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    • Buff Buddies! Week 1- Mental Health

      3 years ago

      FuzzyPanda95

      Hi Guys!

      Usually, I am not great about posting journals on my own page here at the RT site. Mainly, I go to the RT Store or browse all the cool videos here that make me lol. However, one show in particular has drawn my attention. Most of you can guess from the title, that show is "Buff Buddies" with Zach Anner, Meg Turney and Josh the Murder at the RTX guy.

      PERSONAL LIFE:

      Without going into too much personal detail on the first date, I will start by saying this: I am currently struggling with confidence in my physical condition. I am 20 years old, in college and trying to piece together what I want to pursue for the rest of my life. Though some might not perceive me as such (and I often try not to expose it), I feel unhealthy. From my eating habits, my lack of exercise and general body-thinking, I have not keep in what I'd consider 'good shape'.

      Now, I'm not referring to 'good shape' as in six-pack abs, trap muscles the size of cantaloupes or thighs that could crush a Nokia phone. I mean 'good shape' as in taking care of myself, both mentally and physically.

      I wholesomely believe that diet and exercise can be a physical AND mental concept. Which is precisely why, for the rest of this journal, I will keep it low-calorie and fat free. I also hope that my personal journal here can help some of you in the RT community who are looking for answers as to the more psychological side of getting/being healthy.

      Of course, these three individuals make me laugh with every appearance they have in RT videos, as well as on their individual YouTube channel content. This show has come at a critical point in my life. I am in my senior year of college, with everything crashing down on me like the world's tallest stack of flapjacks (mmm...). Everything seems to be falling into place...like, right on top of me. Between classes, resume-building, research, homework, work-work, extracurricular activities and keeping a sliver of a social life going (?), these past few months have not been easy-going.

      Since my university started courses back up in September, my physical and mental condition had taken a backseat to the workload of a full-time student. I ignored any inclination to go to the gym, ate whatever was in front of me and kept going like there were not enough hours in the day. Because I was living non-stop busy, I would find myself extremely vulnerable to insecurities about the physical state of my body. I would avoid looking in the mirror because I hated the truth about what I had sacrificed about my health to gain time to...essentially be more stressed.

      I live right next door to the university's rec center. Like, I could throw a rock and hit a window there...which would cost me something like a $500 university fine, but the point being is that fitness is right there. What killed me about working out was that I used to do it quite frequently. Last semester, I had actually lived farther away from the rec center at another dorm building. But the roommates I had back then were heavy into fitness and staying in shape. I learned a lot from both of them about workout routines, healthy eating and which supplements to trust my body with and which ones to avoid. So, to have this knowledge and not utilize it at all was a harsh realization for me. I knew what I had to do to maintain a physically healthy lifestyle, but I was confused as to why I lacked the motivation to take the first step.

      A few years ago, I was officially diagnosed with depression. A case that ran on my mom's side of the family. I took medication to try to balance the neurotransmitters in my brain that affect mood and emotions. With the help of the medication and counseling, I was able to identify parts of my life that were mentally destructive to me. I worked for a long time on readjusting my daily routine to be more beneficial to my mental health. As of August this year, I was permitted to go off the medication and to try to tackle my mental health on my own. It was during this time where I felt most vulnerable about both my physical and mental state. With the support of family and friends, I was able to narrow down a gray fog of thoughts to a central focus: my future.

      What eventually became apparent to me was yes, I am in my last year of college. I will soon graduate and head out into the open-world of reality. Not only this, but there is no time like now to introduce this kind of change into my life.

      So the journal that you are reading now is the product of this last line of thinking. As a psychology major, I have learned a lot about the mind and various processes that contribute to our everyday interactions and thought processes. Like my previous knowledge of fitness from my roommates, this psychological knowledge does not make me able to automatically switch everything about my thinking to be 100% great. If anything, I had become more critical of myself than ever. But what I had recently learned, from a wise professor whom I have been doing research with for a while now, is that a motivated mind leads to a motivated body.

      I know once the pilot of "Buff Buddies" released that now was the best time to put my words into action and start reaching for some goals. Without having a set weight or time-stretch goal, I am committing myself to working on me.

      Here is the part where I share some of what I am initially doing to get motivated, as well as what some of my routine consists of:

      EATING HEALTHY:

      - Everyday, I make myself a protein shake. As I've learned from my friends and have seen on sites such as bodybuilding.com, "at least 1 protein shake a day (even in the off days) works to repair and restore your muscles. Even rest days are crucial because your muscles are still in a malleable state from your workouts"

      **I should note that my measurements are based on a 20 oz. Oster bottle. It's convenient because you can blend the ingredients right in the bottle**

      My usual protein shake consists of...

      -2% or Fat-Free Milk

      -2-3 scoops of organic, unsalted peanut butter (my favorite is 'Teddy's')

      -1 whole banana (helps with the texture in my opinion, along with needed potassium for energy)

      -2-3 good-sized ice cubes (keeps it cold and regulates thickness of shake)

      -2 scoops of protein. In my case, I use a chocolate flavor to make a chocolate/peanut butter combination in the shake

      -1 rounded teaspoon of creatine. I personally use unflavored so that I can't taste it in the shake, but there are many brands and flavors to choose from!

      That's my basic go-to protein shake. Some optional ingredients I put in are:

      -1 raw egg ("moar protein")

      -A bit of granola. I know 'NatureValley' sells large bags of different kinds of granola for pretty cheap. I use the peanut butter granola for consistency. Tastes great on yogurt too!

      Outside of the protein shake, I try to regulate my diet, but not to the point where I am starving myself of anything my body craves.

      One of the more important things I have learned is that it is important to listen to your body every now and then. This is how you avoid serious injuries while working out as well as keep a good, healthy mind about body image in terms of eating.

      Think about it. It is very hard to quit anything cold-turkey. To quit multiple foods and drinks cold turkey at the same time must be even more difficult. This is why I emphasize the word 'regulate'. Don't deprive yourself of something forever, but also don't indulge in it as a luxury. I had 2 cookies yesterday when I could have had 7. That is progress to me.

      EXERCISE:

      Again, this is a bit subjective to my own situation living on-campus at school and within the boundaries of my schedule.

      Starting out in the past couple of weeks, I strive for 2-3 solid workouts a week, spread out as best as possible. So, a good workout week for me would be Tuesday night, Thursday night and Saturday night/Sunday morning.

      Some times my schedule throws a wrench in my plans, so I have to improvise. In that case, I use the space in my room to do push-ups, sit-ups, dips (with a stable chair) and planks.

      I do a lot of planks because my core is something that I often fail to exercise correctly when I'm at the gym. Instead of a silent count, I will usually listen to music and gauge the length of a plank from there.

      So, there you guys have it! This is my first post contributing to #BuffBuddies. I want to note that I am certainly not a professional fitness instructor or psychological master. I am a member of this great community of awesome individuals who all strive to help one another and this is my part for the community.

      ***I also want to thank Zach, Meg and Josh for starting this series for not only yourselves, but the RT community! I know watching you guys has helped me make the first step.***

      If you have any questions about specifics in this post, or just want to know more about me, feel free to message me! :)

      -Carter



    • 3 years ago

      FuzzyPanda95
    • Travel/Lodging Advice

      in Forums > Travel/Lodging Advice | Follow this topic

      FuzzyPanda95

      Hey guys! First off, I'm wicked excited to meet all of you guys down there for the shoot!

      Only thing I'm having trouble with is the whole getting/staying down there in Texas. This will literally be the farthest away from home that I've traveled.
      So, I'm looking at plane tickets round trip for arriving on the 8th and leaving on the 12th.
      What I could really use help with is what you guys think the best option for housing would be during my stay? I would like to be as cost-effective as possible, while staying with some of you cool 535 peeps :) I would also need a ride to the shoot for those days, so that factors in to the whole location-housing thing.

      Any advice or additional info would be awesome!

      1 reply

    • Depression is an Ugly Thing

      in Forums > Depression is an Ugly Thing | Follow this topic

      FuzzyPanda95

      Hey guys,

      I posted this in the general forum, but I figured I would narrow it down a bit to post for you guys.

      I wanted to get into some real shit and talk about depression. I'm hoping to reach those who share in this and to possibly educate those who want to read a primary source of the mental illness.

      As you may know, the recent passing of beloved actor/comedian Robin Williams was the "hot topic" for a while, but a somewhat lesser discussed idea was his depression...

      What is depression?

      Well, according to the medical definition found in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary: a (1) : a state of feeling sad (2) : a mood disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty with thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal thoughts or an attempt to commit suicide.

      So there's the past five years of my life in a few organized sentences?

      What a dictionary definition does not tell you is what depression is in your life.

      It was around the end of my freshman year in high school that I initially suspected I might be depressed. In the usual high school fashion, I swapped out my old group of friends for...
      ...for.....
      ...........nobody.
      Yeah, my friends decided to become the scene group in my school. The grease-monkeys. Potheads. Dropouts...
      So, at the end of my freshman year, on top of being very overwhelmed by the reality of high school academics and social structure, I had little to no support. No foundation. I had my family at home, but I couldn't have Mom and Dad take my hand and walk me through the rest of my life.
      This was the first taste of what an independent life would be. The kind of freedom that you always dream about as a kid. The kind that I wish I didn't have. This freedom? What was "free" about being lonely?

      It was around this time that my parents revealed to me the history of depression on both sides of the family. I began to realize what those pills that Mom took every night were. And Nana. And Aunt Fay. And Grandpa...

      Depression is this essence of failure that walks in your shadow. The idea of never being good enough for anyone. It is the thought that grounds your smile so it only lasts a moment. Its the fear of being alone...anywhere...anytime. That maybe no one will come back and you'll be left alone.
      Depression is the anger you build, the frustration at the face of this sudden weakness. Your friend calls you strong and you cringe at the thought of how wrong they are. If only they dug a little deeper. Maybe they would see it too. Maybe they could help.
      But no.
      Depression is a label. A badge. One that you carry around so that, if people know to look, they will see it...and nothing else.
      Depression is separation. Isolation. The fear of dragging anyone you care about into your purgatory.
      Depression is holding back the tears, wanting to scream for someone to please fucking help me...
      Depression is wanting someone to be there, close to you, not to share the pain, but be a blissful distraction.
      Depression is knowing that her beauty and kindness deserve a stable, genuine kind of love.

      I've been living with depression since the end of freshman year in high school (almost 5 years now). It wasn't until a couple months ago that I finally asked about anti-depressants. I was scared of them. I knew people who took them, how they described this sort of artificial happiness. A numbness to the pain. All wrapped in a tiny pill. I hated the thought of something someone concocted in a lab somewhere would now be the source of my happiness. I needed something outside of me, to make me happy.

      But I talked to my doctor. I told him my concerns. I told him my history of counseling, therapy. What worked and didn't work. Who I thought I was and who I thought I would be. I spent about 2 hours talking to him. Part of me thought I was convincing him that I did not need these pills. Another part of me was hoping I was proving how desperately I wanted to hang on.
      The way I saw it, I had two futures in front of me: the one with anti-depressants, or the one that might not exist long.

      "The way it looks...it seems that your depression is not very circumstantial, but organic"
      Organic.
      Organic.
      Organic.

      "There was a good chance that you would inherit the kind of depression that has been running in your family lines"

      There's a good chance that I may never outgrow it. That it will never just...go away after a few years.

      Depression is wanting to put an end to the pain.
      Depression is reading about the famous musicians, poets, Sylvia Plath, Kurt Cobain and all that. They did it.
      They did it.
      ...I couldn't.
      Depression is thinking how much of a burden your death would be to the rest of your family.
      Depression is putting others far above yourself.

      It's September 30th, 2014. I've been on anti-depressants for about three refills now. I take one a day, at night, along with my acne medication.
      I'm in my second year of college. For the first time, I have talked to more than 3 girls per week. I have left my dorm room door open and allowed strangers to rumble in. Strangers that I can now call friends.
      Living on my own (with 2 roommates).
      I talked to this girl. Found out she had a boyfriend.
      I talked to this girl. Found out she had a boyfriend.
      I talked to this girl. Got her number. Found out she had boyfriend.
      I got her number...
      I GOT HER NUMBER???

      Depression was counting the number of failed relationships because of my insecurities.
      Depression was more than content to stay up with me at night...thinking.
      Depression was the friend I never wanted.

      Now...

      Depression is watching as I carry its weight.
      Depression is wondering why I don't stop as much anymore.
      Depression is confused as to how I successfully approached that girl and introduced myself.
      Depression is, and will always be, a part of me.

      But Depression will never be me.

      7 replies

    • Depression is an Ugly Thing

      in Forums > Depression is an Ugly Thing | Follow this topic

      FuzzyPanda95

      Hey guys,

      I wanted to get into some real shit and talk about depression. I'm hoping to reach those who share in this and to possibly educate those who want to read a primary source of the mental illness.

      As you may know, the recent passing of beloved actor/comedian Robin Williams was the "hot topic" for a whlie, but a somewhat lesser discussed idea was his depression.
      So what is depression?
      Well, according to the medical definition found in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary: a (1) : a state of feeling sad (2) : a mood disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty with thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal thoughts or an attempt to commit suicide.

      So there's the past five years of my life in a few organized sentences?

      What a dictionary definition does not tell you is what depression is in your life.

      It was around the end of my freshman year in high school that I initially suspected I might be depressed. In the usual high school fashion, I swapped out my old group of friends for...
      ...for.....
      ...........nobody.
      Yeah, my friends decided to become the scene group in my school. The grease-monkeys. Potheads. Dropouts...
      So, at the end of my freshman year, on top of being very overwhelmed by the reality of high school academics and social structure, I had little to no support. No foundation. I had my family at home, but I couldn't have Mom and Dad take my hand and walk me through the rest of my life.
      This was the first taste of what an independent life would be. The kind of freedom that you always dream about as a kid. The kind that I wish I didn't have. This freedom? What was "free" about being lonely?

      It was around this time that my parents revealed to me the history of depression on both sides of the family. I began to realize what those pills that Mom took every night were. And Nana. And Aunt Fay. And Grandpa...

      Depression is this essence of failure that walks in your shadow. The idea of never being good enough for anyone. It is the thought that grounds your smile so it only lasts a moment. Its the fear of being alone...anywhere...anytime. That maybe no one will come back and you'll be left alone.
      Depression is the anger you build, the frustration at the face of this sudden weakness. Your friend calls you strong and you cringe at the thought of how wrong they are. If only they dug a little deeper. Maybe they would see it too. Maybe they could help.
      But no.
      Depression is a label. A badge. One that you carry around so that, if people know to look, they will see it...and nothing else.
      Depression is separation. Isolation. The fear of dragging anyone you care about into your purgatory.
      Depression is holding back the tears, wanting to scream for someone to please fucking help me...
      Depression is wanting someone to be there, close to you, not to share the pain, but be a blissful distraction.
      Depression is knowing that her beauty and kindness deserve a stable, genuine kind of love.

      I've been living with depression since the end of freshman year in high school (almost 5 years now). It wasn't until a couple months ago that I finally asked about anti-depressants. I was scared of them. I knew people who took them, how they described this sort of artificial happiness. A numbness to the pain. All wrapped in a tiny pill. I hated the thought of something someone concocted in a lab somewhere would now be the source of my happiness. I needed something outside of me, to make me happy.

      But I talked to my doctor. I told him my concerns. I told him my history of counseling, therapy. What worked and didn't work. Who I thought I was and who I thought I would be. I spent about 2 hours talking to him. Part of me thought I was convincing him that I did not need these pills. Another part of me was hoping I was proving how desperately I wanted to hang on.
      The way I saw it, I had two futures in front of me: the one with anti-depressants, or the one that might not exist long.

      "The way it looks...it seems that your depression is not very circumstantial, but organic"
      Organic.
      Organic.
      Organic.

      "There was a good chance that you would inherit the kind of depression that has been running in your family lines"

      There's a good chance that I may never outgrow it. That it will never just...go away after a few years.

      Depression is wanting to put an end to the pain.
      Depression is reading about the famous musicians, poets, Sylvia Plath, Kurt Cobain and all that. They did it.
      They did it.
      ...I couldn't.
      Depression is thinking how much of a burden your death would be to the rest of your family.
      Depression is putting others far above yourself.

      It's September 30th, 2014. I've been on anti-depressants for about three refills now. I take one a day, at night, along with my acne medication.
      I'm in my second year of college. For the first time, I have talked to more than 3 girls per week. I have left my dorm room door open and allowed strangers to rumble in. Strangers that I can now call friends.
      Living on my own (with 2 roommates).
      I talked to this girl. Found out she had a boyfriend. S
      I talked to this girl. Found out she had a boyfriend.
      I talked to this girl. Got her number. Found out she had boyfriend.
      I got her number...
      I GOT HER NUMBER???

      Depression was counting the number of failed relationships because of my insecurities.
      Depression was more than content to stay up with me at night...thinking.
      Depression was the friend I never wanted.

      Now...

      Depression is watching as I carry its weight.
      Depression is wondering why I don't stop as much anymore.
      Depression is confused as to how I successfully approached that girl and introduced myself.
      Depression is, and will always be, a part of me.

      But Depression will never be me.

      Post edited 9/30/14 7:41PM

      12 replies

    • Destiny Grand Opening

      in Forums > Destiny Grand Opening | Follow this topic

      FuzzyPanda95

      Hey guys! So I just started getting into playing Destiny for the 360 (I know, college budget...can't afford the One). I played in the beta when it was available also. Personally, I love the game. It was one of the only games that I was seriously looking forward to when I pre-ordered it. I think that the developers at Bungie have always had a knack for structure and focus for what they want their games to present to the community. Aside from that, the game itself is really fun. Granted, I'm aware that not so much is available in terms of story, maps, multiplayer, etc. (come on guys, its only been out for a week!).
      Anyways, I wanted to share my thoughts and I want to hear from the Infamous 535 about their takes on the game (across all consoles).
      What has your experience been like in the game so far?
      Is it above or below your expectations?
      Is there any specific reason you did/did not buy it in the first place?

      Also, my gamertag for XBL is aFuzzyBabyPanda in case anyone wants to join up on a fireteam. I'm living on campus at college, so I won't be online every day, but look for me in the afternoon during the week (EST).

      Cheers! smiley0.gif

      Post edited 9/15/14 1:38PM

      4 replies

    • First Entry

      5 years ago

      FuzzyPanda95

      Some people join chatrooms on random sites to troll and just be annoying. While I was presented with an opportunity to do so while browsing eyeonanime.com last night (gotta catch up on that Legend of Korra, ya know?), I figured I'd do one better. I educated all the weirdly sexual deviants by performing various songs in between their rants and rumbling...
      Band: Cake In The Mailbox
      Venue(s): Cleveland, OH/ Tokyo, Japan.
      Set List:
      "Somebody to Love"- Queen
      "Royals"- Lorde
      Encore
      "Thunderstruck"- AC/DC

      Needless to say, the gig went very well. As requested, the band will be touring more chat rooms.
      Rock on.
      -Cake In The Mailbox

    • 2019 years ago

      FuzzyPanda95
  • Comments (3)

    • afa1234

      5 years ago

      hey fellow 535!

      • afa1234

        5 years ago

        nice to meet you too

      • FuzzyPanda95 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        5 years ago

        Hey! Unbelievable right??? Nice to meet ya!

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