's probably just a cameo to be fair. Maybe we find out where all the colours went.


    LARRY: Oh lordddddd


    MADHERO: Sucked out like in Paper Mario Color Splash. Its an interesting stylistic choice when compared to the original, which is super colorful and adds to its psychadelic nature. This one seems more muted, but from what we've heard, will probably still be batshit insane.


    STICKMAN: I'm so down for it. If people walk out the cinema, it's gonna be amazing. I do wonder if we're going to get to see any of the grisly details prior to release, or if they're saving the nightmares for the big screen.


    MADHERO - Last Sunday at 1:09 AM

    Shout-out to the Twitter account as well which has been having fun.


    LARRY: Also a really nice logo. Can’t wait for when they begin competing for Oscars.


    STICKMAN: And that SCORE. My crazy dancing boy Thom Yorke giving us that creepy synth goodness. The members of Radiohead will soon be composing all movies.


    ---------------

    MADHERO: Its gonna be a goodun for sure. Alright., we had plenty of trailers, but we also have plenty of FILMS COMING OUT!


    LARRY: BUT THE TRAILERS ARE MORE FUN


    MADHERO: Sorry. Yep, so much so that Larry has only gone and seen one of them already. Genderswapped remakes are really hot right now, what with Ghostbusters totally not causing any controversy, and that Overboard remake.....existing I guess. We now move on to Ocean's 8, although here its more of a sequel from what I've heard. I dunno, didn't see it, but Larry sure did.


    LARRY: Well, it is technically a sequel I suppose.


    MADHERO: Alright, enough set up. How does this destroy the Hollywood patriarchy? Also is it any good?


    REVIEW

    OCEANS 8

    DIRECTOR: Gary Ross (The Hunger Games, Free State of Jones)

    STARRING: Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Mindy Kaling, Sarah Paulson, Awkwafina, Rihanna, Helena Bonham Carter, Richard Armitage, James Corden

    SYNOPSIS: Debbie Ocean (Bullock) attempts to pull off the heist of the century at New York City's star-studded annual Met Gala. Her first step is to assemble the perfect crew (Blanchett, Kaling etc.)

    LARRY: So I didn’t initially plan on seeing Ocean’s 8, but my friend got access to an early screening of the film this past Wednesday, and it was free, which me likey. So, I decided to give what looked like an unnecessary cash grab a chance, and I was surprised at how much I ended up enjoying myself.


    13oceans-8-trailer1-articleLarge.png

    It’s no masterpiece by any stretch—it doesn’t even touch Ocean’s 11, though it probably falls in the middle between Ocean’s 12 or 13 in terms of quality. However, it’s cast is very strong, each being their own distinct personality while having a fun chemistry with one another, and the script has many genuinely funny moments, which unfortunately is somewhat rare for these gender-bent reboots. It’s heist isn’t particularly that clever or inventive, but it still delivers the suspense that any heist movie should strive for. Its problems lie in the storytelling, with a third act this is ultimately pointless and poorly structured. Plus, it doesn’t seem to have much to say other than....female empowerment yay. But, for a film with little to offer thematically or sub-textually, it, at the very least, is a fun time at the movies for those looking for some laughs and good times. I certainly didn’t regret not paying for it.


    STICKMAN: Does it do anything different to draw in someone like me, who didn't like the Oceans films priorrrr?


    LARRY: Oh, definitely not I’m afraid. This is an Ocean’s film, through and through.


    MADHERO: The cast looks like its having a lot of fun. Are there any that in particular stand out and ones you could've done without? The previous Oceans movies had Clooney, Pitt and Damon and the rest besides Cockney Don Cheadle were pretty disposable


    LARRY: I mean, yeah some are clearly funnier than others. Sandra Bullock is thriving in this role, and Blanchett provides some of the best lines. Anne Hathaway basically plays a parody of herself and is excellent, and probably the biggest surprise was Sarah Paulson being pretty great. The most disposable is probably Mindy Kaling, cuz she gets the least amount to do and the most clunkers in regards to jokes.


    MADHERO: Well that's unfortunate, considering how fun Kaling is on stuff like The Office. How much is there in terms of connections to the other Oceans movies? Some cameos maybe?


    LARRY: Yes, a few distinct cameos and Clooney’s character being dead (not a spoiler, it’s literally in the trailers). These appearances have little weight on the story, they might as well be slightly elevated Stan Lee cameos. One of them is actually arguably a MASSIVE plot contrivance


    MADHERO: O dang. RIP. So yeah, sounds like its a fun if rather disposable film. Nothing wrong with that, and a good two hours, but you won't be thinking about it much after. That a fair assumption for your wrap up?


    LARRY: Yeah, it’s disposable for someone like me. But I’m sure some people will really enjoy it. It’s also worth noting that Gary Ross is a solid director all things considered and it’s cool to see him getting big films like this, even if they ultimately aren’t his strongest work.


    STICKMAN: I'll give it a hard pass.


    CateBlanchettSandraBullockStarsSetOceanW

    LARRY: Yeah, I didn’t expect otherwise lol. I would’ve passed too, but free movies and fun friend timessssss. Also, Cate Blanchett forever has my heart now. With this, Blue Jasmine, and Carol, she may be my new favorite actress.


    STICKMAN: She's pretty neato beans.


    MADHERO: She's pretty Incredible. Speaking of which.....


    STICKMAN: Niiice


    LARRY: Wowwwwwww


    MOVIES

    THE INCREDIBLES 2

    DIRECTOR: Brad Bird (The Incredibles, Ratatouille)

    STARRING: Holly Hunter, Craig T. Nelson, Sarah Vowell, Huck Milner, Samuel L. Jackson, Jonathan Banks, Bob Odenkirk

    SYNOPSIS: Bob Parr AKA Mr. Incredible (Nelson) is left to care fort he family (Vowell, Milner) while Helen AKA Elastigirl (Hunter) is out saving the world in a campaign to bring “supers” back.

    MADHERO: FOURTEEN YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS


    STICKMAN: I'm in the minority where I wasn't like...super into The Incredibles? I liked it, but I didn't loooove it. I've only seen it the one time and that's when it first came out.


    LARRY: Well it’s time to revisit it!! I’m seeing a double feature of both films, which about to be the highlight of my Summer.


    MADHERO: It sure has taken their sweet time getting there. I've been wanting a sequel to this film since I was 10, and I'm 24 now. That's fucking wild. Anyway, this looks like fun.


    STICKMAN: Sounds like it's gonna deliver the goods, too.


    LARRY: Reviews are hella positive. I JUST WANNA SEE IT ALREADY


    MADHERO: Yeah, I honestly wasn't sure what to expect from the trailers, but the impressions from critics that watched it have been extremely positive


    STICKMAN: The trailers seem to be hiding a lot of the film, which is a good thing if what's being hidden is great.


    LARRY: Can’t wait to relish in shady Bob Odenkirk.


    STICKMAN: I've yet to see anyone call it a tearjerker, which is a miracle given Pixar made this film.


    MADHERO: Yep. Apparently Jack-Jack and Edna steal the show, so I'm very curious why what they do. And Odenkirk in your movie is never a bad thing.


    LARRY: Ednaaaaaa.Brad Bird’s greatest accomplishment.


    MADHERO: 14 years I've waited, so I'm definitely seeing this asap. If this makes me want a Incredibles 3 and I'll only get it when I'm 38, I'm going to be pissssssed.


    TAG

    DIRECTOR: Jeff Tomsic (directorial debut)

    STARRING: Ed Helms, Jeremy Renner, Jon Hamm, Jake Johnson, Annabelle Wallis, Hannibal Buress, Isla Fish, Rashida Jones, Leslie Bibb

    SYNOPSIS: A group of ex-classmates (Helms, Renner etc.) meet up and organize a game of tag that finds them traveling across the country.

    STICKMAN: Here's where Hawkeye was. "Sorry I couldn't fight Thanos you guys, I was playing Tag"


    LARRY: Yeah he had to get his arms CGI’d.


    STICKMAN: That's a fun tidbit for this otherwise soso looking film.


    MADHERO: Just hanging out with the coach from Spider-Man Homecoming, so there's your MCU connection


    LARRY: If Tag became canon with the MCU, I’d have zero problems with that.


    MADHERO: For a comedy, this does actually have a pretty interesting cast. I guess Buress, Johnson and Helms are people you expect in a comedy like this, but less so with Renner and Jon Hamm, and people don't give enough credit to how funny Jon Hamm is.


    LARRY: Don’t forget my boi Jake Johnson!!


    MADHERO: I'm not the biggest fan of that guy, but that may be cause I can't stand New Girl.


    LARRY: Go watch Safety Not Guaranteed and get back to me.


    MADHERO: O yeah he was in that. That was good. But yeah, fun comedy about a weird real life story and will likely be about the real tag being the friends we met along the way.


    LARRY: I’m excited for this one!! Cast looks great, humor looks funny, and even some fun physical comedy. Ticket sold for me.


    STICKMAN: I'll be here, not watching.


    HEREDITARY


    DIRECTOR: Ari Aster (directorial debut)

    STARRING: Toni Collette, Alex Wolff, Milly Shapiro, Gabriel Byrne, Ann Dowd

    SYONPSIS: When the matriarch of the Graham family dies, her daughter, Annie (Collette), suspects a presence was left behind. With the household under threat by a supernatural force, Annie must explore the darkness to escape their inherited fate.

    STICKMAN: OOOooOooh.


    MADHERO: Prepare for the spoops delivered straight by A24.


    LARRY: Gotta love that divisive D+. Some people just can’t handle the spoops.


    STICKMAN: The best horror films make people angry. Strong reviews but a mixed audience reception, someone called this film emotional terrorism, and I'm here for this.


    LARRY: I completely agree. Just fascinating to note that.


    MADHERO: The Alamo Drafthouse apparently had some people wear heart monitors during the screening and some shot up to 165 Bpm which is pretty wild.


    STICKMAN: I can't wait to have a £10 heart attack.


    LARRY: I’m genuinely scared to go see this one. I don’t do well with horror.


    STICKMAN: I'll hold your hand babe.


    MADHERO: The film goes quite batshit at the end, so my guess that when it all gets a little too in tents.


    STICKMAN: Another solid 2018 horror film. BRING IT ON I SAY.


    HOTEL ARTEMIS

    DIRECTOR: Drew Pearce (directorial debut)

    STARRING: Jodie Foster, Sterling K. Brown, Sofia Boutella, Jeff Goldblum, Bryan Tyree Henry, Dave Bautista, Jenny Slate, Zachary Quinto, Charlie Day

    SYNOPSIS: Set in riot-torn, near-future Los Angeles, 'Hotel Artemis' follows the Nurse (Foster), who runs a secret, members-only emergency room for criminals.

    LARRY: Poor everyone in this film... Doesn’t seem to be doing too hot.


    STICKMAN: This feels like such an under the radar release for something seemingly so high profile, given the cast.


    MADHERO: You know this is one of those films that got made when John Wick got really popular . Definitely has that vibe, even if it apparently doesn't have nearly as much action as expected.


    LARRY: I’d go for Bautista alone.


    MADHERO: Its a genuinely great cast. Jodie Foster, who seems to be having a lot of fun, Sterling K. Brown, Charlie Day, Sofia Boutella, Jeff Goldblum. I feel like this is going to get a cult following very soon


    STICKMAN: Jodie Foster alone y'knooow, but oh welll.


    LARRY: Hopefully Charlie Day doesn’t fuck a Kaiju brain in this film...


    STICKMAN: Wait what.


    MADHERO: I think that's from Uprising. Also gross.


    LARRY: I wish it wasn’t a thing. But it certainly is.


    STICKMAN: I'm so confused.


    MADHERO: I could've gone my life without knowing that. Anyway, this might be for people who want something smaller, but probably don't expect much in the way of action that the trailers might tell you.


    STICKMAN: Why he fuck the braaain though.


    MADHERO: See Uprising and find out.


    SUPERFLY

    DIRECTOR: Director X (Across the Line, Center Stage: On Pointe)

    STARRING: Trevor Jackson, Jason Mitchell, Michael Kenneth Williams, Lex Scott Davis

    SYNOPSIS: Youngblood Priest (Jackson), a cocaine dealer, decides to make one more deal before getting out of the business and turning his life around.

    MADHERO: From Acclaimed director....Director X


    STICKMAN: My...favourite?


    MADHERO: This is one of those cases where this is beyond our scene, cause he's directed stuff like the Hotline Bling video  and plenty more music videos. It just really caught me off guard and thought it was funny


    LARRY: Its funny. Ya won’t catch me near it tho.


    MADHERO: Of all the movies to remake, Superfly seems like such a weird one since its such a part of its era and genre. That film basically  started the blaxploitation genre.


    LARRY: Yeah. Not sure if we need more blaxploitation....


    MADHERO: Well maybe it was a Black Dynamite style homage. This just kinda feels like a really standard gangster film.


    STICKMAN: By DIRECTOR X.


    LARRY: Yeah the name of the director is more interesting than the film.


    MADHERO: This is one of those reboots that we really could've done without.


    STICKMAN: I wasn't aware of it prior to this episode, and I'll forget about it soon after.


    LARRY: Weird how something managed to topple Ocean’s 8 for most unnecessary reboot. What a world.


    ----------

    MADHERO: Right, that about does it  for the films out this week, but luckily there's MOVIE OF THE WEEK!


    STICKMAN: Niiice


    MADHERO: Its a bit of a weird week, what with a pretty big movie that;s out right now  here in Europe but not quite yet in the US, but we figured something out, and I think we have quite a eclectic list.


    STICKMAN: But I saw the big blockbuster movie of the week though.


    LARRY: Proud to always deliver those subversive indie hitters.


    MADHERO: Subversive indie hitter, you say? Well then, Larry. What's your Movie of the Week?


    MOVIE OF THE WEEK

    LARRY: I’m sure some of our readers in the states have seen the occasional ad or trailer for this film online since its premiere at Sundance, and if you would’ve skipped it based on that and that alone, I wouldn’t have blamed you. But do NOT let its marketing fool you; American Animals is not your average heist film. Not even close. What the marketing has been deceptively (and I say that as a compliment) hiding is this film’s clever blending of both documentary and narrative techniques to create its own strange specimen of a genre.

    I don’t want to spoil how, it’s best you go in blind, but hot damn did it throw me for a loop. What follows is an interestingly crafted story that had me engaged from minute one; with a strong directorial voice from Bart Layton, a great cast led by Evan Peters and Barry Keoghan, and some ingenious editing, It masterfully plays with audience perception in ways that few films ever have and probably ever will. Even though it ultimately doesn’t do as much with its world as I would’ve liked to see, it nevertheless is a minutely flawed but still thoroughly enjoyable, darkly funny experience that I couldn’t recommend enough. One of my favorite films of the year thus far.


    STICKMAN: This looks like it could be a fun heist capperrrr.


    LARRY: Oh, it’s so much more than that my friend.


    MADHERO: I honestly had only vaguely heard of this and haven't seen any trailers for it. Cool poster though. Do creepy looking flamingos come into play?


    LARRY: I mean, I didn’t think it looked creepy per se. But there is indeed a flamingo. It is a cool poster, with an aesthetic heavily featured in the film.


    STICKMAN: It makes me want to play Hotline Miami  for some reason.


    LARRY: Whenever you guys get it, you gotta go see it.


    MADHERO: A good heist film is always fun to watch. I guess this one is a little less expensive than the one in Oceans 8


    STICKMAN: I wanna see an animal heist movie that isn't The Nut Job.


    LARRY: Okay but I wanna stress. This is NOT just a heist film. Don’t go in expecting anything like Ocean’s. I swear, the blinder you go in, the more it’ll surprise you in the best ways.


    MADHERO: Alright, Sticky. What's your Movie of the Week?


    STICKMAN: This week's E3, so what better time to look at a movie based on a video game that didn't do very well critically or financially! Hurrah! The third installment in the movie versions of the popular series, and a reboot more on par with the gritty game reboot....reboot...TOMB RAIDER...is a film that isn't perfect by any means, it's got a long wrong with it, and when compared to the game itself, lacks the same ambition, scope or action...but...as its own film? It's pretty good honestly.

    The opening scenes prior to her actual adventure are probably the best parts, since they do their own thing and show the character with a lot of heart and personality. Once things get to the island, it's a little less engaging, but it's still fun, with enough discourse-inducing deviations from the source material to make it a fresh experience even to those who've played the game itself.  Again, this ain't a great movie, but it's easily the best video game  movie to date that isn't Resident Evil Vendetta, which is the Citizen Kane of video game movies.


    MADHERO: This one is definitely the most appropriate for this time of year.


    STICKMAN: Lara Croft was even at E3. You're WELCOME GUYS.


    LARRY: I still have yet to see this, though I’ve been meaning to.


    STICKMAN:It's fun, I'm not going to pretend it's an amazing movie, but as a fan of the franchise I enjoyed it. It's biggest flaws are how it isn't like the game, so if you haven't played the gaaaame...


    MADHERO: Its been interesting to see this come and slightly go. Wasn't a huge hit but definitely successful.


    STICKMAN: It was a mild success but it didn't quite hit the cultural zeitgeist, as tossers would say.


    MADHERO: It wasn't no "Jolie posters everywhere " type of success. Does make me wonder what the plan is. Still, it can comfortably hold the crown for best Hollywood video game  game movie for now.


    LARRY: Personally I’m only interested in still seeing this for Vikander, cuz I hear she is quite good in it. And I’m happy she got this opportunity.


    STICKMAN: She's a great Lara yeah. I think the first 20 minutes are the highlight and then it loses its way a bit, STILL...worth a watch maybe. I don't know if it'll get a sequel given it was a tepid box office success, but who knooooows. Anyway, what'd you watch Mad, some weird Netflix release?


    MADHERO: My Movie of the Week....is not for the faint of heart  Seriously, while the trailer may not seem that scary, it not does prepare for the absolute mayhem that unfolds. Bone Tomahawk follows sherrif Kurt Russell as he and a posse go into the wilderness of the Wild West after a couple of people are kidnapped by a clan of troglodytes, who as it turns out, are cannibals, so that's fun. The film itself takes a while to get going, with you mostly alongside these characters and what the harsh environment is doing to their mental state.

    But once it gets going, oh lord does it get going. Any gorehound will probably have their moments of OH MY FUCKING GOD. There's one sequence there that's so bad that I had to pause and make sure I wasn't feeling ill, and I'm generally pretty good when it comes to that stuff. Its fucking insane, and much credit to S. Craig Zahler, who assembled quite a good cast and immediately becomes a different voice in Hollywood. He seems to have cemented that with Brawl in Cell Block 99 as well. So as mentioned, not for the faint of heart, but you're in for a great ride if you're prepared.


    STICKMAN: I like movie horror gore, but I don't like Westerns. What a sticky situation.


    LARRY: I’m interested now that I hear it’s bonkers.


    MADHERO: A Western can often be boring. This one is definitely not, but you need to take the time before it gets to the crazy shit


    STICKMAN: So it's like Dust till Dawn, which I didn't realise was THAT movie until it happened. And then I was like...oh.


    MADHERO: Sorta. You get hints here and there, but there's definitely the moment where the brakes go off and its full speed ahead.


    STICKMAN: Cannibals always have that effect, I find.


    LARRY: I’m down for some good ol’ fashioned gore.


    MADHERO: Oh this ain't good ol fashioned. This goes really, really hard. You are not prepared for the "wishbone scene"


    LARRY: Honestly I wish more films went as far as you say this does. Studio films are afraid of their audiences getting petrified. But man, gore tends to enhance a film if it’s done properly.


    STICKMAN: We should aaaaalll watch Dredd.


    MADHERO: Its on Netflix here, but it should be on digital for relatively cheap. Check it out for sure if you want something different. Don't have a weak stomach though


    STICKMAN: My stomach is strong and hearty, except when eating oranges.


    ------------

    MADHERO: Alright, that's it for this episode. Next up we're going to talk about DINOSAURS!  That's always fun.


    STICKMAN: I love Dinosaurs. Maybe too much.


    LARRY: DINOSSSSSSbutalsolazyandhackneyedstorytellingBUT DINOSSSSSS


    MADHERO: Its for a Jurassic World sequel though, so y'know, prepare for takes.


    STICKMAN: I've seen it already so y'all gotta check yourself.


    MADHERO: Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Find out what Stickman thinks about his lizard bros......NEXT TIME!


    STICKMAN: GOODBYE.


    LARRY: Peace out, home skillets.

  • Action Point Experience

    2 months ago

    Paul-1122

    I've had my interest in Jackass for almost 8 years & has extended itself with many different things like Viva La Bam & other works by Bam Margera (like his CKY videos & Haggard), as well as the different various Steve-O videos such as Guilty As Charged & the ones he's got on YouTube, & as of today (despite being a week late into it) I went to see Action Point that starred Johnny Knoxville & Chris Pontius, & while it was about a theme park with no safety regulations in the early 1980's, it still had some of the Jackass related humour that I've come to watch & enjoy & while it was a good experience that helped me get into Jackass more like in 2011 (& this applies for when I met Steve-O on November 17th, 2017 before my 26th birthday at Calgary's Hotel Blackfoor Laugh Shop), it helped steer a similar but different path for me in terms of comedy, fun & how to have a good party-life in a safe & comedic way.

  • The Stickman's E3 2018 Hopes & Predictions.

    2 months ago

    g1TheStickman


    HEY WHAT'S UP? WHAT'S THAT? STOP SHOUTING? Okay.

    Heeeyyy, it's E3 next week, a time for corporate jargon, underwhelming announcements, m is t a kes, and most of all, video game SHIT. Although its potency as the hub of all big game announcements has diminished in recent years, thanks, much like summer blockbuster movie season, to an oversaturation of game announcements leaving some to be lost in the crowd. A lot of titles get their own reveals in the build-up to E3, or at random points of the year...and those that don't get announced prior tend to leak anyway....BUT, there's always a few fun reveals to behold, and when it comes to knowing or hoping what's coming around the corner, that's a fun thing to DISCUSS...and WRITE BLOGS ABOOOOUT. WOOOO.


    So, I've done this for years now, and mostly failed miserably. This time I'm doing things a little differently, instead of having 10 overall predictions, I'm going to do a 2-3 predictions for each event, and a couple hopes for them too. Predictions are things I think will happen, whilst hopes are my dream reveals, which are not so much based in any realm of assumption or plausibility as they are just...blind hopes. I'll keep them all reasonably brief, or at least brief by my standards, and if you have any hopes/predictions of your owwwn? Why not POP 'EM in the comments below? And Zing/share the blog around whilst you're at it, maybe. That'd be swell. 

    Alrighty, let us BEGIINNN.




    EA Conference (Saturday June 9th, 7pm BST)

    Hopes.

    A Focus on Variety - EA's conference is usually the first, and it's also usually the worst of the main E3 pressers. Even when they were releasing a good selection of high quality titles back at the start of last generation, their conferences always tended to focus too much on EA Sports, and FPS titles. Present day is no different, and that's what I'm really hoping to change. Sports are a huge part of EA's financial profits, so nobody's expecting them not to show up, but have more variety in general, please? Have your sports, have time for shooters, have time for Star Wars ...but have different games too, and show them off in a way that's not just 'Work in Progress' documentary clips. EA's had a really shitty 2017 thanks to their mistakes on Battlefront II, so coming to E3 with a nice spread of games that says WE DON'T SUCK would be great.


    Dead Space returns - File this one under "Blind Hope", because this ain't happening. Dead Space at one point, was one of EA's favourite franchises, it seemed. 3 mainline video games, a couple spin-offs, comic books, two animated movies, novels...all sorts. Then they botched things up with Dead Space 3, and haven't so much as mentioned the franchise in passing since that point. The fact of the matter is, people love Dead Space as a franchise, despite 3's misguided alterations, and there is a market for a more crowd-pleasing sequel. Unfortunately, Visceral Games, like most EA studios, got shut down in the last year, so it'd have to be a new studio...but hey...that's not impossible, right? A new Dead Space release would gain EA some much needed kudos...provided they make the right kind of Dead Space title.



    Predictions.

    The usual shtick - Although I hope EA changes things up this year for their presser...I'm predicting that's very much not going to be the case. Although hopefully mistakes have been learned from the release of Battlefront II in terms of game design...I don't think this leopards gonna change its spots in the E3 department. I'm expecting at least one Star Wars game to be shown off, along with likely DLC talk for Battlefront II itself. I'm expecting a lengthy EA Sports section, that deals with Football and Madden for sure, with maybe something along the lines of Baseball/Basketball/UFC or whatever to round it up to a 3 title sport showcase. They'll probably bring along one crowd pleasing non-franchise 'indie style' title like they have done in previous years with Unravel and A Way Out, we'll no doubt get a good chunk of time dedicated to watching boring FPS multiplayer, this time courtesy of Battlefield V...and then we'll either start things off, or cap things off with Anthem, the new, big, expensive and potentially disastrous IP from Bioware, which has a lot to prove, with both EA and also specifically Bioware suffering from big blowbacks in 2017 due to disappointing Star Wars and Mass Effect releases. Oh yeah, and we'll get at least one awkward paid celebrity showcase, no doubt. NO. DOUBT.


    An apology - A firm favourite of the E3 pressers over the year. Having a huge, literal platform with all the eyes of the gaming world upon you is the perfect time to tuck into a nice big slice of humble pie. Sony have done it in the past for the huge hack attack that took PSN out for literally months, and there's been several other subtler nods, and briefer apologies in other pressers  of the past. EA have had a lot of shitty events in recent history, but 2017 was perhaps their worst year yet, with Mass Effect Andromeda coming out basically unfinished and poorly mishandled by its development studio, and Battlefront 2's now legendary microtransaction misfires managing to even damage the financial viablity of a god damn Star Wars game. Last year they took to the stage to proudly flaunt their latest Star Wars title, this year, they'll take to the stage and offer an apology to their 'community' for making such a pigs arse of it. Expect 'No microtransactions, no season pass' to crop up several times as well, but I wouldn't be surprised if the EA presser opens up with less of a big bombastic reveal, and more of a "Hey guys, we're totally really sorry about taking you to the cleaners, I hope we can make it up to you". 





    Xbox Conference (Sunday June 10th, 9pm BST)


    Hopes.

    New Alien vs Predator game - This is a reasonably plausible desire, but not one with any credibility to back it up as a genuine prediction. FOX announced earlier this year that a new Aliens shooter was in the works with recently acquired Cold Iron Studios, which makes that an E3 possibility, but also an unlikely one, as it seems too early to be shown off. That said, it's been eight years since the last Alien vs Predator game came out, to middling reviews, but robust sales, and it seems likely we'd get a new instalment at some point in the future, right? With Alien getting a new film last year, and Predator getting a new film this year, there's no better time to bring this crossover franchise to the newest generation of consoles, and Rebellion have always stated they'd love to work with the property again. This could happen at either Xbox or Sony's pressers, but Xbox seems to be the one for multi-platform announcements these days. Not a completely blind hope, this...but I feel we would've had some murmurings prior if it was actually happening.


    Alan Wake 2 - Now here's a more unlikely hope. Remedy Entertainment have already stated they are working on a brand new, multi-platform IP at the moment, and there's a good chance we might get a look at that this E3, but what about Alan Wake? Rather disturbingly, it's exactly the same length of time since the original Alan Wake game as the previous Alien vs Predator release...it's been a long time, and whilst sales of the game weren't particularly noteworthy, it has definitely become a much loved cult classic of previous gen, one that received a semi-sequel downloadable title in the form of American Nightmare in 2012. Remedy have officially stated they'd love to return to the franchise some day, but not for the foreseeable future, even doing a special video a few years ago, where they literally locked the franchise away in a vault Indiana Jones style...but with the Xbone somewhat lacking in headliner franchises, and major exclusives? What better time to bring back Alan Wake, exclusively to Microsoft platforms, as with the original? Although it'd be great if Remedy did return for the sequel, another reputable developer working on it, much like Rockstar did with Remedy's former franchise, Max Payne? That could go pretty great too. Unlikely, but...a man can dream, DAMNIT.



    Predictions.

    The return of Halo - It sure is weird what happened to the Halo franchise, huh? Master Chief was, and in some ways still is the face of the Xbox brand, it's the reason the original system became what it was, and it's also partly the reason why the Xbox 360 was the best selling mainline console of last generation. But it's been 3 years since Microsoft and 343 Studios even mentioned a new Halo shooter, let alone announced one. After the disastrous launch of the Master Chief Collection in 2014, meant to tide people over until Halo 5, which got mixed reviews itself? All we've had is Halo Wars 2, which was tepidly received both critically and commercially, and a continued eSports campaign for Halo 5's multiplayer component. Last year's Xbox presser didn't even have a Halo game to show off, which seems like the first time since...well...ever, E3 was lacking some sort of new Halo product. 2018 will change that though, and Halo will likely be back in a big way. 343 Studios have been working away on something for a while now, no doubt...and obviously that's mainly going to be Halo 6, which will finally be revealed in some capacity at this year's presser. Billed as the conclusion to this current trilogy of games, that started with Halo 4 all the way back in 2012, this final instalment will be their biggest Xbox announcement of the show....but, it probably won't release this year. Instead, I'm imagining we'll finally get the Halo 3 remaster people have been hankering for since ...well...Halo 2 got its remaster, really. Basically, Halo 3 Anniversary and Halo 6 will spell the return of the Halo franchise to the gaming forefront, along with the possibility of that long in-development Halo TV Series...which apparently is very much still a thing at Showtime, maybe getting a re-announcement. There's also a possibility that Microsoft will drop the bombshell that the Master Chief Collection, and Halo 5 are coming to PC too, but that's just me spit-balling, really.


    A lot of big multi-platform announcements - It's fair to say that, despite pretty damn decent sales, and a lot of love from the people who own the system, the Xbox One...and it's One S/One X spin-offs haven't done so hot in the exclusives department. That's not to say the system lacks great games, there are plenty. There's even a few hot exclusives here and there, to make everyone all jealous, but the majority are either also available cross-play style on PC, or are multi-platform with benefits. With Sony's pressers being based largely around big, exclusive mic-drop moments, with not as much attention payed to titles available on multiple platforms, unless there's some big exclusive deal to flaunt alongside them? Xbox at E3 will most likely be the place to be for multi-platform announcements that don't live on their own third-party E3 stages. Last year we saw some goodies with the Metro Exodus surprise announcement, and Assassin's Creed Origins getting its world première, prior to Ubisoft's presser, so there's no reason to expect anything less from the platform this time. Recently leaked Assassin's Creed Odyssey is pretty likely, that franchise always seeming to get a presence at whatever platform it has an exclusive items/DLC deal with at that point, but we could also feasibly see things such as the new 2K project...which is either Bioshock, or more likely Borderlands 3, and also the new Rocksteady title, which is reportedly a Superman title in the same style/quality as the Arkham series of Batman games. With Marvel riding the exclusive train for Spider-Man on PS4, it seems even more likely DC will choose Xbox to reveal that title. Of course, all of these games will be flaunted as being 'Better on Xbox One X', as with last year...which is very much the new direction for the platform...sure...the PS4 has more exclusives, but those multiplatform releases? Here's the best place to play those.








    Bethesda Conference (Monday June 11th, 2:30am BST)

    Hopes.

    New Wolfenstein game - To be fair, it's a little early for a proper follow-up to Wolfenstein: The New Colossus, the entertaining, hyperviolent nazi-killer shooter from 2017. Getting a Wolfenstein III announcement would be great, just as confirmation it exists, but it'd likely just be that, a confirmation. That said, it'd be fun to see a side-game announcement, much as The Old Blood was a smaller scale follow-up companion and prequel to 2014's The New Order. It seems unlikely this time, given Wolftenstein II had a season pass with additional side-content added to the main game, instead of having a sequel...but it's not like Bethesda have ever been ones not to double dip when it comes to low-budget side-content. Realistically the most likely outcome of this is a VR spin-off, akin to last year's DOOM VFR, but hey ho. I just wanna shoot more nazis.


    Something that isn't first person and/or a shooter? - Bethesda, despite a penchant for rereleases and unpolished games, are a pretty decent publisher/developer. That said, lately they only seem to have two modes. First Person action/stealth, and First/Third person RPGs, the majority of which involve guns in some way. Whilst games like DOOM, Wolfenstein, Quake, Prey, Dishonored, Elder Scrolls and Fallout are all beloved franchises...and there's also Evil Within and RAGE which ...exist I guess, they all are kinda similar in basic experiences? It'd be nice to see Bethesda release something wholly different, something that wasn't an 18 rated gun-toting first person stealth/action experience. Maybe release something a bit different? Some smaller scale indie game, or a platformer utilising existing franchises owned under its umbrella of long-running studios. It's not happening, but that'd be nice.



    Predictions.

    DOOM 2 - This is happening, sooner or later, ain't it? The 2016 DOOM reboot was a breakout hit for Bethesda, and developer ID Software. After years of development hell and tons of previous versions chucked out, they finally brought the franchise back, as big, violent, fast paced and loud as everyone had been wanting and waiting for since the originals. 3 years on, it seems likely a sequel will at least be announced at their E3 presser this year, if not shown off in some capacity. It likely won't be out for a little while yet, but a new DOOM game announcement would be a big crowd-pleaser, and even if the title doesn't release this year or the next, just having that publicly in the works would be a big boost for the studio. Plus, it's an excuse to play some heavy metal on stage, and release some sort of mobile companion piece, much as they did with Fallout back when Fallout 4 was announced.


    Gonna spend way too much time on Fallout again - If Halo is Xbox's big seller, and Mario is Nintendo's....Fallout is definitely Bethesda's big hitter. All they have to do is post a vague retro TV 'stand-by' card on any form of social media and the internet is set ablaze with anticipation for what will be announced. Before we've even made it onto the stage, and potentially to circumnavigate the usual Pre-E3 leaks Bethesda always suffer from, they've announced Fallout 76 is to be fully revealed on-stage next week. Rumours are this is going to be an MMO game rather than a mainline title in the series, which means  there's going to be even more shit to show off. The Bethesda E3 presser where Fallout 4 was fully unveiled pretty much played as the Fallout 4 presser, co-starring some other games...one of which was also a Fallout game, so yeah. With a new Fallout MMO on the cards, that's gonna happen all over again, and there's likely going to be some sort of Fallout 3 remaster revealed too, in order to hush the fans grumpy that Fallout 76 isn't the usual style of experience. Basically, Fallout will once again be the focus of Bethesda's E3...and whilst that's great for some...it's gonna make that 2:30am presser a real slog for yours truly.





    Square Enix Conference (Monday June 11th, 6pm BST)


    Hopes.

    Tomb Raider 1-3 Remasters - This is a pipedream, but one with a crumb of potential evidence to point to it happening. Squeenix may be more known for their JRPGs, most notably Final Fantasy...they do own some western properties, biggest of which is likely the Tomb Raider franchise. Although they didn't own the Tomb Raider brand or the studio that created it back when the original trilogy was released, I'd very much assume they own the rights to the original games now, yeah? So why not do a Crash/Sypro, and do a fancy remastered trilogy collection of the original 3 games? Despite being some of the biggest games of the entire PS1 era, these titles aren't particularly easy to get ahold of on modern systems. The original Tomb Raider requires MSDos to run on PC, making it basically impossible to play these days, and with PS1 classics ridiculously never making it to PS4, there's never been any sort of rerelease or remaster, with the exception of Tomb Raider Anniversary, which was more of an entirely new game following the same basic story/level beats. This sounds pretty random, but do remember that earlier this year, it was announced the original Tomb Raider games were all being ported to Steam with fully modern PC requirements, higher resolutions and a faster framerate...only for this to be quietly cancelled less than a week after being revealed. What the fuck was going on there? Could it be Squeenix had something bigger in the works and this project is an accidentally announced remenant of a pre-Crash Bandicoot remaster world? I dunno, I'd just like to see this happppeenn. This could happen at either Squeenix's presser, or at Sony's...but I'd like it to happen. That'd be nice.




    Predictions.

    It's just gonna be Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts - Square Enix aren't really known for their E3 pressers, in fact this is their first one. Usually in the past, the big Squeenix reveals would happen at either the Xbox or Sony pressers, and given they own some of gamings biggest brands, it seems likely they'll still keep aside some of the bigger titles for those. Shadow of the Tomb Raider will most likely be talked about at the Xbox presser, and similarly if the FF7 remake is indeed getting a shock multiplatform extension to Xbox, it'll be reannounced there instead, surely? What does that leave? Well I guess you have Kingdom Hearts 3, which whilst a big, big release, doesn't have strong ties to either platform, and will likely be the headline event of this, Squeenix's first attempt at an E3 showcase. Add onto that the ever expanding list of Final Fantasy spin-offs that always get announced, and likely some sort of FF Online shenanigans, and yeah...although Tomb Raider could indeed turn up too...I'm thinking this is mainly just a chance for Square Enix to announce a new Kingdom Hearts stage free of the shackles of being one in a million Xbox/Playstation reveals/announcements. Basically...I'll just go eat my dinner during this one, me thinks.





    Ubisoft Conference (Monday June 11th, 9pm BST)


    Hopes.

    Prince of Persia 2018 - I made a prediction that this long shuttered beloved Ubisoft franchise would return...what? Like...4 or 5 times? It never has, and for that reason it's been relegated from prediction, to just a hope. I can't say I've had the most exposure to the Prince of Persia franchise, but it's the sort of franchise it'd be great to see return. It's been 8 years since the last entry, which was bolstered by a big budget film release that, along with the forgettable game released alongside (but not directly related to) it sorta...faded into obscurity pretty damn soon, and with the history, sword slashing set Assassin's Creed (Which itself was originally a spin-off of Prince of Persia in its early stages) being Ubisoft's mega-franchise these days, there just doesn't seem to be much room for Prince of Persia for them any more. That said, Ubisoft love to end their E3 shows on a big mic-drop, and what bigger mic-drop in a post BG&E2 re-announcement world could they have, than a new PoP? Ideally one that follows in the vein of Prince of Persia 2008, and its colorful, visually stunning and charming reimagining of the franchise. 10 years on from the cilffhanger ending, it'd be great to return to that world, and maybe deliver a smaller scale (smaller financial risk?) of 3D adventure game than perhaps Ubisoft are known for these days.


    Assassin's Creed Odyssey to release in 2019 - C'mon, Ubisoft! Nobody in the entire world is asking you to make AC an annual franchise again! Although they mostly worked out pretty okay despite the needlessly complex, expensive, constant conveyor belt of development across thousands of people and scores of studios all over the world...it's clear that franchise fatigue and quality issues have become a major factor in this franchises future viability. AC Origins came out two years after Syndicate (Which was pretty good tbf) and provided a major change-up in the style of gameplay, for the better...paired with a good deal more TLC for the AC change-up titles, which are generally always plagued with issues, before a follow-up polishes them all up. Ancient Greece sounds like an awesome setting for the franchise, but I would be very happy if the game got an extra year of development, allowing rest-time between entries, and also ultimately providing a better product. Given pre-orders are already open for the deluxe edition, this is likely a 2018 release, but...it'd be nice if it was 2019, y'know?



    Predictions.

    Splinter Cell Returns - With Sam Fisher's (And Michael Ironside's) return in Ghost Recon earlier this year, and that Best Buy 'leak' gaining traction due to its unveiling of the, at the time, unheard of RAGE 2...this seems almost a lock for E3, but...it's not been announced, so it's still just a prediction, yeah? I predicted Splinter Cell would return last year, so I'm going to repredict it under the same specifications as before, since I'm still pretty sure they'll be the case. In 2018, Ubisoft aren't really known for the core single player experiences that this franchise was once well known for. In fact, they haven't released a big hitter, blockbuster title that hasn't been in some form of sandbox environment, generally with 'live service' functionality since...well, roughly 4 or 5 years? Around the same time the last Splinter Cell released, in fact, which was 2013. For that reason, it seems pretty likely that this new Splinter Cell title is going to be quite different from previous entries, which had a more focused, individual level/mission based structure. I'd imagine there will indeed be a big sandbox environment, probably some sort of city...maybe even Washington, given these games tend to cover a political angle of some kind, and Sam Fisher may not be the character you play, so much as your boss, in a game where you create your own Fourth Echelon agent, and play co-operatively with friends to tackle stealth based objectives within the open map, be they the campaign missions, side-objectives, or live service missions, much alike to the most recent Tom Clancy title, Ghost Recon Wildlands, of which Fisher recently cameo'd in. Given it's established Ghost Recon exists within the same world as Splinter Cell, there may well be connections to both that and Rainbow Six ...although probably not The Division, because...that's a little bit different in premmiiissse. Ideally it'd be great to see Splinter Cell return in a mission-based, visually/narratively rich style ala Conviction, but I'd imagine that won't be the case. Still, this one seems pretty damn likely to be revealed.


    Blood Dragon Returns - Yes, we may have only recently received Far Cry 5...and sure, that game has a season pass worth of side-DLC coming that takes that series from Vietnam to space...but there's no Blood Dragon DLC, huh? Far Cry 3's standalone Blood Dragon spin-off, whilst heavily derivative of the game it span off from in a lot of ways, is a much loved title that didn't take itself too seriously, had a killer soundtrack, stupidly awesome set piece moments, and a unique visual style. Despite the love it received back in 2013, there's never been a follow-up. The closest we've gotten was some weird Trials DLC pack that took the Blood Dragon branding and applied it to that franchise instead...so...with that in mind, could it be that Blood Dragon can exist outside of Far Cry? It's a bold prediction, but don't be surprised if Blood Dragon returns, either as its own stand-alone title, or as a riff on an pre-existing Ubisoft franchise at this years E3. Assassin's Creed: Blood Dragon could be a potential, silly spin-off title to tide people over until the main series returns next year (I HOPE...get it? I put it in that category), or how about Watch_Dogs: Blood Dragon? After the lighter hearted, visually vibrant 2016 sequel, and the franchises already baked in focus on technology, hacking and wacky electronic-based outfits/lairs, it doesn't take a huge leap of logic to see a Kung Fury styled Watch_Dogs spin-off (The first spin-off it'd receive) that well and truly turns the concept of Blood Dragon into a 80s skewered take on multiple Ubisoft brands. Or it could just be its own game, returning to being a shooter, but not being one designed after Far Cry itself. Either way, it's not hard to see the Blood Dragon returning in some form.





    PC Gaming Show (Monday June 11th, 11pm BST)


    Hopes.

    Half Life 3 - HEY...a man can dream, alright? Where the fuck is this game, Valve?! WHERE THE FUCK IS IT!? IT'S BEEN ELEVEN GOD DAMN YEARS SINCE YOU ENDED ON A CLIFFHANGER, GOD DAMN YOU. DAMMNN YOU AALLLLLL TO HELLLLLLLLLLL!!!! *Ahem*




    Predictions.

    Inconsequential circle-jerking - The PC platform may provide (the potential for) faster framerates and higher resolution textures (Providing your computer can run the game, and the game runs properly on your particular brand of PC hardware and graphics card) than on consoles, but I tell you what it doesn't provide that's better than what consoles can offer....press conferences. Yeah. This one's a pretty recent addition to the E3 catalogue, but unlike Bethesda, who bring a lot of fun reveals and demos...the PC Gaming Show is just kinda...a boring circle jerk? You might get a couple PC port announcements, some games might be shown off...but mostly it's about hardware, and smug back-patting. Check out this graphics card, dudes, you can't get real-time nose hair physics on that PS4 shit, son. No no no. It may provide a time-filler between Ubisoft and Playstation's E3 offerings, but it does not also offer a reason to tune in. Buncha dudes sitting on a sofa, talking about how great PC games are. If PC games are so great, WHERE'S HALF LIFE 3? HMMM? GOD DAMNIT.




    PlayStation Conference (Tuesday June 12th, 2am BST)


    Hopes.

    ICO Remake - This isn't entirely out of the question, it just seems pretty unlikely. Shadow of the Colossus very recently received a fantastic remake on the ol' PS4, allowing me a chance to play one of the all-time classic games, in a way that was both faithful to the original title, whilst also providing better visuals, a more consistent framerate, and more streamlined controls. It's a game that's been on my checklist for some time, and I'm happy to have finally ticked it off...but I'd also be very curious to try out the spiritual forefather to this game in a similar way, and that forefather would be ICO. I don't really know a huge deal about ICO, but I know people like it quite a bit, and I know a remake announcement would garner a lot of excitement. That said, it doesn't hold with it the same degree of acclaim or, more importantly, sales potential as Shadow of the Colossus, and as such, this is more a wistful hope, a chance to try it out, then it is some actual expectation based in any form of reality.


    PS1 Classics on PS4 - What feels like a easy no-brainer in a lot of ways has become not even an expectation, but just...a fools dream, a vague hope. It's stupid to think that this pre-existing, HD ready library of PS1 remasters, available on PS3 and PSVita already, have never made it to the PS4. There was some murmurings of it not having the ability to run it, but I find that to be bullshit. Sony in the past have said they don't get why people would want to buy old games...this being the same studio that recently, proudly touted faithful remasters of Crash Bandicoot and SotC on its platform. This wouldn't be a huge mic-drop of an announcement for a presser, but it'd be a welcome surprise and crowd-pleasing reveal for sure. They could even do one of those classic 'It's available right after the show' drops, giving PS4 users both a chance to give Sony money for its impressive emulated PS1 back-catalogue, and those who already own these games, a chance to bring them from their PS3/Vita confines, onto their new system. It'd take Sony very little time/effort/money to just flick a switch and have these available, but they'd stand to profit quite handsomely from offering classic titles that include Spyro/Crash/Tomb Raider/Silent Hill/Resident Evil and many more on the PS4. Like...c'mon dudes, just...dooooo it.



    Predictions.

    Ratchet & Clank return - The PS4 and Xbox One don't have a huge selection of kid/family friendly titles, do they? Whilst Nintendo focus quite heavily on titles that can be played, enjoyed and marketed towards a seemingly infinite age demographic, the majority of big exclusives on the other two main platforms tend to dabble exclusively in blood, guts and adult themes. That said, whilst Microsoft, despite owning Rare, are fucked in that department...Sony have a pretty decent stable of exclusive, family-friendly brands that they're just sorta...sitting on? Jak & Daxter have been dead for what feels like an eternity, and Sly Cooper's attempts a long-awaited revival kinda lost the wind in its sails shortly after Thieves in Time came out in 2013. Littlebigplanet was practically the face of family Playstation at one point, but a lacklustre third instalment seems to have killed that series stonedead...BUT...Ratchet & Clank? That's still very much a viable franchise. The movie may have been a big, wet fart critically and commercially, but the PS4 tie-in/remake of the original? That was a huge hit both critically and financially, providing the franchise with acclaim and commercial success that it hasn't seen since what feels like the PS2 era. So where've they been in the last 3 years? Insomniac may be working on their big, fancy, awesome looking Spider-Man game, that'll no doubt be a huge focus at E3 this year, but production on that is surely on the home stretch...and even if they are too busy, it's not like R&C hasn't been developed at other studios before. It seems weird that we haven't heard a peep from this pretty damn successful franchise in all this time, particularly given how well the most recent game did...I suspect that'll change this year.


    Resident Evil 2 Remake ARRIVES - Capcom's restraint regarding Resident Evil in the past year and a bit is pretty damn impressive. There was a time where you couldn't breathe without inhaling some sort of Resident Evil port or spin-off title, and catching some kinda nasty disease, I'd imagine. There hasn't been another Resident Evil title since the release of RE7, which whilst considered by Capcom to be a financial disappointment, brought the franchise back into the collective good books of the gaming community, thanks to a return to the old-school survival horror that people had been craving since the past three, more action orientated main-line offerings. Whilst RE8 is definitely a long ways away, Capcom always take their time on the numbered entries, after all...there's still the matter of the RE2 remake that was announced waaaaaay back in 2015. We've literally seen and heard nothing since it was announced to be in development, and whilst there was suggestions of a troubled development early on, it seems pretty damn likely it's going to get announced this year, and given RE7's big surprise reveal at Sony's presser in 2016...surely there's is the perfect place to unveil RE2make to the masses as well, yeah? It may even release later in the year, although it's more likely it'll skip the chaotic Autumn 2018 in favour of January 2019, much like RE7 did before. No idea what to expect from this, but I'm expecting to see it, at least.





    Nintendo E3 Direct (Tuesday June 12th, 5pm BST)


    Hopes.

    Chibi Robo remake for the 3DS - Consider this me just...really wanting to finally get a chance to play the original Chibi Robo. Since its original Gamecube game, that's fucking rare as hell in the UK, and as such, expensive as hell to buy...the only games Chibi Robo has received are on handheld devices. Firstly on the DS, two titles, one of which that only released in Japan, and neither of which came out in Europe, and then the two 3DS titles, one download, the other retail. None of these games have set the world on fire sales-wise, but Nintendo continued to press on with making them, even having making an Amiibo...which is the best Amiibo, by the way.  Although everyone's expecting the Gamecube VC of their dreams to hit the Nintendo Switch, Nintendo seem disinterested in bringing Virtual Console to that platform...and with the original, Gamecube Luigi's Mansion getting a 3DS remake later this year, it'd be swell to see Chibi Robo also getting that treatment, both because I'd get to play it, and it'd piss off the 'STOP SUPPORTING THE 3DS NNGGHHH' dipshits. A technically plausible, but still unlikely hope.


    de Blob 3 - This is less an expectation of Nintendo exclusivity, and more seeing Nintendo as the most fitting platform to reveal a game like de Blob on. THQ may be dead, but their brands live on in THQ Nordic. We've had sequels to Saints Row come out, Metro Exodus in the pipeline, and a sequel in the much loved, undersold Darksiders franchise announced (and presumably turning up at E3 in some form), so...why not de Blob? THQ Nordic have even ported de Blob 1 and 2 to all current platforms, including the Nintendo Switch...so surely they have some plans for this as a franchise? THQ once had high hopes for this dude and his super charming, colourful and inventive franchise...with plans for a SyFy TV kids show in the early stages at one point, before they went under. We haven't heard a peep from de Blob since 2011...so it's time we BROUGHT BLOB HOME....to Nintendo Switch...but also PS4 and Xbone so I can play it. Kthx



    Predictions.

    Metroid Prime 4 skips E3 - Maybe I'm just setting myself up to not be disappointed, but given Metroid Prime 4 seemingly only entered development last year, around the time of E3 2017? I'm not really expecting it to turn up at E3 this year, especially not in any playable/in-game form. Considering all they had to show for themselves last time was a logo? A very exciting, boner-inducing logo reveal, sure...but...just a logo all the same, I can't imagine it was very far in development at the time, and given Nintendo loves to take their time and make sure these main-franchise games are polished up and dressed to impress before rolling them out at presser (Unless it's the Wii U and you're desperate to remind people Zelda still exists)...I'm finding it increasingly less likely that Metroid Prime 4 will be shown off at E3 this year...maybe we'll get a first look later in the year, say, at The Game Awards, or just in a Nintendo Direct, maybe we'll have to wait until E3 2019, where they'll unload a release date alongside the first gameplay...but I don't think we'll get to see it next week. If we do? Fucking fantastic, that's gonna make me hard for a week, but I'm not expecting it. Maybe we'll see another 3DS 2.5D title be announced? Maybe not, it seems far too early for that, even if it is going to happen. Maybe we just won't see Metroid at all. Cue eternal screams of anguish.


    Animal Crossing Switch - This is not a case of if...but when. Animal Crossing is, weirdly one of Nintendo's biggest franchises, particularly on handheld devices. Animal Crossing on both the DS and 3DS have been huge sellers, and although it wasn't quite the same hit on the Wii, it still sold pretty damn well. We've had a mixed bag of spin-offs since the fantastic 3DS game's release back in 2013 (Later given an update in 2016), with Happy Home Designer being a fun but comparatively limited experience, whilst amiibo Festival and Pocket Camp both felt less like genuine experiences and more money pit cash-ins that used the relaxing charm of the franchise to sell something altogether less expansive and wholesome. The mainline titles take a long time to develop, and even longer to release worldwide, generally, but it's already been the longest release gap yet between main instalments, given the franchise skipped the Wii U entirely, or at least development on a potential Wii U instalment was shifted to the Switch...so...yeah...it's time, ain't it? Every Nintendo Direct, every E3...it's all about where Animal Crossing is. Now more than ever, with Metroid finally getting some announcements. Animal Crossing deprivation is the new Metroid deprivation, but unlike Metroid...nobody's expecting Animal Crossing to not turn up...it's just waiting for when it does. And I'm expecting one of the biggest E3 reveals for Nintendo this year, will be Animal Crossing Switch. Whether or not it significantly shakes up the traditional formula, or continues to merely expand and polish on what people know and love from prior games? It's gonna be a huge deal when this one gets announced, and with the Switch's status as both a console and a handheld, those sales are gonna be quite something, I bet.





    Theeere you go, folks! You excited for E3? What are you expecting? What are you hoping for? How reasonable are my hopes? How likely are my predictions? LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS BELOW, SHARE IT ABOUT IF YOU LIKE IT, HIT THAT ZING. BADDA BING. ENJOY E3, AND SEE YOU SOOOON...LATTER GATOORRSS.


  • At the Screwvies: Episode 109

    2 months ago

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    MADHERO: Hey everybody. Its time once again....to talk Star Wars. I know, the prospect of which is so terrifying that Larry has fled to Europe, so he won't be joining us. But it means he can't stop us from bringing up this gem: I’m feeling like a star. You can’t stop my shine. I’m lovin’ Cloud City. My head’s in the sky. I’m solo, I’m Han Solo I’m Han Solo I’m Han Solo, Solo


    STICKMAN: I vote with the absence of Larry that we make this the official Fury Road fan blog.


    MADHERO: Nah, we repping Solo now, even though I'm pretty he doesn't have a problem with that.


    STICKMAN: I do though. Does that mean I have to take an unexplained trip to Europe. never to be seen again?


    MADHERO: No. Anyway time for news, of which there was a lot.


    NEWS


    DANNY BOYLE TO DIRECT NEW JAMES BOND FILM STARRING DANIEL CRAIG. TO BE DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL AND MGM


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    Feels like we've been talking about this film for a while. The 'will he, won't he' of Daniel 'Slit my wrists before I do another Bond film' Craig, then the bidding war to be the new distributor that included all sorts. Them came the race to see who'd direct the film. Now....FINALLY, we've got the hardcore details.  Danny Boyle was an early frontrunner for the directing gig, but then it seemed to not be happening...but now it is, so take that I guess. Best known for Trainspotting, 28 Days Later and Slumdog Millionaire, this would be Danny Boyle's first franchise gig. It is not, however, his first gig with James Bond, or Daniel Craig. Famously the pair first worked together on a short film for the London 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony, where he picked up the actual real Queen, and they (their stunt doubles anyhow) jumped out of a helicopter together into  the stadium, to somewhat rapturous applause.


    The distributor has now shifted from the product placement heavy camp of Sony Pictures, to a surprising choice of Universal Studios, who are partly responsible for the modern Daniel Craig reinvention of Bond in the first place, thanks to their Bourne franchise changing the spy movie game for quite a long time. I'm a big Boyle fan, but I'm not sure how this will play out, excited to see though...and we WILL SEE...ON...OCTOBER 25th 2019. DUN DUN DUUUUUN.


    MADHERO: Well.... this is finally happening. I completely forgot that Boyle directed the Olympic Ceremony in 2012


    STICKMAN: He did  a pretty ace job, it's hard to forget that when you live in the UK that's for sure. It's all been downhill since 2012.


    MADHERO: You can say that again. He does make for an interesting choice. One with a lot of pedigree and distinct style, so it'll be interesting what he does on the scale of a Bond film.


    STICKMAN: I'm concerned he'll be too restrained to make a Danny Boyle film . I got that vibe from Steve Jobs, which was a great film, but it was pretty tame, directing wise. At the same time, James Bond ain't ready for Danny Boyle at his most Boyle'esque.


    MADHERO: I don't think the world is. He's got an another project with Richard Curtis coming up, so he's going to be busy. I do wonder if this film is actually going to pick up from plot points of Spectre, or if its for the most part wiping the slate clean.


    STICKMAN: I'd imagine his little relationship situation will be nipped in the bud quite quickly, and then we'll be back to our usual Bondy shenanigans.


    MADHERO: God, Spectre was a disappointment. I feel like its been ages when that film came out.


    STICKMAN: The prevailing feeling in the time since release is one of it being pretty pants, and kinda unintentionally creepy at times. Hopefully Danny Boy can give it the regeneration it needs...with Daniel Craig, who I'm hoping survives production on this film.


    MADHERO: He's getting a dump truck full of money, but its almost certainly his last outing as Bond. I'd be shocked if it wasn't.


    STICKMAN: Either way, colour me more interested than I had been now.


    JAMES MANGOLD TO WRITE AND DIRECT A BOBA FETT SPIN-OFF MOVIE

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    Hey, since we talked Star Wars in the intro, might as well talk MORE STAR WARS AMIRITE?! Its getting hard to keep whats in development and what isn't. So far we've got Episode IX in December 2019, the new trilogy from Rian Johnson, the new trilogy from David Benihoff and DB Weiss and potentially a Obi Wan movie by Stephen Daldry. One of the earlier proposed projects featured everyone's favorite bad jetpack flier Boba Fett. Josh Trank of Chronicle fame was attached to work on A Star Wars Story project, later revealed, but never officially announced to be a Boba Fett movie, but left the project after it became clear how big of a mess his Fantastic Four movie was. After that, things got quiet around the project.


    Until now, with Hollywood Reporter revealing that James Mangold  (Logan) will direct the movie and co-write with X-Men stalwart Simon Kinberg about the Mandalorian bounty hunter, showcasing his probably badass antics before he got eaten by a hole in the ground. Or maybe it'll reveal that he survived and we'll see his adventures there, as the Expanded Universe has loved to do for ages now.  My level of caring will likely depend on the take they're going for, because as been pointed out, Boba Fett is kind of a fuck up that just happens to be in really cool armor. Mangold is an exciting choice though, so it'll be interesting what he can bring to the Star Wars universe.


    STICKMAN: Oh boy more Star Wars spin-offs. Those always do well.


    MADHERO: Oh dang. Recent box office disappointment digs.


    STICKMAN: I must say, I'm one of the people who finds Boba Fett cool despite him just having a cool set of armour and being a bounty hunter. Like there's no real reason to think he's cool, he just looks cool.


    MADHERO: Its a cool looking get-up he's got, but going back to those original films, the coolest thing he probably did was talking smack to Vader, but his actions didn't make him seem all that impressive. Its interesting how badly this is something people want to happen. Maybe because it personally just leaves me kinda cold. Will say though that Mangold's involvement is interesting.


    STICKMAN: I hope it's an 18 rated movie about existentialism and mortality again. Either that or Mangold gets fired halfway through and Ron Howard finishes it up as a 12a action adventure sci-fi movie.


    MADHERO: It'd be something very different, which I feel is something Star Wars might need if recent box office returns have anything to say about, but hey, that's an discussion for another day, when they announce the Greedo spin-off


    STICKMAN: Can't waiiiiit.


    MYSTERIO TO BE THE NEW VILLAIN IN SPIDER-MAN HOMECOMING SEQUEL. JAKE GYLLENHAAL IN TALKS TO PLAY THE CHARACTER

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    WARNING: THE FOLLOWING STORY CONTAINS INFINITY WAR SPOILERS


    File this one under WOAAHH NELLY if true.  Peter may not be feeling so good after the somewhat notable events of Avengers: Infinity War, but that doesn't mean production isn't ramping up on the sequel to 2017's Spider-Man Homecoming, releasing in July of next year. Whilst we don't quite know what form the MCU will take post Avengers 4 yet, we do know who Spider-Man will be facing off against...it's Mysterio, and it just may well be played by Jake Gyllenhaal of all people.


    Although it's not a lock just yet, what is a lock is obviously, that Mysterio is in the film, and as of now, it seems like Jakey boy will be taking the role. Mysterio isn't your usual Spider-Man movie villain, being a former special effects whizz who, down on his luck, uses his powers of illusion and distraction to turn to a life of crime. He's also known for wearing a fish bowl on his head, and having a big whooshy cape. Also of note is the apparent recurrence of Michael Keaton as The Vulture, who was the villain of the previous film, which, along with the teased inclusion of Scorpion in that film, leaves the door open for a potential super villain team up...or...Sinster Six, if you will. Mainly, I just hope Peter feels better before this film, poor lad.


    MADHERO: O man, hopefully Peter is gonna feel better soon. Gonna be hard to fight a guy with a fishbowl helmet when you're a pile of dust


    STICKMAN: It's Aunt May's turn to don the mask.


    MADHERO: That would be interesting to watch. But yeah, really cool to hear that Mysterio is gonna be on the big screen finally. I remember in concept art that he was supposed to be in Spider-Man 4 played by Bruce Campbell, but more so as a cameo than a major villain.


    STICKMAN: Bruce Campbell would honestly be kinda perfect for a goofy take on that character. Mainly it's just interesting to see a somewhat different class of Spider-Villain on the big screen, and one that could come with some cool ass visuals.


    MADHERO: As it stands, it looks like we might be getting a more serious version with Gyllenhaal, who's a great actor and always want to see more of.  Also Gyllenhaal was in the running to be Spider-Man in the Maguire years, so it all comes full circle


    STICKMAN; I want it to be like the Mysterio from the Spider-Man 2 game, who has fun house Spider-Man minions and then turns the Statue of Liberty into himself with flying saucers or whatever.


    MADHERO: Yeah, probably not happening. Also cool to see Michael Keaton return. My guess he's probably going to be more of a goodie this time.


    STICKMAN: Unless a Sinister Six is formingggg.


    MADHERO: Sony loooooooooves that Sinister Six, so maybe.


    STICKMAN: Also, I said it before and I'll say it again. Mr Aziz needs his comeback. Spider-Man needs to deliver some GOD DAMN PIZZAS.


    MADHERO: Hard to deliver pizzas when you're dead.


    STICKMAN: Oh no. There's dust all over my pizza.


    HAPPYTIME MURDERS TRAILER ASKS THE QUESTION “WHAT IF PUPPETS WERE A BIT NAUGHTY”

    Well this has been a long time coming. For those not in the know, The Happytime Murders has been a dream project from Brian Henson (son of legendary puppeteer Jim Henson) for some time now, with the concept being thrown since at least 2008. For the longest time nothing happened because it was all decidedly niche: A Roger Rabbit style world where humans and puppets co-exist, with a noir style detective of a human and puppet solving the murders of a Sesame Street style group. Somehow, it got made, and it looks.... well.


    Considering the subject matter, I was definitely expecting things to be crude, and that's exactly what we got, with puppets asking to suck people's dick for drugs, doing said drugs, swearing a bunch, and jizzing out silly string for a minute long in this 2 and a half minute trailer. Yeah. I don't really have an issue with that, but the crudeness is all that's there and in the age of Sausage Party, as well as puppet shows like Avenue Q, the material doesn't feel as shocking or funny as it thinks it is. The funniest thing is its tagline "No Sesame, All Street" and they just got sued by Sesame Workshop for that. I hope the movie isn't just a 90 minute version of this trailer, otherwise we'll have a bad time.


    STICKMAN: Fuk. It wasn't a happy time, but I do feel like getting murdered. How do you fuck up such a fun idea for a fiiilllm. How do you spend so long developing it and then fuck it up so baaaad.


    MADHERO: My guess its more niche parts (its noir elements) got removed in favor of something more raunchy. It does suck when such a good interesting premise goes to waste


    STICKMAN: Did we need 50 hours of projectile puppet jizz. Did we need vaguely dated "Hahah that woman looks like a dude" jokes. DID WE NEED THIS.


    MADHERO: The school of "the longer it goes on, the funnier it is" fails once again.


    STICKMAN: It has to be funny to begin with for that to work. The funniest thing so far is that Sesame Street are bringing the fuzz down on them. Big Bird's got his big lawyers on the job.


    MADHERO: I guess my main problem it focuses so much on being crude that it doesn't really become funny. We've seen puppets be crude on Avenue Q and Meet the Feebles. Its not as new a premise as it thinks


    STICKMAN: It looks crude as fuck, completely wastes its original seedy detective noir premise, and looks cheap as all fuck in terms of production. And Melissa McCarthy WHY.


    MADHERO: She was honestly the least of my issues with it. She seems more of a straight man here.


    STICKMAN: The fact that she was the least infuriating part is a sign of just how crappy this film looks. WHAT A DISAPPOINTMENT.


    MADHERO: Lets hope the actual film is better, but yeah, hopes are definitely low right now.


    JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3 TO RELEASE ON MAY 2019. CASTS HALLE BERRY, ANGELICA HUSTON AND MORE IN NEW ROLES

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    In the currently active action genre movie rosters, you don't get more beloved than the John Wick films. The first one came out of nowhere and surprised a lot of people in 2014, and 2017's Chapter 2 only went from strength to strength, improving in pretty much all aspects, including, crucially, box office gross.  Naturally, a third entry is in the works, and whilst we've known this for a little while, we've gotten our first details, and they are mighty tantalizing indeed.


    Following, much as the second film did, almost directly on from the previous film, John Wick Chapter 3 (SPOILERS for those who haven't seen 2 yet) sees Keanu Reeves fighting to survive and.... escape from New York…. after he's expelled from the assassin network and becomes an open target for everyone else within it. Without the usual gadgets and safe zones, he'll have to rely on being John Wick to survive...which is pretty fortunate, given he's John Wick. The film's got a May 2019 release date, and the cast? Well it's sounding pretty awesome. Hallie Berry, Angelica Huston, Mark Dascascos, Jason Mantzoukas, Asia Kate Dillon and  other talented folk are joining existing returning cast members in this third installment as members of the order of assassins who'll presumably get in Wick's way.  More interesting for meeee personally? Two cast members from The Raid are also joining the film, meaning we're finally getting a Raid/Wick crossover...of sorts? Chapter 3 is already shaping up to be a treat. No more dead dogs, though. Please.


    MADHERO: ZOUKKKKKKKKKKS! As a fan of How Did This Get Made (and his stuff on TV) I'm so happy he gets to be in this movie. Also I guess the casting of Asia Kate Dillon makes this the first major Hollywood movie to cast an actor who identifies as gender neutral, so good on them. Rest of the casting is pretty stellar so far.


    STICKMAN: I didn't even realise that was a thing, but neato. Previous John Wick had a mute character who spoke with sign language too. It's a solid cast, a great action director, and if it delivers on the set-up of Chapter 2? HOOOOOO


    MADHERO: John Wick 1 was hard to top, and somehow 2 managed to do so. So yeah, no pressure for Chapter 3.


    STICKMAN: John Wick I feel had a tone issue, and John Wick 2 sorted that out nicely and also delivered even better action scenes. I'm very excited for this.


    MADHERO: I'll never look the same at a pencil again.


    STICKMAN: We were warned of his pencil abilities. And we did not listen. And with a weird TV show nobody asked for on the way? There's much Wick to be had.


    RIP MARGOT KIDDER

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    Sadly, we have to talk about another screen icon passing away, as it was revealed that Margot Kidder had passed away at the age  of 69 from unknown causes. When you think Margot Kidder, its hard not to think of Lois Lane, whom she played in all 4 Christopher Reeve movies. For many, she's the ideal interpetation of the character, one that hasn't still hasn't been topped. Besides that, she was also a minor scream queen with roles in Black Christmas and The Amityville Horror, which she famously called a piece of shit in an interview with the AV Club, and even popping up in Rob Zombie's Halloween remake.


    That part of her, besides her Lois Lane role, is the one largely remembered. She left Hollywood largely behind in 1996 after a famous  breakdown, preferring to live out in her home in Montana and fighting for her outspoken liberal political causes, though she would always be up for a job if asked. Its a shame to see her go at such a young age, but she'll always be remembered for her iconic role. May she rest in peace.


    STICKMAN: Didn't have the same connection to her as some people did, but it's hard to deny the prominence of some of her roles, and it's sad to hear her go at a reasonably young age.


    MADHERO: Yeah, 69 really is no age to go out on these days. I came to her performance a bit later than most people, but you can definitely see why she's seen as the definite Lois Lane. She brought an independence to that role that made her more than just Superman's girlfriend, whilst still selling the chemistry they had.


    STICKMAN: Yeah, I think we all know her as Lois Lane more than anything.


    MADHERO: There's a reason why she's often named in the same breath as Princess Leia. I do think she was an icon for a lot of women at the time who wanted to be more than just the girlfriend.


    STICKMAN: Which is a pretty great claim to fame, really. Also, being in a couple cult horror favourites ain't too shabby either.


    MADHERO: Even though she didn't get as much work later on in her career, it does partially seem to be her own decision, as well as fighting for causes she genuinely believed in to help her community. That does make it seem like she was a genuinely good person


    STICKMAN: Sounds that way. A real shame that she's passed. At least she'll have a longstanding legacy in both cinema and society in general.


    MADHERO: Indeed. As always, we wish her family nothing but the best in this difficult time. RIP


    -----------------

    MADHERO: Moving on, I hope you're ready to talk Kessel Runs and  pointless origin stories, because its Solo time, baby. Yes, the Star Wars prequel/spin-off is finally here, and being the fucking nerd that I am, I saw it.... not on opening night, but I sure did see it the day after.(edited)


    STICKMAN: You nerd. Nobody else  in the world saw it, so I guess it's up to you to review it. SO HOW WAS IT I GUESS, since we're obligated to taaaalk about Star Wars forever.


    MADHERO: O dang. Guess I do.


    REVIEW

    SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY

    DIRECTOR: Ron Howard (Rush, Inferno)

    STARRING: Alden Ehrenreich, Donald Glover, Woody Harrelson, Emilia Clarke, Thandie Newton, Paul Bettany, Joonas Suotamo

    SYNOPSIS: During an adventure into a dark criminal underworld, Han Solo (Ehrenreich) meets his future copilot Chewbacca (Suotamo) and encounters Lando Calrissian (Glover) years before joining the Rebellion.

    MADHERO: So, its kinda hard to talk about this movie and not go into the drama that went on behind the scenes. The Han Solo origin story, which in and of itself is kind of a bad idea, was somewhat alleviated by the hiring of Phil Lord and Chris Miller as directors. Then they got fired really late into production, and the movie was handed over to Ron Howard, a very capable if not workmanlike that doesn't seem as exciting. The movie was basically redone, we didn't see footage or trailers until really late, and all of it had the smell of a complete disaster.


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    I'm starting with that because if you don't know that, the movie doesn't show that. Credit where credit is due, Solo works as a fun thrillride and doesn't feel like something with clashing visions a la Justice League. In fact, one of its big strengths is how it keeps the stakes relatively low, as its more about scoundrels and scrappers learning to survive under the thumb of the Empire rather than outright stopping them. And the movie does manage to be fun with a bunch of great heist style action sequences. Special shoutout to the acting as well. Stepping into Solo's shoes couldn't have been easy, but Ehrenreich mostly nails the swagger whilst giving the characters his own spin. Same goes for Glover, who I wish was in it more, but makes for an absolutely stellar Lando. Despite all of that, the movie can't also help but feel....safe. That's to be expected after the director switch, but this is not as daring or different tone wise from other films, and it can't help but all feel a tad pointless.


    STICKMAN: So, you liked it, but it still lacked a reason to be?


    MADHERO: I liked it, yeah. I had a good time watching it, but it was pretty much fluff. It can't help but be that since its a prequel to a character that was already pretty clear from the first film. Its also a film that tries to answer questions that I don't think anyone really asked? Still, if you want to see him do the Kessel Run. That's there. Meeting Chewbacca and whatnot, that's all there. But I mostly enjoyed it for the action than for getting those answers.


    STICKMAN: So, people have been saying this is 'nothing new' for the Star Wars franchise, does that mean it feels the same as the prior films, or does it have its own identity?


    MADHERO: It feels new in the sense that it explores the rougher parts of the universe, one that doesn't feature any Jedi or The Force and whatnot. For a lot of its run it feels like a heist film and a Western, but its largely the case of tone where it ends up feeling too similar. Rogue One for instance felt new because of its more bleaker tone. Here, it feels a bit like Force Awakens almost: a comfortable familiarity. I feel like people who bounced off Last Jedi might find this more enjoyable


    STICKMAN: Does that mean, me, who liked Force Awakens, enjoyed Rogue One even more, and then thought Last Jedi was poopy would like this one?


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    MADHERO: Maybe? You can always go and give it a shot and see where you end up. For me, who liked Last Jedi for its boldness, felt like this was a bit too samey, but maybe since people aren't blowing their loads over it, that can be benificial in terms of expectations. Few  moments aside, its not as HEY, REMEMBER THAT as I thoughtt it was going to be. No "C3PO and R2D2 randomly in Rogue One" moment here, which is a plus since that was one of my bigger worries.


    STICKMAN: I appreciated Last Jedi trying different things, I just wish they hadn't been mostly crap is all. The lack of obligatory cameo bullshit is a plus for sure. IMPORTANT QUESTION THOUGH What's the percentage of Porgs in this film.


    MADHERO: Sadly I have to report there are 0 porgs in sight. There's one alien though who appears in the cantina that is my new obsession. You'll know it when you see it and I can't wait for its spinoff.


    STICKMAN: I'm just glad there's no Porgs. And absolutely always...ALWAYS...the side background aliens who say and do nothing in Star Wars speak to me on a higher level than any main character could.


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    MADHERO: Alright, I think we can  wrap up. If you want more Star Wars..... that's exactly what you'll get, and there's fun to be had with the action set pieces, but this is probably the least necessary film in the series to date. The promise of A Star Wars Story sub-series was seeing different parts of the universe and having different tones and feel than the regular episodes, and it in my mind only half succeeds. Still, if you just want a fun film, you can do far worse, and its quite amazing how it all comes together considering the production.


    STICKMAN: Is it better than the prequel films at least?


    MADHERO: O yeah. I have to see Sith again to see if that ranks above or below it, but it definitely has less cringe than that film had. So yeah, better than the prequels.


    STICKMAN: Less cringe is always good for Star Wars. Maybe I should go see it myself, there's plenty of seats availabllleee.


    MADHERO: Anyway, I think there's other movies out this week as well. Not that many of them, because Star Wars, but hey, they at least tried.


    STICKMAN: Star Wars is dead forever, so what else is out.


    MOVIES

    ACTION POINT

    DIRECTOR: Tim Kirkby (The C-Word)

    STARRING: Johnny Knoxville, Chris Pontius, Aidan Whytock, Leon Clingman

    SYNOPSIS: A daredevil (Knoxville) designs and operates his own theme park with his friends.

    STICKMAN: Never mind, come back Star Waaaars.


    MADHERO: I don't know whether to be impressed or horrified that Johnny Knoxville still is doing crazy Jackass style stunts now that he's in his late 40s.


    STICKMAN: And is obsessed with old man makeup I guess.


    MADHERO: Yeah. This and Bad Grandpa, he really loves to be an old man. Apparently its semi-based on a actual theme park in the 70s in New Jersey which was infamous for its disregard for safety. So that's fun.


    STICKMAN: This is just a shitty slapstick 'comedy' film except instead of falling over, people are being smashed through doors and shit.


    MADHERO: Well there's a certain comedy in that. Jackass was usually a good time in watching idiots do stupid things to one another.


    STICKMAN: I'm not really a fan honestly. A lot of the 'pranks' were like, eating a pile of shit, or falling in a vat of acid or whatever.


    MADHERO: Some of the pranks were......eesh, but for the most part it was fun. I'm just kinda impressed that Knoxville is still doing it. Jackass 3D kinda showed them all being terrified doing the shit that used to come easy. Guess that's why its pretty much only him now.


    STICKMAN: This is like LOGAN but for Johnny Knoxville, the life he once found easy is now a grueling ordeal to get through.


    MADHERO: I'm all for Knoxville, or Ass. Moving on.


    ADRIFT

    DIRECTOR: Baltasar Kormakur (Everest, The Oath)

    STARRING: Shailene Woodley, Sam Claflin, Jeffrey Thomes, Elizabeth Hawthorne

    SYNOPSIS: two avid sailors (Woodley, Claflin) set out on a journey across the ocean in 1983, not anticipating they would be sailing directly into one of the most catastrophic hurricanes in recorded history.

    MADHERO: Well.... this is different


    STICKMAN: It's like...two films in one. Sentimental romancey thing. And then a survival movie.


    MADHERO: That's how it definitely feels in the trailers. I imagine the survival aspect is the key storyline here and the romance part to sell the characters. Especially considering this is from the same director as Everest.


    STICKMAN: Which famously was a resounding success, still talked about to this day. Reminds me more of The Shallows in the second part of the trailer, same kinda...surviving in the ocean schtick.


    MADHERO: Well that film did really well box office wise at the time. My guess this will probably be fine, but its weird to put this in the beginning of summer. This feels like a September-October movie. Something that might bait for awards with Woodley's performance and whatnot


    STICKMAN: Maybe it ain't so hot, and they thought they could hide it under Star Wars. Oops.


    MADHERO: Possibly. Its probably a film I ain't seeing unless reviews are really good.


    STICKMAN: Doesn't draw me in I must say. OH WELL.


    HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS AT PARTIES

    DIRECTOR: John Cameron Mitchell (Shortbus, Rabbit Hole)

    STARRING: Elle Fanning, Alex Sharp, Nicole Kidman, Ruth Wilson, Matt Lucas

    SYNOPSIS: An alien (Fanning) touring the galaxy breaks away from her group and meets two young inhabitants (Sharp) of the most dangerous place in the universe: the London suburb of Croydon.

    MADHERO: Finally. I always wanted to get these tips. Thanks movie.


    STICKMAN: I mean. Just hope those girls are like...latex clad alien people I guess.


    MADHERO: What? You mean they aren't? Damn. So anyway this looks a tad nutty, doesn't it? Latex clad aliens. Nicole Kidman as some sort of queen goth. Not your average film, this one.


    STICKMAN: This is A24 and Film 4 collaborating for maximum niche insanity.


    MADHERO: Reviews seem to suggest it might be a tad too niche. But whoever the target audience is, I imagine they're going to dig the absolute shit out of it. Probably punks and goths. Those are still a thing, right?


    STICKMAN: Stuff like this where it's just completely nuts can go either way, seems like this one's a bit of a dud. Better to try something interesting and fail, then do a decent but forgettable sci-fi action franchise prequel spin-off and accomplish nothing.


    -------------

    MADHERO: Oh dang. I can't top that. Might as well move on to MOTW!


    STICKMAN: I GUESS.


    MADHERO: As always, this is the part of the show where we talk home releases or films we saw in the cinema. Now I could just finish this up quickly and do Solo, but don't worry, we've done our homework and got some other things.


    STICKMAN: Ur yes, yes...homework.  Uhh.


    MADHERO: I already established the whole nerd thing, remember? Anyway, what do you have for MOTW?


    MOVIE OF THE WEEK

    STICKMAN: Sooooo, I've picked a film we talked about back in our Oscar coverage, as the surefire winner of the Best Animated Feature...that then won, AMAZING. Coco was a film that had a lot of potential from the moment it was announced, but seemed to be losing steam in the road to release. Obviously...it came out, was adored, made all the money and won all the awards. Now it's out on DVD, and well...yeah...it's pretty damn good, as it turns out.

    I mean, in a lot of ways it's standard Pixar fare...beautiful animation, fun humour and action scenes, lot of heart, very similar emotional pacing and ultimate conclusion...BUT...the characters, premise and world make up for the lack of originality in that department, with a creative and unique feeling film that opens a window on a culture that maybe isn't as often explored in movies that aren't The Book of Life. Despite my reservations about its familiar beats, it's still funny, it's still moving...it's still really good. It's almost frustrating that it's this good, because you really want Pixar to do something a bit different...but when they make things like this so damn well? It's hard to fault them.


    MADHERO: O hey, Coco. I remember really liking that fim.


    STICKMAN: I hope you remember it.


    MADHERO: 5th favorite movie of last year. Its getting harder and harder to rank Pixar movies in a Top 10 because their work is so stellar, but I feel like this would definitely be a part of it. I really loved the world that they created and the use of Mexican culture was really lovely to look at.


    STICKMAN: This is one of their better releases, particularity in recent years. I'm not really one to say Pixar have lost their way, but they have had a genuine dud film not that long ago, and Cars 3 was their other release last year, so it's nice to see they are still the same studio that changed the game with Toy Story all the way back in 1995. Animation is wonderful.


    MADHERO: The colors especially were amazing. You really feel the respect that they have for the culture. You could've easily imagined a movie that would've fallen into stereotype, but they managed to tell a really universal story in such a specific environment.


    STICKMAN: It's a great exploration of that culture that makes you want to explore it more beyond this film, which is pretty amazing, really. ANYWAY, what shit you watch. Some shit maybe?


    MADHERO: Well sure, I watched some shit. Shit I liked, though. While I liked the original Deadpool back when I saw it in theaters, and you have to admire the fact the movie even got made considering, rewatching it on my own did leave me feel somewhat cold on it, so I definitely had some initiial worries about the sequel, quality marketing campaign aside, which continued to be stellar.

    Thankfully, seeing it in a crowded theater, a lot of the fears proved unfounded, and I had a really good time with Deadpool 2. Its not without problems mind you, since it suffers from some major tonal shifts that don't really work well with the rest of the film's wacky antics. But when it hits, it really hits, and there's some moments that really got to me that I won't spoil. Be it Reynolds as Mr. Pool himself, who continues to be one of the best castings in Hollywood history, Zazie Beetz's Domino, who's sure to be a star after this, and of course the MVP Peter. God bless him.


    STICKMAN: I saw this film too, and had fun with it, but it's got some major issues and it doesn't fix the problems I had with the first, either. Narratively it's a right shambles.


    MADHERO: I feel this film could've maybe taken a book from Thor Ragnarok or even Ant-Man. The more dramatic stuff feels sooooooooo out of place. More so than the first film even


    STICKMAN: I was saying when I saw it...it's everything the first film was, dialed up to 11. And in some cases, that works gangbusters, but in others it's a real problem. It's hard to discuss the issues with the tone and narrative without spoilers, but it's not a film I feel is gonna hold up on repeat viewings, much like the original Deadpool kinda didn't.


    MADHERO: There's a literal up to 11 joke in the movie. Its filled to the brim with meta humor, some of which only I got and that made me feel awkward.


    STICKMAN: It goes a bit niche at times yeah. I will say, the opening credits are fucking amazing.


    MADHERO: That Celine Dion song did not go to waste.


    STICKMAN: I feel we have a very real possibility that Deadpool will be dancing on stage at the Oscars in a year's time. What about you Larry, what did you wa-Oh...


    -----------

    MADHERO: Yeah.... this is where it ends. Awkward. We should be all complete next episode with a big batch of movies to discuss, from long awaited sequels, reboots starring WOMEN! And spoopy horror that apparently hurts your very soul itself.


    STICKMAN: I'm so ready for some genuinely distressing horror. And maybe Dinosaurs too? WHAT  A WEEK.


    MADHERO: I know, can't wait for Tag. Anyways, till then. Later!


    STICKMAN: GOODBYE!

  • At the Screwvies: Episode 108

    3 months ago

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    MADHERO: Hey everyone. I hope you're ready for the SUMMER MOVIE EXTRAVAGANZA! Since Infinity War moved dates , it no longer was the summer start we all were hoping for. But hey, who cares when you've got so many other summer movies like.....a Melissa McCarthy comedy...or one starring old people reading 50 Shades. Hmmmm....o hey this Deadpool 2 thing seems kinda fun.


    LARRY: ...it basically still was the Summer start. It just started the Summer earlier lol


    STICKMAN: 50 Shades of Deadpool. He'd be into that.


    MADHERO: Well he got pegged in the first one, so its already way more kinky than that whole trilogy. I imagine this is the type of convo Deadpool would want us to have.


    LARRY: Yeah, you could say it really lights a fire under your ass.


    STICKMAN: Don't do that, kids. That's bad for your anus to dry it up.


    MADHERO: ......right. Lets talk some news.


    NEWS

    FIRST TEASER RELEASED FOR SHANE BLACK’S THE PREDATOR LEADS TO A MIXED RESPONSE


    Boy oh boy this one's been a while coming, huh? Announced waaaaay back in 2014, The Predator came out strong in the early days with its promising director (Shane Black of Iron Man 3 and Nice Guys fame), ambitions of a big budget R rated picture from FOX, and a fantastic cast of actors. And then...things changed. The film's release date has changed more times than there's been Predator films to date, from March, to February to August and now September. Throw in what felt like total radio silence from everyone involved and the always troubling reshoot situations going on...and you'd be forgiven for having no hope...BUT..we finally got our first look at the film in action this week..and...uhh...


    Well...it looks okay? It's got Predators in it, good cast, competently filmed...uhh...there just doesn't seem to be much to discuss, huh? Opening on the much touted suburban angle with a child ...randomly getting a box of Predator gear and crashing a space ship by crashing a toy space ship. And then we cut away from anything related to that completely and instead get a lot of military action, guns, screaming and some shots of Predators being angry. And...that's it? Most of note is the use of weapons by the Predators previously only featured in the AvP films...and in general, it does feel a bit worryingly similar to AvP R in setting and characters so far. There's the rumblings of genetic hybridization going on, which means more action figures I guess. I dunno, I want to be enthusiastic but this didn't really do much for me, hope there's a better trailer waiting for us in a month or so.


    MADHERO: Well..... this was underwhelming. You give me the promise of a Predator movie directed by Shane Black, director of The Nice Guys, and THAT'S the teaser you put out. Pffffft


    STICKMAN: I know right. It didn't look like the work of a acclaimed director at all. FOX are usually pretty good with trailers too, even if the film ain't so hot. This one just don't work at all.


    LARRY: When Shane fucking Black is attached to Predator in the suburbs, you expect a really good first trailer... And this was....bland. To be fair, tone is a very big part of Shane Black and it's hard to capture that in a minute and a half.......but it could've been better than THIS.


    MADHERO: I guess that's the best thing you can say about it. It looks well made, but besides Jacob Tremblay playing around with a spaceship, it just looks like your average alien invasion, and with Black and the cast involved, you kinda expect more.


    LARRY: I love how, with this cast, they chose to spotlight Olivia Munn and Boyd Holbrook and not KEEGAN MICHAEL KEY. C'MON.


    STICKMAN: I'm hoping they're just hiding the best parts for the release, but you gotta get bums in seats first and then surprise us when we're watching.


    MADHERO: Either this is hiding a way more fun movie, or a complete distaster. Or something that got turned into the editing booth as something kinda bland.


    LARRY: I think it's the third.


    STICKMAN: As someone who likes all the Predator movies, and even enjoys AvP (the first one) quite a bit? I'm worried. I think this could turn out a real clunker. We've like...had next to no marketing up to this point, and a bunch of delays. I'm concerned. At least Alien Covenant was half a good movie.


    MADHERO: Its one of those things where you put faith in the people involved, but this did not really inspire confidence in the way I hoped it would. Also there's a Predator with fish-net stockings in one of the teaser images. That enough to raise hope?


    STICKMAN: I'm all about that fishnet, bruh. And he had a hell of a cod piece on.


    WARNER BROS OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCES A SHERLOCK HOLMES 3 STARRING ROBERT DOWNEY JR AND JUDE LAW. DIRECTOR GUY RITCHIE NOT YET CONFIRMED.

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    Hey, remember when Robert Downey Jr. played other roles instead of Iron Man? HAHAHAHA NEITHER DO I. Seriously though, its been a while since we saw Downey in anything other than as Tony Stark. While he’ll be playing Doctor Dolittle in 2019, there were also many wondering what was happening to his other franchise: his Ritchie Sherlock Holmes movies.


    Yes, in 2020, RDJ, along with his partner-in-crime Jude Law, will return on screen as Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson in the third installment of their Sherlock Holmes series. You may recall the first installment from 2009, which was...okay, and the second, subtitled "A Game of Shadows", which came out in 2011 and was actually pretty damn good. After nine friggin years without this series, you’d think they’d leave it at peace, but nope. Currently, there is no director attached, but there is a script by Chris Brancato, who is mostly known for his work in television (Hannibal, Narcos). For those hoping to see Guy Ritchie return to the series, considering his work with the live-action Aladdin, it seems unlikely. So who will take the mantle? LET'S SPECULATE, SHALL WE?


    STICKMAN: I'm the other way around on those films, Larry. First one was pretty damn good, second was okay.


    LARRY: Nah. Moriarty makes everything better.


    MADHERO: Boy they sure took their sweet time. I guess it helps that they have a framing device in Sherlock Holmes being presumed dead in the last one. I remember liking the first one, but I really didn't like the 2nd one since so much of it felt like more of the same. I haven't seen them in a while.


    LARRY: Personally I'm just happy to see RDJ doing something other than Iron Man. Granted I'd rather he do a prestige project or something, but it's nice to see him do anything else.


    STICKMAN: My concern of a third one without Guy Ritchie is that he really kinda...gave the film its personality visually and action-wise? They are very distinctive films.


    LARRY: I'm with you Sticky. With Ritchie taken up by Aladdin, I can't think of a quality replacement.


    MADHERO: The lack of Ritchie would be weird, since the first two films are consumed by his style. You can of course argue whether that's a good thing.


    STICKMAN: I think it's a good thing personally. Also get Hans Zimmer back for the score. That score is top notch. Regardless it's a much better franchise than Sherlock is.


    MADHERO: I'm kinda done with the concept of Sherlock as a whole tbh. But again, been ages since I last saw these films.


    LARRY: HOW DARE YOU, STICKY! YOU WITH YOUR YOUR BACKHANDED SHERLOCK COMMENT


    STICKMAN: SHERLOCK SUCKS. BENEDICT BUMBERSNAIZZLE MIND PALACE BULLSHIT.


    LARRY: YOU SUCKS


    SYLVESTER STALLONE ANNOUNCES NEW MOVIE IN RAMBO FRANCHISE. PLANS A 2019 RELEASE

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    Just when you thought he was done, they pull you back in. That seems to be Sylvester Stallone's mantra, as he returned to his role of Rocky Balboa in Creed, showing a much more vunerable side to him and see that his character has truly aged, which isn't a surprise considering he's now in his 70s. It nearly nabbed him the Oscar, and we'll see what Creed 2 does with his character, but for now, Stallone is returning  to his 2nd most famous character: John Rambo. 2008's Rambo was the last we ever saw, which was cartoonishly violent to the point of self-parody, it seemed like the series was over....until now.


    To be fair, a Rambo 5 (or Rambo V as its now known) had always been somewhat teased as a possibility, but thanks to Stallone's Instagram, we now know that its happening for realsies, with Rambo in retirement but called back when his friend's granddaughter is being taken by a Mexican sex trafficking ring. Shooting is supposedly happening this fall, with a fall 2019 release date planned. Not gonna lie, there is something cathartic about a 70 year old man continue to do this like its the 80s, but I'm fairly sure that Stallone could kick my ass easily, so I'll just shut up.


    STICKMAN: I can't believe this is real.


    LARRY: Not the MOST out of nowhere sequel we'll be talking about today.........


    MADHERO: Its been one of those things teased for such a long time that you can't believe its happening until its there, kinda like Venom for me.


    STICKMAN: I've only seen Rambo 1 and Rambo 4...I really didn't like Rambo 1 and Rambo 4 was garbage but...my kinda garbage.


    LARRY: Ya know, this film could be a great...individual, original film with an up-and-coming writer. Doesn't have to be Rambo 5!!


    STICKMAN: We didn't need Creed but that went down pretty well.


    MADHERO: There's a huge audience for his stuff in Asia. We're getting an Escape Plan 2 and 3 because of China alone. I forgot the first Escape Plan was even a thing


    STICKMAN: What the hell's Escape Plan.


    MADHERO: The big Stallone/Schwarzenegger crossover about 3 decades too late.


    STICKMAN: Oh dear. Anyway, this is a film. Rambo vs Cartel. Sicarambo. I made that joke in Screwvies DMs but I'm making it again for the luls.


    LARRY: SICARAMBO


    MADHERO: Anyway, its happening, and if it is, I hope its as cartoonishly violent as Rambo 2008 was. That or awkwardly thank the Taliban like in Rambo 3.


    LARRY: Oooooooooof.


    JORDAN PEELE (GET OUT) ANNOUNCES NEXT MOVIE “US” STARRING LUPITA NYONG’O, ELIZABETH MOSS AND WINSTON DUKE

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    Hoooooo boy. So Get Out was a huge fricken deal, and deservedly so in my opinion (watched it for the third time recently, still love it), and everyone has been curious as to what Jordan Peele is bound to do next. Well, saddle up, because details have just recently been revealed. His new film is titled Us and it slated for a March 15th, 2019 release date. He will once again be directing a script he wrote, and it will be produced through his production company Monkeypaw Productions and Blumhouse, with whom he worked with for Get Out. Currently, negotiations are underway for Lupita Nyong'o, Winston Duke, and Elizabeth Moss to star; the story details are scarce at the moment but so far we know it will center on two suburban couples, one white and one black. Woohoo, more RACIAL TENSIONS!


    Based on these details, we can see that Peele is continuing to explore racial relations with a horror lens, but will this film be enough to feel distinctly different from his last picture? We'll just have to wait and see.  Its apparently a lot more expensive than Get Out was, with the price range supposedly around 25 milliona as opposed to Get Out's 5. i guess that's what happens when you can call yourself a Academy Award winner. Also that probably makes it the most expensive Blumhouse movie ever. All I know is, consider my ticket purchased.


    MADHERO: There's not much to go on based on what has been said, but enough is there to have my interest peaked.


    STICKMAN: Get Out was 2017's big event horror...and even though it wasn't very horror based at all...it was pretty good, and went on to win an Oscar no less. I think there's gonna be a lot of hype around this one just on  that prestige alone. I just hope it's not more of the same.


    MADHERO: I do think Peele realizes he can't just do what he did with Get Out. It might hit on similar topics, but we probably won't see Lupita Nyongo fall into the Sunken Place.


    STICKMAN: I don't know what to expect really, although he's not new to the bizz, it was his first movie project in both writing/directing...I dunno if he's got more up his sleeve. I hope so, that'd be great. The cast is tremendous already.


    LARRY: Yeah it seems to be following a similar vein, but I think there's a lot to explore here past racial relations and maybe discuss romantic themes as well? I dunno, it should be interesting to see where it diverges and where it doesn't. Also this is suburbia as opposed to upper class people, so there's that.


    STICKMAN: Wish we had more to go on, the poster was cool. I dunno, I feel Get Out is a bit overrated but it was a good film for sure. Hope he builds on his first attempt and makes an even stronger follow-up, and actually includes some horror.


    MADHERO: Well he has plenty of experience with Key & Peele, which even though that was sketch comedy, hit on a lot of different themes regarding race. I'm already interested based on his first film, and the cast so far looks excellent.


    LARRY: Yeah, loving the pairing of Nyong'o and Duke. The two most underused BP stars coincidentally.


    STICKMAN: The cast is great. Don't let me down, Peeeeeeele.


    MADHERO: I'm glad Duke is getting more work after his breakout role in Black Panther. He really showed off his charm and I was surprised he hasn't been in much else besides a few Modern Family episodes. Also good to see Elizabeth Moss do more movies.


    STICKMAN: Praise be. Get it. References.


    LARRY: The way I see it, I'm fine with more Get Out. I'm fine with this being totally different. For me, it's a win win. Peele knows what he's doing.


    LAIKA ANNOUNCES FURTHER DETAILS REGARDING THEIR NEXT FILM “THE MISSING LINK.” MIGHT POSSIBLY BE MOST EXPENSIVE STOP MOTION FILM EVER

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    Last episode we reported on a double dose of stop motion animated goodness, which included finally getting confirmation of a new film from LAIKA. Now, at the time, LAIKA hadn't revealed any details of their project, referring to it as 'Film 5', and we all naturally assumed it'd be a little while until we heard more details. Nope. A week later and we've got the full scoop on what we now know is called 'Missing Link'.


    This new project, which sees LAIKA team up with Anapurna, sees Hugh Jackman's character, Sir Lionel Frost go in search of all things monsters and mythical. This leads him to encounter 'Mr Link', who's the last remaining missing link between man and ape, played by Zach GhagalifaI cantspellhisnameifItried. And eventually the pair go off in search of a legendary Shangri-La, a valley of monsters where the rest of his kind may be waiting for him. Zoe Saldana joins the pair as Adelnia Fortnight, who helps them on their journey, whilst a as of yet unknown villain stalks them.  Joining the cast are a host of talented people, including Stephen Fry, Emma Thompson, Timothy Olyphant, and some British comedians nobody except me has probably heard of. The film is set for release (In the US) in Spring 2019, and has a rumoured budget of $100 Million which...seems risky, but there you go. Looking forward to it very much.


    MADHERO: 100 million for a stop motion anmated film seems.... risky.


    STICKMAN: Super risky. I guess they're banking on Hugh  Jackman's box office draw. LAIKA as a brand means quality, but it doesn't mean greenstacks.


    LARRY: I can almost guarantee the movie ain't making that back.


    MADHERO: LAIKA is semi-funded by Nike, so in that sense they have cash to burn. Anyway the movie. Seems definitely more comedic sounding, though we're all definitely gonna cry about Mr. Link loneliness or something


    STICKMAN: You say that Larry, but LAIKA have made that kinda bank before. Kubo was a box office disappointment and made around $70 Million. If the marketing focuses in Jackman, the film is good, and it's released at the right time,  they could do it.


    MADHERO: I also think that the film is aiming to be more comedic, and that tends to get the families in seats rather than an adventure story like Kubo.


    STICKMAN: Kubo was very dark but it had a lot of comedy, that wasn't the focus of the marketing for sure. Anyhow, I hope LAIKA get a hit from this. I really do. Paranorman and Coraline both did pretty well, but Boxtrolls and Kubo kinda fizzled out.


    LARRY: Depending on their release date, if they find an open time to really grab the family market, it could make good money.


    MADHERO: The movie sounds fun. Laika has yet to make a bad film (even though Boxtrolls was only just ok.) and it'll be good to see what they can bring. I admire their ambition


    LARRY: I just think the odds are immediately stacked against them at $100 million.


    STICKMAN: Given Aardman seem to have lost their ambition in recent years, LAIKA are kinda the last champions of ambitious stop motion cinema....so yeah, I wish them nothing but the best, I'll be there to see it, no doubt.


    MGM WORKING ON LONG GESTATING SEQUEL “BILL AND TED FACE THE MUSIC.” ALEX WINTER AND KEANU REEVES TO REPRISE THEIR ROLES

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    Holy shit, its actually happening this time. So once again, I'm talking about an old ass property making an comeback. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure popped up in 1989, and managed to become a cult hit that's still beloved by many who grew up with it and its bodacious attitude. The sequel, Bogus Journey, while not as good, promised a utopia where the Wyld Stallyns would write the  greatest song ever written, which would create a righteous utopia. that would save the universe from annihilation


    Of course, not much came of that. Even as his career took off in many different directions, Keanu Reeves (Ted) has always said he wanted to continue the story, as well as Alex Winter (Bill), who's career went more into the behind the scenes stuff. After years and years of teasing, it seems now that Bill and Ted Face the Music is finally happening, with MGM taking care of the production and looking for international distributors at Cannes. This installment will see Bill and Ted go back in time once again, having become middle aged, starting up families  and still not writinn the greatest song ever written, with the space time continuum now starting to get torn apart. Original writers Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon are writing/producing, with Dean Parisot (Galaxy Quest, Red 2) in charge to direct. I'll be honest, Bill and Ted was something before my time, but I know plenty of people happy with this news, and it'll be fun to see Keanu Reeves do something like Theodore Logan after nearly 2 decades of Neos and John Wicks. So not for me, but know plenty who'll find this news.....EXCELLENT *guitar riff*


    STICKMAN: Bill and Ted is one of the most cheesy franchises ever. But I mean, can't deny that kinda feel-good cheese isn't welcome in this era of society.


    MADHERO: Its so cheesy that it bounces right back to endearing. Its the ultimate pair of time capsule movies. So its funny to  see it brought back in a way.


    LARRY: Ehhhhhhhh I'm not really on the boat for this. I think the original film is cheesy fun, the second is kinda lame though. I just don't like unearthing these franchises that are so deeply of their era. It doesn't feel like it needs to be brought back, it was fun at the time and it finished its run. I don't see it translating well.


    STICKMAN: I'm not sure how Keanu Reeves is gonna regress back to TUBUULARRRR DUUUUDE after being John Wick.


    MADHERO: The 2nd is nuts in a fun kinda way honestly. And I do think there's something interesting about seeing these guys now in their late 40s and not having fullfilled the prophecy yet. There's potential in that, and it'll be fun to see that contrast with Reeves especially.


    LARRY: This just makes me think about Dumb and Dumber 2 honestly.


    MADHERO: Honestly, Dumb and Dumber just did the same schtick only now with the characters being older, making it kinda sad. Here it seems like they wanna go in a different direction and its about exploring that youthful part again.


    LARRY: I guess...it's just cheesy vs....gross out?


    STICKMAN: There's gonna be a depressing angle on the whole...middle aged schtick. Given they were like, 19 or whatever in the first film. I mean it's not gonna be Logan, but there's gonna be  bittersweet feel I'd hope.


    LARRY: Yeah. I don't think I wanna see a depressing Bill and Ted.


    MADHERO: Its also probably not going to be as needlessly expensive as Dumb and Dumber Too. I think its hopefully gonna be a fun throwback. Bill and Ted was never this huge commercial hit. Also, Logan but with Bill and Ted would be a riot


    LARRY: That's true, it won't cost a whole lot.


    STICKMAN: I'm down for BILL.


    MADHERO: Wait a minute. Logan. Bill and Ted....Bill S. Preston and Theodore LOGAN! HOLY SHIT


    STICKMAN: We're through the looking glass here, people.


    ------------------


    MADHERO: On that massive revelation, its now time to move on to Deadpool 2.  I could also highlight the other movies, but really, this seems like the only one people care about. Unless there's some hardcore Melissa McCarthy fans out there who really want to know more about Life of the Party.


    LARRY: #MelissaMcCarthyStopMakingMovies2018


    STICKMAN: I agree with this hashtag.


    MADHERO: Harsh. Lets maybe wait with that discussion and go and talk about somethng we're interested in.


    LARRY: Meh, Deadpool who?


    MOVIES

    DEADPOOL 2

    DIRECTOR: David Leitch (John Wick, Atomic Blonde)

    STARRING: Ryan Reynolds, Josh Brolin, Morena Baccarin, Julian Dennison, Zazie Deetz, TJ Miller, Brianna Hildebrand, Terry Crews

    SYNOPSIS: Deadpool (Reynolds) forms a team of mutants called the X-Force to protect a young mutant (Dennison) from the time-traveling soldier Cable (Brolin)

    MADHERO: I've been all over the map in terms of excitement for this honestly, but especially after the final trailer, I've found myself really excited for this movie. Helps that the marketing is once again top notch,


    STICKMAN: I'm kinda eh on Deadpool. I enjoyed watching the first but it is massively overrated and overstated in terms of being unique, I feel. If the new one turns out good I'll probably go see it, but I'm not excited, per ce.


    LARRY: I'm excited. Originally I wasn't but the trailers have really turned me around.


    MADHERO: I agree that I dont think its as unique as it thinks it is, and it kinda falls apart when you don't watch it with an audience, but I laughed my ass off the first time,


    STICKMAN: My hope with the sequel is that they go all in with the fourth wall breaking and don't just relegate that humour to turning to the camera and saying X-Men a bunch. The first one is funny but it's kinda a generic superhero movie once you get beyond that aspect.


    LARRY: Well there's gonna be plenty of that. X-Men references, I mean.


    STICKMAN: One plus the film has going for it is having a John Wick director on board, which means hopefully at least the fight scenes are gonna be cool...riiight?


    MADHERO: I do hope that the X-Force either get treated as more of a joke and not as characters we're supposed to care about. Domino and Peter aside, they look kinda lame. Either that or I hope they saved some good Terry Crews bits.


    LARRY: MY BOI PETER. Peter is gonna be the MVP of this film, guaranteed.


    STICKMAN: I just hope in general the film tries to be less sentimental in parts, it felt weird In the first.


    MADHERO: Well there's a Celine Dion song in there. There's gonna be sentiment at some point.


    STICKMAN: I think the MVP of the film is going to be Ryan Reynolds to be hoonnest. Without him these films would just  not work.


    MADHERO: Its gonna be hard when they need to find someone else to do it. Also Josh Brolin looks like fun as Cable. I hope they go all in on his stupid origin bullshit.


    LARRY: He probably isn't in the film all that much.


    STICKMAN: Deadpool gonna turn to camera and go "Disney, hehehe" and people gonna die laughter.


    LIFE OF THE PARTY

    DIRECTOR: Ben Falcone (Tammy, The Boss)

    STARRING: Melissa McCarthy, Molly Gordon, Gillian Jacobs, Maya Rudolph, Jacki Weaver

    SYNOPSIS: When her husband suddenly dumps her, longtime dedicated housewife Deanna (McCarthy) resets by going back to college - landing in the same class and school as her daughter (Gordon)

    LARRY: #MelissaMcCarthyStopMakingMovies2018


    MADHERO: I can't believe they remade Extremely Goofy Movie with Meliisa McCarthy.


    LARRY: NO! DO NOT SLANDER THAT MOVIE LIKE THAT. EXTREMELY GOOFY MOVIE IS AN UNDERRATED GEM.


    STICKMAN: Gawwwsh, ayuck. Anyway, wow many times does Mellisa McCarthy fall over in this movie.


    MADHERO: All of them. Its in her contract. I'm not as anti McCarthy as you guys are, but she really needs to stop doing movies directed by her husband. They are no bueno.


    STICKMAN: Anti McCarthyism. It's the 50s all over again.


    LARRY: I really don't comprehend it. This formula has been bad MULTIPLE TIMES. McCarthy can be a talented comedic force, she just keeps getting into clunkers.


    STICKMAN: Nobody gonna give me an award for my history joke. Okay. It's probably better written than this entire movie.


    MADHERO: Lets hope Happytime Murders isn't one of those clunkers when that eventually comes out. Also Sticky, I liked your historical joke.


    STICKMAN: Thanks babe.


    BREAKING IN

    DIRECTOR: James McTeigue (The Raven, Survivor)

    STARRING: Gabrielle Union, Seth Carr, Ajiona Alexus, Christa Miller

    SYNOPSIS: A woman (Union) fights to protect her family during a home invasion.

    STICKMAN: The prequel to Breaking Bad.


    MADHERO: Yep. This suuuuuuuuuuure is an home invasion movie.


    STICKMAN: The basic premise is a fun subversion but like, other than that. Hoowee...textbook. I hear it's fine? Like...the very definition of....watchable but nothing.


    LARRY: Yeah, besides for Gabrielle Union, who I do like, this looks passable. Then again, sometimes taking standard plots and infusing some representation can be a good thing.


    MADHERO: Union is not in enough movies, so its good to see her lead one, but this screams something you rent or watch drunkenly on Netflix.


    STICKMAN: Netflix is the home of 'Eh, why not' movies. In a cinema landscape too expensive to be worth taking risks on this caliber of films.


    MADHERO: Well it probably wasn't too expensive to make, so who knows. I can't say I really care about this film, but it'll have its audience.


    LARRY: I'd see it if I got the time. Deadpool 2 is gonna get my money first.


    STICKMAN: It looks fiiiine but I'm not gonna watch it unless it's on Netflix or TV and I'm bored, probably. But to be fair, I'm bored quite a lot.


    MADHERO: Its a perfect Moviepass film except that seems to be kinda dead sooooooooooo..... moving on


    SHOW DOGS

    DIRECTOR: Raja Gosnell (Beverly Hills Chihuahua, The Smurfs 2)

    STARRING: Will Arnett, Ludacris, Natasha Lyonne, Jordin Sparks, Gabriel Iglesias, Shaquille O’Neal

    SYNOPSIS: Max (Ludacris), a macho, solitary Rottweiler police dog is ordered to go undercover as a primped show dog, along with his human partner (Arnett), to avert a disaster from happening.


    STICKMAN: OH GOD.


    LARRY: Welp.


    MADHERO: The mouths. THE MOUUUUUUUUUUTHS


    STICKMAN: I had to sit through this trailer in front of Isle of Dogs and it was excruciattaiiinggg.


    MADHERO: Lol, that must've been quite the mood whiplash. I know its not really my scene, but I thought this kinda family film had died off.


    STICKMAN: I mean they tend to go direct to DVD these days. Spooky Buddies and what have you.


    LARRY: I have no comment other than the ever usable PASS.


    STICKMAN: That dog did not need a Brazilian, and I didn't need fart jokes either. This is my kryptonite.


    MADHERO: I was mainly distracted by the terrible mouth movement. Also, poor Will Arnett.


    STICKMAN: A career dive on par with his horse fursona.


    LARRY: This definitely feels like a BoJack project


    STICKMAN: But would they be real dogs or people dogs?


    BOOK CLUB

    DIRECTOR: Bill Holderman (directorial debut)

    STARRING: Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, Candice Bergen, Mary Steenburgen,

    SYNOPSIS: Four lifelong friends (Keaton, Fonda, Begen, Steenburgen) have their lives forever changed after reading 50 Shades of Grey in their monthly book club.

    STICKMAN: The less interesting spiritual sequel to Fight Club.


    MADHERO: And here I thought Show Dogs was going to be the most "Not my Thing" movie we'd talk about today.


    STICKMAN: Old people movies sure have made a resurgence these days. Much like the audience themselves, I'd imagine they'll die off soon.


    LARRY: Ooof.


    MADHERO: I think here it can be somewhat forgiven in that none of us are the right age nor gender for this. This isn't even a mom movie. Its a grandma movie.


    STICKMAN: I can't think of any movie I'd want to see less than 'Granny gets horny reading a book about BDSM and watersports'.


    MADHERO: Show Dogs?


    STICKMAN: Ah fair point.


    LARRY: Okay, to be fair, 50 Shades is a small plot point here. It's ultimately a romantic comedy.


    STICKMAN: Oh good, now it's boring too.


    LARRY: I'll take boring over horny grandmas.


    STICKMAN: We are so not the audience for this, like...it's almost unfair to talk about it. It's like going to a baby store and complaining none of the clothes fit us


    ----------


    MADHERO: Right. Lets talk about MOVIE OF THE WEEK INSTEAD!!!!!


    STICKMAN: We should rename Movie of the Week the Movie Club, and we watch Fifty Shades of Grey and get horny and decide to explore ourselves, y'know.


    LARRY: Calm it down, Stix.


    MADHERO: No, we're not. We're keeping the original formula of talking about recent VOD/DVD releases and once we saw in the theater. No need to fix what isn't broken


    STICKMAN: I wish someone would fix me.


    MADHERO: Maybe that can happen....what your MOTW? That might be able to help you


    LARRY: Likely won't. Given his usual choices.


    MOVIE OF THE WEEK

    STICKMAN: Oh...WELLLLL....I watched a weird South Korean superhero... comedy... drama.... nnn...thingghh? Psychokinesis, from the same director who brought you the cult favourite Train to Busan, along with a host of animated films, is exclusive to Netflix outside of South Korea, and given it was just there to waaatch? I watched it...and it was...okaaaay? 


    It's kinda  a weird one, and not as good as Train to Busan, which in of itself had issues too. Basically, it's about a father attempting to rekindle a relationship with his long-seperated daughter after her mother dies during the start of an aggressive demolition project on her place of work and living. Also...the father drank weird meteor juice that gives me telekinesis powers. What follows is a film that's part...weird slapstick comedy that feels like it's aimed at a family audience, part melodrama about lost loved ones and rekindling relationships...part violent police/corporation corruption story, and part superhero movie. That last part only really coming into play at the end. It's a film of many parts and they don't all gel that well together, but the last 30 minutes are quite fun, and it's never bad by any means. It's on Netflix, so...yeah...can't complain.


    LARRY: Train to Busan is NUTS. And...this one sounds similarly hard to pin down


    MADHERO: Well this is.... different


    STICKMAN: South Korean cinema I've noticed is always a weird blend of tones. You get a lot of goofy comedy, and then out of nowhere it'll be super melodramatic and weepy.


    LARRY: Hm. Important to keep in mind... But hey, slapstick comedy with telekinesis? I'd watch that.


    STICKMAN: There's lots of people falling over, if that's your thing. It's being promoted as something of a super hero movie, but it's not really so much that until the final act, so don't go in expecting as much.


    MADHERO: True. I think it can be interesting, and considering superhero movies are so American, its nice to get a different peespective


    STICKMAN: Yeah, it's always fun to see how a different country tackles a well-trodden genre. As it was with Train to Busan and zombie movies. I'd recommend Busan over this one, mind.


    MADHERO: Alright, Larry. What's your MOTW? Surely nothing too melodramatic, right?


    LARRY: Well, that's not exactly the word I would use.


    STICKMAN: What is the word you'd use? WHAT IS IT!? TELL ME


    LARRY: Funny. My MOTW is Tully, directed by Jason Reitman from a screenplay by Diablo Cody. This is a pair that has worked together before on both Juno and Young Adult, and it's clear that they are a good pairing for each other; whether or not you enjoy their films, This is the case with Tully, a film that stumbles here and there, but is otherwise a charming, hysterical, and poignant look at the effects of motherhood on the female psyche. Charlize Theron plays a mother of three who hires a night nanny, Tully (hey, that’s the title), played by Mackenzie Davis, and it soon becomes apparent that Tully is something of an anomaly. That's all I'll say, but the film definitely takes some...weird turns, which I'll get to later.


    Charlize Theron continues to prove that she is best when restrained, and Mackenzie Davis is a pitch-perfect match for her on screen. The cinematography is beautiful, the sound design is effective and the pacing is generally strong...until the third act, which is where the film starts to bite off more than it can chew. Still, that doesn't take away from an otherwise enjoyable film that you'll probably miss thanks to all these Wars of Infinity or whatever. I'd suggest giving it a watch if you ever get the opportunity to.


    STICKMAN: Does she drink a lot of mother's milk in this film.


    LARRY: Sticky, yes there is a lot of breastfeeding in the film.


    MADHERO: I've heard a bunch about this movie, including the twist, and honestly, I still don't really know what to know of this film and Jason Reitman as a  filmmaker.


    LARRY: I generally like Reitman, though I hear he's had a few missteps as of late. What with Men, Women, and Children and Young Adult not doing so hot.


    STICKMAN: These films do not appeal to me at all.


    MADHERO: I liked old Reitman. Don't mean Ivan, but I feel he started really well with Thank You For Smoking and Juno. Then I hated Young Adult but that's really my thing. But stuff like Labor Day and especially Men, Women and Children made me feel he really regressed as a filmmaker.


    LARRY: Well Tully definitely gets back to his roots. It feels very reminiscent of Juno. Also Thank You For Smoking is one of my all-time favorite films.


    STICKMAN: Sounds like it's a bit all over the place though.


    MADHERO: Good to hear that's it a turnaround. I don't think the subject matter interests me enough to see it, but I'm happy you liked it, even with the weird twists and turns.


    LARRY: What interested me was Theron most of all, and she is excellent here. Reminded me why she became a powerhouse in the first place.


    STICKMAN: Coo. What about you, Madthew Heroic, what manner of bullshit did you watch this week?


    LARRY: ...Madthew? Really?


    MADHERO: Welll..... just like you, I watched my bullshit through the magic of Netflix on my laptop, because its easy. So Netflix is kinda bad at advertising their movies. You'd think having an all new John Woo movie would be something to advertise. As it stands, they were too busy making Oblvious Anime Man memes and watching followers talk about Everything Sucks. Anyway,  Manhunt is the new Woo movie in question, and its very much a return to classic form.


    A Chinese prosecutor gets framed for a crime he didn't commit in Japan, and a lot of shit ensues. This has all the classic Woo tropes you can hope for. Gun Fu? Check. Crazy plottwists? Check. And Doves? O you bet there are doves. In a way, it feels like a throwback and almost like a parody of his films. It does feel a lot cleaner than his previous.films., but if you know what you're in for. you'll have a good time


    STICKMAN: Is there good action, though. Like...I can't put up with John Woo's bullshit unless there's good aaction.


    MADHERO: Yeah. A lot of the action is great.


    LARRY: Sweeeeeeeeeet. Or shall I say. WOOhoo.


    STICKMAN: What's the balance between Wooshit and Action.


    MADHERO: Theres a lot of Wooshit in there. It doesn't go full Mission Impossible 2, but there's a LOT of the things people make fun of when they talk Woo.


    STICKMAN: Ooyy. See I love over the top action films and cool fights, but John Woo ain't never done it for me.


    LARRY: I really don't feel strongly one way or the other. If it's a good movie, I'll watch it. Plain and simple.


     MADHERO: I don't think this'll be your thing. But hey, you can always give it a try since its on Netflix and turn it off otherwise.


    STICKMAN: I mean, it works for weird anime shows. Netflix is a window into all sorts of shit.


    LARRY: I'm always looking to expand my film viewing. Not afraid to dive down some weird rabbit holes.


    STICKMAN: I wish I could unxpand some of my film viewing, and remove Mission Impossible 2.


    ------

    MADHERO: Alright. That does it for this week's episode. Next up, we're getting into more summer fun with..... uh oh. The Starred Wars. Finally, I can't wait for more porg adventures. Oh wait, its a prequel before porgs existed, so I guess we have to do with gungans.


    LARRY: And Woody Harrelson.


    STICKMAN: Oh fuck, do we have more Star Wars ALREADY!? AAAGGHH. I SCREAAAAAAM.


    MADHERO: I can't bear another batch of hot takes. I'm not strong enough


    LARRY: You must become one with the hot takes, Mad. That is how you will become stronger.


    MADHERO: I refuse, but I'll prepare. See ya next time.


    STICKMAN: NOT MY STARGATE. GOODBYE.


    LARRY: See y'all later!!

  • My first post-college journal update

    3 months ago

    kyenryn Erin

    It's 2018. 


    A lot has happened in my life since I first became a Rooster Teeth fan in 2013 and made an account on the website in 2014. As I was experiencing the rollercoaster that is college, I found solace watching content from a company that focused on comedy and nerd culture.


    College felt like, and still feels like, a parallel world to the one I'm currently living in. I was a shell of myself, who would rather try and make people like me then create genuine human connections to those who enjoy the things I enjoy. For example, I would spend multiple weekend nights drinking my junior year, hanging around people who I didn't actually care about (aside from like, two other people in the room).


    My senior year (or semester, rather, as I graduated early in December 2017) was spent in a relationship that I would later end due to distance/various issues (including disconnection). I spent all of my time with that person out of fear that we would eventually grow apart and move on in our lives. 


    I was sleeping at that person's apartment nearly every single day of the week; they cooked for me and took care of me like a parent would. This habit became increasingly unhealthy as I forgot what it was like to be by myself and would also drive one of his roommates to hate me and refuse to speak to me whenever I was in the room.


    I even tried to find a job near where I attended school, but I was unable to because I was applying for jobs that didn't exactly fit in with my majors, Journalism and English. This, however, turned out to be a blessing in disguise.


    I had made a small group of friends in college (our squad name is BEST, which takes a letter from each of our first names) that I hung out with and spoke to almost all the time. Before junior year, I spent so much time with these people, laughing and screaming in our dining hall at stupid and sometimes insensitive jokes we'd make to each other. We'd laugh together, cry together, get angry with each other like siblings would.


    Once junior year hit, I became flakier than a saltine cracker.


    After senior year, I thought I had completely thrown my relationship with my squad down the drain. I focused on partying and being in a relationship my last two years of college and spent less time with them. I realized now how stupid that was, considering I would probably go to jail if that meant having some stupid fun with these guys (just kidding, future employers). 


    I managed to slowly reconnect with the people I thought I lost after college thanks to Facebook Messenger. I started to realize the important things in my life, like my squad, my new freelance job, becoming healthier (working out, eating right, etc.) thanks to being at home and finally decompressing from the constant mismanagement of college.


    Three months later, I landed a job at an amazing media company.


    Six months later, I'm going back up to school to walk at graduation.


    And now, I'm purchasing a Rooster Teeth First membership to try to connect to the community and company that makes me laugh every single day.


    Although I didn't go into specifics, Rooster Teeth content has helped me significantly throughout college for being a distraction from the craziness in my life. Every moment I could get away from being a college student to be a fan for 30+ minutes felt euphoric.


    This is how I justified myself to spend a little extra each month to watch the content that is constantly showing me new ways to entertain an audience.


    Thank you, Rooster Teeth, and to my friends who know more about me than I do myself.